NOW WHAT?

If there is one event that proves I'm not the same as I was, this is it. 

I was let go due to the fact that I could not achieve sales goals of 2-3 homes a month in a community in North Las Vegas. It didn't seem to matter that the traffic through the door was, on average, 2 people a week.  All I was asked is, "what are YOU doing to bring more traffic in the door?" 

If I sound angry, I am. This has not been an optimum position. There has been game playing and they effectively prevented me from earning a living. I had to have friends call and ask for me to see where the leads were going; and, trust me, they weren't coming to me.

So now I have to find something else. 

Back to my original premise. This would have NEVER happened before. Pain takes an unbelievable toll on your body, your personality and your stamina. I've said it before, how do you build a relationship with people that come through the door when everything in you really doesn't care what they do. All you want is for the pain to stop. 

This isn't the business to play around with personality issues. Your personality is what makes you money in this business. When something tinkers with that you lose money and now I'm not only losing money, I'm losing jobs. I don't have the stamina to deal with everything I have to deal with in this position. To top it all off, I have some clown in insurance telling me that I have the luxury of scheduling my appointments to accommodate my infirmity.

What a crock.

I'm still in pain only now I don't have an income.

Great.

Just great.

THE INVISIBILITY CLOAK

Pain  makes me want to be invisible.


I've gotten pretty good at it too.

My invisibility takes many forms. It can be the cloak that I hide behind so that only certain people can see the real me. It can also be the cloak that not only hides but protects me from hurt and pain. I can envelope myself in my cloak and it feels comfortable. Sometimes I concentrate so much on invisibility that I forget how much help I can be to even just one person. 

The Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe, New Mexico. It's said that the sisters prayed a novena to St. Joseph (the patron saint of carpenters)  for a carpenter to come to them to build a staircase. On the final day of prayers a man arrived looking for work on a donkey with some tools. Months later the man disappeared without thanks and without payment for his work.

This isn't just a staircase. It's a staircase without any visible means of support.

Did I mention that the staircase was also built without nails? It also  has two 360 degree turns.

In this life where fame is worth more than character a man built a staircase, a beautiful work of art, with no thought to himself. He left without telling the sisters his name so that he could be remembered so that all future generations would bear witness to his labor of love. He built his magnum opus not for what the world could see, but what God could see. He's invisible but what he left behind isn't invisible.

Maybe that's where we need to focus. What the world can see is temporal but what is inside, however scarred, is God's work of art. Pain makes us think inward when we should be thinking outward.

I've always said things could be a lot worse. Chronic pain is just that. It hurts to move, it hurts to think, it hurts to get out of bed, it hurts to sit down, it hurts to stand up, it hurts to type, it hurts to hold hands, it hurts to get hugged, it hurts to walk, it hurts to run, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. However much it hurts it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as the person who is learning to take his first step again after a stroke or an accident. It doesn't hurt nearly as bad as a parent  who has lost a child and must take the painful steps to a grave site. It doesn't hurt nearly as bad as people that are so riddled with cancer that pain medication no longer helps and they pray for God to take them home.

So when I move toward my special form of invisibility, I will try to remember that it isn't as bad as it could be. When I start toward the reinvention of myself I will remember that it isn't what the world can see but what God is perfecting within me. We may not be able to see what He's done in this lifetime but we all have a legacy that will remain long after we're gone.

WHY NOT EMBEDA?

What to do about pain?

Is it because doctors are afraid of abuse that they allow people to remain in pain? If that is the case why not prescribe something that has a fail-safe method? 

Embeda,  FDA approved, is an extended relief pain killer that could be used for people with Fibromyalgia pain. Embeda (morphine sulfate and naltrexone hydrochloride) is designed to discourage abuse if the medication is chewed up, dissolved or crushed which is what happens when the medication is used to get high.

Inside the Embeda is a small capsule of naltrexone which breaks open and destroys the high if the pill is used recreationally as described above. When the pill is swallowed the naltrexone passes through the body and a small amount is absorbed.

That part is exceptionally interesting due to the fact that Fibromyalgia patients have found relief using small amounts of naltrexone. This drug has not been tested for Fibromyalgia patients but it sounds logical that if doctors are afraid of abuse this drug would limit a fair amount of it.

I'm adding a link to the article.


Embeda extended release for chronic pain

NEW YEAR

New years day.


A time for reflection.


A time for resolution.

I really do try to keep my resolutions. I really do. I guess I'm just not a resolute kind of person. I make lists of things to do but, for some reason, I tend to forget that I have a list. Then when I forget that, everything else goes out the window.  It must be the brain fog that continually plagues me . 

Maybe this year I can remember that I want to lose the 25 lbs. that also vex my very soul. If it isn't bad enough that my self esteem has gone down the toilet, lets add a few pounds around my a** that will top it all off.

The immediate gratification problem has got to stop. I am addicted to peanut butter m&m's. I look at them and realize that they will end up right where I don't want them too but I feel powerless to control the craving. My endocrinologist told me this would happen until I got my thyroid under control. Salt and sugar cravings are a signal of hypothyroidism. I just think I should be stronger but it's a powerful craving. I wish I could forget these little buttons of joy just like I forget my lists. Right now, it isn't happening.

Tomorrow starts the diet day.

Tip #1

DO NOT BUY THE CANDY. IF I DON'T HAVE THEM I WON'T EAT THEM.

TIPS FOR DEALING WITH PAIN

I have a few tips to deal with the pain of Fibromyalgia.


Tip #1


A heating pad works wonders for the pain.

Tip #2




A heating pad combined with pain medication works wonders.

Tip #3

If all else fails.

Maybe now I can get some sleep.