Saturday, August 31, 2013


The war on drugs. 
It sounds good. 
Countless lives have been ruined because of them.
But, as usual, things go awry.

It's very irritating to me when I hear that in order to get a prescription at some of the chain pharmacies you have to go through some song and dance and convince the pharmacist that you actually need them. 

Oh, and I'm not talking about the patient.
I'm talking about the doctor.

It's ridiculous when the pharmacists puts your doctor through an interrogation. They want to know if they've tried every other remedy before prescribing opiates. This is absolutely unbelievable to me. When can a pharmacist override the doctor? Who went to medical school??

Well, it seems it's happening every day.

I understand that there are pill mills out there. It should be fairly easy to catch the ones who doctor shop and refill scrips from different doctors at different pharmacies. I will agree that they are abused, HOWEVER, why do we have to start living our lives from the position of the abuser? When is the pharmacy allowed to use CYA (cover your a**) as a legitimate tool for dispensing prescriptions given to you by a doctor? 

I will agree that people need to be conscientious and responsible. You don't leave them about when you have children in the home. You need to understand their power but that doesn't mean that the people who are responsible and need them to actually function on a daily basis need to be looked at as some kind of addict. 

Pain is debilitating. 

I also understand overdose but if it can be caught before it's irreversible why isn't naloxone being used more? Naloxone reverses the effects of the opioid and could save thousands of lives due to accidental overdose.  Addiction is a whole other animal and unless the root problem is dealt with all the naloxone in the world won't help. 

It just sounds like anyone who uses opiates is automatically labeled an addict.

That is SO wrong.

Where is the balance?

As usual, when it comes to legislation...

Common sense and balance are missing.

Sunday, August 18, 2013


I don't think my doctor believed me.
He does now.

Pain management is a funny thing. Obviously, you have issues otherwise you wouldn't be there. If you don't have much pain you don't need medication. If you have too much pain you're probably neurotic.

I must have fallen somewhere between the two.

He has been pressuring me to get a discogram for over a year. I gave him the report from an MRI but that wasn't good enough. What is it? They don't like reports other doctors get....they want to see for themselves.

OK, so I finally gave in. 
I TOLD him I was terrified. 
And I told him why.

I know what disks are bad. I researched the discogram and the more I read the more terrified I became. You can't be totally out because they need the feedback from you about the level of pain. If you're disks are bad you're in for a rough ride.


They give you a mild sedative. They put on the fluoroscope and put a few needles out there to numb the area.

It didn't work.

When they put the first needle in, I can tell you that I have NEVER had that kind of pain in my life. I went through 28 hours of labor and that was a walk in the park compared to this. Let me say, as I've said in posts before, I can take a great deal of pain. I've had stitches without Novocaine in my forehead and didn't move a muscle.....and I was 6 years old. I have sprains and breaks and got through it by almost having an out of body experience and talked myself out of the pain.

That's whats so weird. I can do it with some types of pain. 

Anyway, that first needle hit and I grabbed the table and screamed. Literally screamed. I was crying and screaming and endured that through 5 disks that he examined. It was the most painful thing I've ever been through. 

And that doesn't even adequately describe it.
There truly are no words.

So I've spend the last week getting through the flare that the test has brought. It's raining again so between the test and the weather I've just been a peach. 

The one good thing?

The lady that came after me came in and her face was WHITE. She was devoid of me on that one.....

Her words to the doctor?

"Oh dear God, please don't do to me what you did to that other lady."

I went home before she started screaming.

I think he finally believes me.

And I don't think he'll ask me to repeat the test.

Friday, August 9, 2013


I really miss writing.
I just can't think of anything.
I feel like a blob.

It's been a rough month. I'm trying to get my thyroid under control but it takes a long time for the medication to really kick in. Then I wasn't on the right strength and now I'm taking a separate T3 and T4 medication.

I think I'm starting to make headway.
But it's been real rough.

I've had my nails done since I was 16. I got fake nails for my birthday and I never looked back. Imagine my chagrin when the nail liquid caused a reaction that wasn't pretty. I got a reaction that looked like a real bad eczema all over the tips of my fingers. The skin would peel and then they became sensitive. Real sensitive.

So, I had my nails taken off to let my hands heal. 

Couple that with feeling like roadkill. So let's get this straight. I'm gaining weight.....due to the thyroid. I can't that due to the Fibro or the thyroid???? My body aches all over...again, due to the Fibro or the thyroid??

Now my hands have to look like crap?
Let's add a tiara.

I've looked at my blog and had posts in my head. Every time I sat down I thought, "I need to write about this." Then I couldn't think of anything to say. Even as I sit here I feel like someone has taken a baseball bat to my body and beat the crap out of it.

My 61st birthday is this month and I hate it. Everyone says I don't look it but as I look in the mirror I see a woman that needs to lose 25 pounds. I look at my hands and my nails look like crapola.  Then I look in the mirror and see a woman who's attitude is in the toilet.

I want to go back to the gym. ( I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT) Believe it or not, the movement does make me feel better. It's just at this point I will cry through the workout.....I hurt that bad. I want to be able to enjoy this time of my life. Right now all I'm thankful for is my bed and my comfy pillows.

I guess I can be thankful for one thing.

I don't need a facelift.

However, I wouldn't mind one of those lifestyle lifts........

Yes I would......the pain wouldn't feel good and I'm afraid I'd look like the joker.

Am I rambling?????

OK....back to bed.

Did I mention it's been humid???