Saturday, March 22, 2014


Yes, it's the O series.
And I am tired.
Just tired....or......

O - is for out of gas. I have just been soooo tired lately. It feels like there is just nothing left. The fatigue has taken over or, as I call it, I've been visited by the twins. (The twins are pain and fatigue.)

O - is for ouch. I've had a lot of that too lately. It usually starts in my hands and works its way out. All I know is that my whole body has said "ouch" for way too long.

O - is for that out of control feeling when both of the twins hit me with a vengeance. I just feel slammed by them and my body is out of control. 

O - is for organized. I have to be organized otherwise I would forget everything. My OCD kicks in and it feels kind of good to keep a little of it around. Organization makes me feel good and safe. Everything, I mean everything, goes into my phone. Checking it is a whole other issue but at least I put it in there. 

O - is for ostrich. Like that beautiful bird, I tend to put my head in the sand when it comes to symptoms. I tend to think everything is due to the Fibromyalgia and that is just not true. On the other hand, I'm more aware of everything that happens in my body. I don't know whether that is prudent or sad.

O - is for organic. Ever since the Fibromyalgia I've been more aware of the food that I eat. I look at labels and try to go for the organic whenever possible. I think that pesticides and processed food is responsible for a lot of the illnesses that are more prevalent today.

O - is for objective. I read a lot of research and articles. A lot of them. I try to remain objective when it comes to the management of Fibromyalgia. I also come unglued when I read stupid articles from people that don't have a clue about the science and truth about this illness.

O - is for opinionated, ornery and outspoken. I am and I know it.

O - is for oppressive. The fatigue and pain sometimes feel so oppressive. It weighs me down and I can't seem to get out from under it. My attitude goes in the toilet and I get depressed. There are times that I can deal with it and times that I can't. Lately, I've been in the "can't" category.

O - is for outside. I need to just go outside and walk. The weather has been beautiful in Las Vegas and I should take advantage of it. Actually, I need to just go outside, look at the sky and breathe in the fresh air. It could be a lot worse and I need the Vitamin D.

O - is for Okay. I'm getting there and I will get there. I'm just going to put on a Disney classic cartoon. They always make me smile. How about Robin Hood??? 

There we are.....

Roger Miller singing......

O de la le

O de la le

golly what a day.

That's it!

Sunday, March 16, 2014


So here we are
at the letter R.
Most of all we reflect....
and remember.....

R - is definitely for remember. Fibromyalgia is tough on your life. Most of us were Type A personalities that would thrive on the stress of our lives or careers. Once this lovely syndrome Velcros itself to us, we remember with longing our lives and for those of us who lost it....our careers.

R - which brings us to reinvent. If you lost your job or career, Fibromyalgia causes you to have to reinvent your life purpose. This is a tough one. I still struggle with this one but every time someone comments how I've helped them I know that I've found something that I wouldn't trade for the world. It has given me a creative outlet and it's given me purpose.

R - is for reluctance. Even though I've found an outlet, I've been reluctant to let my old life go. I still go through periods of longing and wish I could try sales again. Every time I think I can do it a doozy of a flare serves as a reality check. Ooh......another R.

R - Here we go. Reality check. Like I said.....just when I think I can disregard my body and run headlong into another idea, a flare comes along and slaps me and says...."not so fast..."

R - is for rebellious. Yes, I'm a rebel. Just look back at the other words. I try to live in a way that is kind to my body but every now and then I say.....eff it and push myself. I need to keep saying..."if you push you will pay." I cannot forget this because it is true.

R - is for relax. I need to do this more often. It's not in my nature to live on the comatose side of life but I push too much. If we just close our eyes....shut out the will help our pain. When life's challenges come at us: just relax.

R - is for recognize. Listen to your body and recognize what it's trying to tell you. I know that my flares usually start in my hands. I'll start rubbing them and then, before I know it, the old familiar ache starts to spread throughout my body. It's also very important to write symptoms and feelings down for your doctor. I hope you have one that listens to you.

R - is for reminders. When the fog hits and you don't know why you walked into a room it's helpful to have little reminders around. I make lists and lists in my phone. I have all my appointments in the calendar. What screws me up is that I forget to look at my phone.

R - is for those restless nights. Even though we have fatigue, we don't get enough restorative sleep. Thank goodness for my iPad. I don't know what I'd do without it. To try to get to sleep, I spray lavender on my pillow and I use melatonin tabs called Mid Nites. I know there's medication to help sleep but I take muscle relaxers and pain medication. I'm afraid to take a sleeping pill on top of that. 

R - is for responsible. Remember that all medications are powerful and we need to be responsible with them. That means responsible in taking them and responsible in where we keep them. If you have others in the house with you take care who has access to them. 

R - is for relatives. My hope is that they recognize what is happening to you and don't make you feel like your faking it or being lazy. Fibromyalgia is real. It's tough enough to deal with the symptoms of this illness without friends or relatives making it worse. If you have people in your life that don't believe you, get to a support group. Reach will help you. None of us can go through this alone.

R - is for realization. Fibromyalgia isn't going away and right now there is no cure. We need to learn management tools so that we don't get overwhelmed. Fortunately, there is a research going on out there that may help point to a cause. 

R - is for renewed. I may not get enough sleep but each day I wake up feeling a sense of renewal. I know that life could be a whole lot worse so I try to be grateful for each day. Gratitude and laughter go a long way.

R - is for rewarding. Thank you so much for reading my blog and commenting. All of you have truly given my life a direction that has so much meaning. It truly is one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. 

and lastly.....

R - is for ridiculous. 

Reduce it down to the ridiculous and find something to laugh about each and every day.  

Find joy and happiness and love. 

Sometimes the pain makes it very difficult but find it......

in spite of the pain.

Friday, March 7, 2014


Here we are to the letter B.
If you were to ask anyone to name a trait....
and it's not brilliant.....

B - definitely have to start with bitchiness. When I am exhausted and the pain has moved in and taken up permanent residence, I tend to get a tad bitchy. It starts out with being snappy and as the day progresses it can definitely move into the bitch range.

B - feeling like you are bound by pain. I have to remember that this too shall pass. I have two pain levels: manageable and voodoo. The other words in this category are Bad, Bone-tired and Beaten down.

B - is feeling betrayed by your own body. Every time a bizarre symptom rears its ugly head we wonder if it's something to do with Fibromyalgia or another body part is deciding to revolt.

B - is for the belligerent stance we take when a doctor gives us that "Fibromyalgia-isn't-real" look. If this look has been given to you.....find another doctor. This brings me to another word for doctors that either don't believe you or patronize you......Bogus.

B - is for keeping the emotions that are tied with chronic illness bottled up inside of you. This isn't good for you or anyone else for that matter. I have trouble in this area. I think when you're somewhat reserved opening up is difficult. That's why I was surprised how much I could open up in this blog and it was truly healing. If you have trouble in this area....get a journal and write. Trust helps.

B - Which brings me to balance. Life in general is easier when we find balance. It can take a bloody and bruised, bedraggled soul and bring it peace. Take time to be quiet and listen to that inner voice that is in there buried beneath the struggles of chronic illness.

B - is for beige. Beige is looked at as a flat, neutral color. We don't have to live life in beige because of Fibromyalgia. Find joy in something and laugh every single day. 

We may not be able to run at full speed and we may be tired and hurting. There are lots of challenges that we face every day because of this, however.......


In all things we are blessed.

Baggy sweats or pajamas still feel really good........

We can still walk barefoot and feel the cool grass under our feet...

A glorious sunrise or sunset is still breathtaking.

And even though we look in the mirror and see pain....we are still beautiful

and maybe, just maybe.....

in the midst of pain we can find purpose and bliss.

Sunday, March 2, 2014


The Fibromyalgia Series, Part I.
OK....some of my traits don't change.
Fibro or no Fibro....
I tend to be Impatient.

I - well, let's start with that lovely word impatient. There are times that I live in denial so when I decide I am not going to let my symptoms get in my way; then I am impatient. I'm impatient to get moving and to do anything I can whether I'm up for it or not. Yes, I do pay for that impatience. I didn't say I was the brightest candle in the box when I try stupid things. I was going to say very, very impatient but, then I thought, either you're impatient or you're not. So there you go. 

I - absolutely has to stand for invisible Illness. We can look like we feel fine to the untrained eye. Only those people close to me can see when my mouth is smiling but my eyes aren't. We still struggle with the invisibility issue. On one hand, it doesn't give credibility to the fact that our bodies are in a great deal of pain and that we struggle with so many issues and symptoms. On the other hand, that invisibility can shield us from that very credibility issue. Unless we want to come out of the shadows, we can hide there.

I - then a lot of us deal with Insomnia. Either we cannot get to sleep or we fall asleep quickly but don't stay asleep. That's the part I deal with....the lovely alpha wave intrusion. Those pesky alpha waves that love to pop in just when I'm about to go into a refreshing deep sleep.

I - is also for the inconsistency of my symptoms. Every day can bring a different issue and when compounded by stress or even the weather...well, it's a symptom free for all.

I - is also for the inconvenience these symptoms bring to our lives and the lives of our friends and family.  When we try to plan something (I know....I know) something will invariably rear its ugly little head and shred those plans into oblivion.

I - is for the struggle we face with isolation. Chronic pain tends to do that. After all, who wants to be out and about when you're tired and in pain? This is one area that we really do have to fight. It's not good to be alone. We have to reach out whether it's friends online or a support group. If friends and family don't understand this illness there is help out there.

I - is for issues. We all have them and chronic illness can compound them. None of us are alone in this fight. Some of the nicest people that I can call my friends are those that I've never met face to face but truly get this illness and would be there for me if I need someone to talk to and vent.

I - is for just feeling icky.

I - is for the imagination we use to manage our symptoms. 

I - is for irritable. 

Hey, being really tired and in pain tends to make one a tad snippy. 

I'm real good at this one. 

Especially first thing in the morning.

Especially before coffee.