HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2015

Sometimes we forget.

Sometimes we just lose sight,

of what is important.

I'm thankful for the pain so when it ends I know the feeling of relief. I'm thankful for hunger so I know what it feels like to be full. I'm thankful for the tough times so I'll be grateful for the times of plenty. 

I'm thankful that I have a wonderful, beautiful daughter. She's the light of my life. I'm so proud of the woman that she's become. She's a accomplished woman who stands tall. I look at her and marvel that I had a hand in all of this. She's got a tender heart and loves with her whole heart. Her smile lights up the world. To top it all off I have a grandson. He calls me Meemaw and, yes, we are Big Bang Theory nuts. He is my moon pie because he is so num-num-nummy that I could just eat him up. 

I'm thankful for a wonderful extended family that are my daughter and son-in-laws friends who have welcomed me into their homes and their hearts. They love laughter and friends and dogs. It's so nice that their group of friends are all so wonderful. I'm thankful that my daughter has her best friend that is right beside her with children of her own and they can go on this magical ride of motherhood together.

I'm thankful for my best friend of 20+ years. It's the friend that we all need. It's a friend that will laugh and cry with you. A friend who'll have your back and cover your ass as well. (I know where all the bones are buried!)  It's a friend that will tell you the truth knowing that the truth may be painful. A friend that accepts your flaws, applauds your triumphs and cries with you when you're hurt. He's my friend that will always be there through thick and thin. We were brought together by a lingering ex-boyfriend and have stayed friends.

I'm thankful for Facebook. Before you laugh it's been the vehicle that has brought classmates from years past back into my life. We are all friends for life.

I'm thankful that my many annoyances with my health can be managed. I've had friends fighting for their lives with cancer. Some of them lost the fight.  Nothing can compare to chemo and radiation. You see the pain and the suffering. You see hair falling out in clumps. You see realization that even though their desire to fight is strong, they know they may lose the battle. I'm not minimizing Fibromyalgia but if this is the worst that I have to deal with in this life.....well, I'm fortunate. 

I'm thankful for my dog who continually reminds me how to  be content. He greets me with enthusiasm that goes through his whole body.  He knows he has everything he needs and sleeps contentedly with thoughts of snackers and babies running through his head. I'm thankful for Costco because without Costco chicken he wouldn't eat. (Well, we all know he would but I've spoiled him rotten.)

I'm thankful for a wonderful and loving God who doesn't give me all I pray for and yet gives me more than I need. I'm thankful that there is enough food and I'm mindful of those who are not as fortunate. 

So, on this Thanksgiving 2015,

find time to sit back and reflect,

and be thankful,

because no matter how bad it is,

it could always be worse.

God Bless you and your families.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Now, if I don't gain 10 lbs. by morning....

I would not be grateful for that!!!!

THE THANKSGIVING CONUNDRUM 2014

Well, I've done it again.

Just when I thought I wouldn't.

I just couldn't help myself.

Every year I say the same thing. I promise myself that I will NOT overdo it. Funny part is that I really believe it when I tell myself that I will take things slow and easy.

Right.

It's Thanksgiving Eve and I've spent the last two days getting my portion of the dinner prepared. 

And I hurt.

Like holy you-know-what.

I hesitate to say that the cold weather has set in. Cold......in the 50's. I know....I know....the rest of the country would love this weather! Still, it makes me hurt. I've been the tin man in search of an oil can. I know that I shouldn't say anything about the weather. Those in the midwest and the east would gladly trade places with me. 

I still say that a comfy bed is the way to go. You can do all sorts of things from there and I can attest to that! Grocery lists, ordering the delivery service, and hey, they can even cook the turkey. (You still have to have someone pick it up.) 

If you are of the I-can-do-it-myself persuasion try to keep the food prep reasonable. Just because it seems like it's not enough, trust me....it is. We will end up having enough food to feel a small country. Buster has been hanging around the kitchen waiting for the scraps to fall. He took off with one of the sweet potatoes! No! It is NOT A TOY!!! Well...that potato goes in the trash. The running around the house trying to get the sweet potato away from him didn't help and it certainly didn't help when I had to reach under the bed with a bacon strip to get him to relinquish the potato.

Great. 

I've started sucking down pain medication already......

Even though all of this is in fun, we should be thankful for what we do have. It truly could be a lot worse. This year I lost a fibro friend to multiple myeloma. It brought home how fragile this life is. As I stop for a moment to give thanks for my many blessings I will also remember to ask for comfort for those who have lost loved ones. 

So tomorrow it's off to the outlaws for our Thanksgiving dinner. I'm especially thankful that a comfy chair is waiting for me. Since it is a football day, I can wear those wonderful sweats. I had to remember to wear a team sweatshirt to feel legit. 

Last year I said that I had practiced my exhausted-from-cooking look?

This year?

I won't have to practice.

Still, we should be thankful for something. 

I'm thankful for my family and friends.

I'm thankful for all the blessings in my life.

And I'm thankful for you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

THE COMFY BED THANKSGIVING CONUNDRUM

The holidays are coming!
Like everyone who writes about chronic issues,
there are hints and tips about getting through the holidays.
So, in the spirit of the day,

I also have helpful hints, observations, and a peek into my day.

Here goes!

First....Make all your grocery lists from bed. Give the list to your kids, spouse or significant other. Send them to the store. Assign the side dishes to the rest of the group.

Stay in bed.

Well, the house needs to be cleaned..so....Put a roomba on the floor. Turn on the ceiling fan and watch the dust will rise to the ceiling. Look around and decide that it doesn't look too bad. Great!! 

Go back to bed.

Get on the phone to your local grocery. Most of the deli departments will make the turkey. Send someone down there to pay for it and make sure the store is open on Thanksgiving. It is? Great! If you're exhausted from making holiday arrangements roll over and put the pillow over your head.

Stay in bed.

It's the big day!! You'll need to get out of bed to get ready to greet guests. You definitely don't want to be stressed today. Since there's plenty of football on, just wear the sweats from your favorite team. This way you're game appropriate and in jammies at the same time! If you want to put on makeup start 5 hours ahead ... that should give you plenty of time. Shower and makeup done?

Get back in bed!

Have the turkey picked up or preferably delivered. This should be done a couple of hours before the guests arrive because the wonderful aroma from that glorious turkey needs to permeate the house.  Just an FYI....place the turkey in a roasting pan and throw the ones from the store in the garbage cans outside. It helps to practice your exhausted-from-cooking look in the mirror. It also helps if you throw a little flour around the kitchen. Hold the cannister tightly otherwise you'll have flour everywhere. I learned this one the hard way. Also, I didn't realize how much my dog Buster loved flour. Yay! It's a game!!! I chased after him and had to clean the little flour paw prints that were throughout the house. After you're done cleaning the flour off the counters and floors....be sure to shake the flour out of your hair too....

Go back to bed.

I don't have to set the table. Why? Because I keep dining room table set year round. This way I don't have to worry about it. Quick tip? Just wipe the dust that has accumulated around the edges of the table. Practice your smile. Oh.....you have an hour before guests arrive?Better not push it...

Go back to bed.

Yay!

Thanksgiving is here! The smells in the house are divine! Guests are arriving and bringing heavenly dishes for tasting! It's time to gather 'round the table grateful for each other and all blessings.....(Don't hold my hands too tight....that hurts!) I'm so thankful for my family and friends.......and my bed.

As we enjoy the glorious food and company, I've been reminded of the times of years past...I sigh wistfully.....or was that a snore? Damn.....I'm starting to go under from the tryptophan. It's the dreaded turkey coma! At least when dinner is over  I can curl up on the couch pretending to be interested in the game. Stay awake.....stay awake.....stay awake....

How many hours till I'm back in bed?

I rise from the table full with bones creaking and stiff. I've been sitting so long that the pain is making me dizzy. Or is that the wine? The couch is calling and the noise from the shouts of the lastest touchdown make my head hurt. Or is it the wine?  Maybe I should head back to the kitchen and help with the dishes. Really? It's all done?? Oh how wonderful!  I'm so thankful that everyone else has cleaned the kitchen! Where did all the time go?? Dishes are washed and glasses sparkling....The dining room table has been reset waiting for next year! Really? It's time to go already? You can't stay? Did I just totally zip on the day?? I don't remember.

So I shuffle back to the bedroom and climb in my comfy bed and cover myself with a nice warm comforter. It's been a long day and I'm ready to close my eyes in glorious slumber. 

Wrong.

Now, I can't sleep.

Happy Thanksgiving!

THANKS AND GIVING

Being thankful.

Attitude of gratitude.

Is it easy?

It's definitely not easy to pull yourself out of yourself and think of all the blessings that you have in your life. Chronic pain makes you withdraw..........it likes it that way. All it wants you to do is focus on your pain. The pain tells you that it's for self-protection and that it's for the best.

The pain lies.

Thanksgiving is a time for friends and family. It's a time for giving and it's a time to be grateful for what we do have and are able to do. No matter how bad we feel...well, it could always be worse. I know that I'm guilty of letting pain shift my focus inward. I mean, let's face it, if the only thing that I'm grateful for is that I'm not a turkey.........well, you get the idea.

I need to stop and think.

Sometimes it's volunteering, or listening. Sometimes it might just be a smile. Gratitude is infectious even for the most cynical. I went to a church service and people were speaking about what they were thankful for this year. I was sitting there half listening and a man took his turn at the microphone and said he was grateful that he had his son for 17 years because his son went home to be with the Lord. I was shaken out of my complacency. I couldn't believe the dignity and grace that this man had in the face of such tragedy. It's hard for me to even write the words. 

I can think of nothing worse.

So, I think I can look at "me" and be grateful. I don't mean that I'm playing Pollyanna or glossing over trials that can be faced in life. I just think we can still find blessings that we have all around us. Instead of my focus being negative (like it usually is) I need to find a way to be more positive. I know that I have to dig down real deep. 

Wait.........this is making me sound like an ungrateful brat. That's not it at all and that's not me at all. I do know that there are others hurting as much and much more than I am. So what to do? It's still difficult to give when you feel like you don't have anything left in you. I have friends that I've met through blogging and they are HURTING. 

It comes down to not only being grateful for what we do have but also giving to someone, ANYONE else. We need to move beyond ourselves. I realize that if I were to go to houses down the block and trade my problems for theirs I might just come to the conclusion that I don't have it so bad after all. 


I may not have a back and neck that are in the greatest condition and I may have an illness that doesn't have a conclusive beginning or end BUT, all in all, I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends. That, in itself, should keep me in an attitude of gratitude. 


I have a wonderful daughter and son-in-law.


That's the icing on the cake.


Cake??


Did someone say cake??


Oh yeah..........I did!!


Time for dessert and for that I am thankful!

ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

I don't mean to be Pollyanna.

There are many things to be thankful for.

For instance,

I can be glad I'm not a turkey.

I don't mean to be glib but there are times, many times, in the midst of chronic pain that it's hard to find something, anything, for which to be thankful. When you hurt, all you can think of is your pain. At this time of year when blessings are being numbered in our lives and the only thing you can find to be thankful for is that you're not a turkey: you're in a great deal of pain.

I went to a Fibromyalgia support group meeting last Thursday evening. I hadn't been to one in awhile and I've missed them. The reason I missed some of the meetings can be traced back to a lovely symptom called "the fog." In other words, I just forgot. Unless I have events input in my phone, I just don't remember them. I have to put everything, however inconsequential, in the calender otherwise I miss it. When I say inconsequential, I mean it. I have to remind myself to do even the most mundane of tasks. However, I digress. It was an interesting meeting and we talked and got to vent. Near the end of the meeting we were asked how Fibromyalgia has improved our lives.

Was this woman on drugs?

As we sat there stunned by the question, a light suddenly came on. In some way having a chronic illness has done something positive. For some, it was having much more compassion, for others it was finding more time to spend with the people they love, for the leader it was finding a sense of purpose and for me, I have begun blogging and through this medium, met some wonderful people.

As I think about it now, it is more than that for me. I have discovered a great deal about myself and tapped into a creative side that has been dormant for many years. I've said before that I'm not a real open individual. It has been difficult for me to open up, be vulnerable and communicate my feelings to others. Blogging has really been the start of an interesting journey for me. While I may not be able to articulate some of these things verbally, I have learned how to open up via the written word. I am so thankful for this and Fibromyalgia made this a reality for me.

It's amazing how God will close one door and another one will be opened to you. As I heard the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia I felt the world close in around me. It was almost suffocating. I was in control and self sufficient; now it was just the opposite. At that point in time I had no idea that just by writing a few simple words that I would soon be a blogging addict and that instead of having the feeling of the world closing in on me, I would feel a new found freedom.

It's not easy for me to have an attitude of gratitude. I don't mean to say that I'm ungrateful. Nothing could be further from the truth. That would be very rude and I'm just not that way. What I mean is that I'm naturally a cynic so being Pollyanna isn't easy for me. I have to dig down real, real deep to feel that way let alone feeling that way on a daily basis. The immediate is easy to be thankful for. It's the things that are less obvious that's hard. Does that make any sense?

I know that being positive keeps you less stressed. You live longer and enjoy better health, both mentally and physically. It also seems that optimists are more resilient and flexible. I must be both. I have a very cynical view of human nature, however, I do believe that everything will work out in the end. So what does that make me? An opti-pest?

So what am I thankful for? Mostly, I'm thankful for a loving God that has answered some of my prayers with no and yet gives me the things that I haven't asked for but yet knows that I need. I'm so thankful for my daughter and the rest of my family and friends. 

Everything else is just icing on the cake.

Mmmmm.....did I just say cake? 

Oh, wrong holiday.

This one has pie.

See?

I can be very thankful!

I GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

Forget the whining

Forget the crying

Forget the pain

I am blessed.

This latest flare has been a real doozy and when that happens I just tend to go into hiding. I didn't want to write and that was kind of scary to me. I can't imagine not having this lifeline to my Fibro sisters. The problem was the pain. The pain that is so intense that it consumes you.  All I want to do is put the covers over my head and just stay in bed. 

I don't want to talk to anyone.

I don't want to see anyone.

I don't want anyone to see me.

Yep. 

That is just what I do.

Until I started blogging.

I've got a wonderful bunch of friends that won't let me go into hiding. Isn't that the coolest thing? I mean, how wonderful it is to have people that you've never met face to face care about your well-being? It's hard to find one friend in this world let alone a whole bunch of them. How many people can say they've got a whole bunch of friends that they've never met?  That's what is so wonderful about friendship. You don't have to meet face to face, although it would be nice, but you can meet heart to heart. If there is one thing about Fibromyalgia that I can be thankful for it is for an amazing group of people that has come into my life.

I would bet that most of them write posts about themselves and their pain that BF (before Fibromyalgia) they would never before have divulged to the world at large. There's something about writing that opens your soul and you can pour out all the pain and hurt without fear. What that openness brings is like-minded people that can see you without the walls. I know, as far as I go, that would have never happened before. I'm not a real trusting person and it's amazing to me how much of myself I share with others in my blog. It makes me feel so much better when I open up my blog and find comments from my friends. It is so touching when they make sure that I'm okay. I can't tell you how much it means to me. 

I think that one day we should all go on a cruise. The Fabulous Fibro Cruise! We could all meet and have a few days to kick back and have fun.  I think they should have a huge room filled with comfy beds so we can just hang out and talk without being confined in our room. Wouldn't that be cool?

Anyway, I have to go to the in-laws tomorrow and my plan is to just float in the pool all day.  I can definitely move to do that! I hope you all have a wonderful independence day and please be safe. Thank you so much for all your care and concern and know that I care just as much about you and your well-being.

In my pain I have found my relief.

In my lack I have found abundance.

And it's all because of my friends.

Yep, I get by with a little help from my friends.

ALTERED STATES

Slightly skewed.

Maybe to the right a little bit.

It seems I live

in an altered state.

The one thing chronic pain tends to do is make you a little introspective. It gives you something else to think about besides your pain. 

Well, not really, we just trade thinking about one kind of pain for another. 

I thought my chronic pain would give me a chance to deal with issues and some of the baggage that I've carried around for years. I've even written that I've possessed some sort of clarity of thought in these times. I wanted to write through the depression and maybe, just maybe,  work out and figure out why I do what I do. 

What I didn't realize is that chronic pain doesn't give you a true clarity of vision. It skews your reality toward your pain. I'm not saying that you can't work out issues and problems but, for me, I had an awakening that showed me something a little bit different.

If you ever think you know yourself, just ask your friends to describe you. I tried a game from a post where you describe yourself using 25 adjectives. As I looked at the task last night, I was in a great deal of pain and it seemed almost overwhelming. Even though I wrote what I was feeling at the time, I was surprised when I got comments adding adjectives that seemed upbeat and spirited; totally unlike the dejection I felt when I wrote my list.

As I looked at it today, with the pain lessened to a manageable level, I would have written something a little bit different. Make no mistake; I'm still a cynic and I have a love of sarcasm but the list looked so down. Some of those things wouldn't change but I think I would have written more about a sense of fairness and justice. I would have written about my compassion for strays. I wouldn't have written so much about depression and fear. Those things are still there but today they're not as prevalent as they were yesterday.

I think we all go through the dark and I also don't think that's going to change for me anytime soon. Once pain became a part of my daily life, it stole a part of me. I just don't want it to keep stealing bits and pieces because one day that means it wins. I don't want it to win. There is too much that is light and good to let the pain keep me in a corner in the dark. 


I'm certain that my Type A status and perfection issues are not going to disappear. I'm just as certain that when the pain spikes I'll wear the melancholia cloak like it was tailored just for me. Fibromyalgia puts you on the roller coaster and doesn't let you off. That's just the way it is but thank heaven for the days where you can put things back into perspective.

I also realized, from the comments left for me, that I'm not the empty shell that I sometimes feel like but that there still are some of my finer qualities hidden underneath all that pain and fatigue. Sometimes it's just hard to find it and sometimes I don't want to find it. It's easier to pull the emotional cover over my head and let the pain take over.

That's why it's good to get a reality check from your friends. They keep us grounded and bring us up when we're down. That has been one of the greatest blessings of this blog; the friends that I've met.

Of course, sometimes we join each other down on the floor and just cry, whine, bitch and moan together.

That feels good too.

Isn't it supposed to??

TIPS FOR DEALING WITH PAIN

I have a few tips to deal with the pain of Fibromyalgia.


Tip #1


A heating pad works wonders for the pain.

Tip #2




A heating pad combined with pain medication works wonders.

Tip #3

If all else fails.

Maybe now I can get some sleep.