POSITIVELY POSITIVE

I always think 

before I speak.

If only I would do that before I act.

I've always been a thinker. I think before I speak; which is a good thing but I don't always think before I act, which is a bad thing. That little oversight has been at the crux of most of my issues. You would think that a thinker wouldn't have that problem. I analyze; over-analyze, over-analyze again and then beat it into the ground, kill it, bury it and then unfortunately, resurrect it and start the process all over again. It would be a plus if I did that before I decided to act. 

Sometimes, it's just plain ole' impulsivity. Sometimes, there is just not enough time. I've always thought that it's better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. Did I say I had problems? This is why.

As I research right brain and left brain function, I see a startling fact. First, meditation does grow the gray matter in your brain. I'm not saying you have to sit cross legged and say ohm but some sort of quiet time focusing on nothing but relaxing your body and getting your brain waves down to something lower than an beta level would be highly beneficial. Second, thinking does affect your body and will go in the direction of your thoughts. Remember, the power of positive thinking?

The beta level is most associated with our normal waking state. Beta helps with analysis, logical thinking and active attentive function. Stress can throw the beta level into overdrive. I am VERY familiar with the beta level in overdrive.

Positive thoughts increase the dopamine in your system. Conversely, negative thinking brings cortisol and other lovely things that are only intended for the flight or fight syndrome into your system. That syndrome is there to keep us alive. It's not there to be used on a continual basis or as a way to live. That impacts your body in a very unhealthy way. I'm very familiar with that also.

Negativity also obscures your thinking and stands between you and your realization. I heard this today and pondered on this for awhile. While I have talked myself into many, many things; having the ability to move beyond my fears isn't one of them. It would be interesting to find out how much I could really do if I didn't talk myself out of things due to fear or my inherently cynical way of thinking.

How do you take a natural cynic and turn that around into a positive force? I haven't figured that one out yet. I've got a litany of quotes regarding human nature:

                         No good deed goes unpunished.

                         Human nature will never fail me.

                         When you see the light at the end of the tunnel 
                         it's probably the train coming at full speed.

                         I expected times like this but I never thought 
                         they'd be so bad, so long or so frequent.

                         It's always darkest before it goes pitch black.

                         In the battle between you and the world, 
                         bet on the world.

See what I mean? The list is endless. How in the heck to you take something ingrained in your very being and turn it into a positive? 

So, lets sum up.

I need to be more positive.

I am positive that I'm a cynic......

or.....a realist.

It's like Vegas in the summer.

Hey.....it's a dry heat!

BOZO COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT BETTER

I don't think I need a byline for this.

It says it all.

I've encountered all sorts of attitudes from the medical profession since my diagnosis in 2009. Some of it has been welcomed and some of it skeptical but nothing compares to my doctor visit yesterday.

I had scheduled a wellness visit. It was time for my annual physical exam and blood work. It turned out that my regular physician was ill but another doctor in the clinic was available. Since I was there I didn't see the harm and said OK.

Big mistake.

We were going through my medications and he asked about the Zanaflex. It's used for the muscle spasms that I get at night. When I told him about them and the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia this clown looked me in the eye and said, "Well, I'm not going to write THAT down." I was absolutely stunned. I have never encountered such blatant disregard in my life. I told him that he most certainly would write that down and that he needed to go back to medical school. 

That got his attention.

I told him that whether he liked it or not Fibromyalgia is real and recognized. What is it with some people? Why the absolute stance that it isn't real? It just can't be that it can't be cured. This guy looked at me like I was an idiot. Where does this come from? The good thing is that I'm far enough along from my diagnosis to deal with a clown like this. What do people do who encounter this from the onset of symptoms? I could see, for the first time, what it's like to deal with this issue. 

It's wrong.

It's hurtful.

It's against their Hippocratic oath.

All I can say is this needs to stop. I am going to advise my doctor of this clowns attitude towards me and his refusal to write down all of my medical conditions. 

What an idiot.

I'm sure he has ancestor's that can be traced.

Probably back to the Salem witch trials.

BE OUTSTANDING IN YOUR FIELD

I still say it's important.

Be outstanding in your field.

People tell me all the time that my pictures show a real positive outlook on life. I smile and say thank you but, inside, I'm laughing my fanny off. 

Positive?

Me?

I guess in one sense I am. I actually do think that everything works out for the best in the end, however, getting to that point may be a little murky. So does that make me a optimist? I don't know. I do have a view of human nature and it isn't necessarily a positive one. I will tell you that I'm often wrong and it still surprises me.

Take the other day. I was at the gym and after I got off the treadmill I forgot a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses. I got all the way out to my car and then realized that I had forgotten them. I went back upstairs and they weren't on the treadmill. I was CERTAIN that someone had lifted them. My friend kept telling me to calm down and ask the front desk if anyone had turned them in. I, of course, was in over-reaction mode and told him emphatically that he was on drugs. They would DEFINITELY not be there.

They were there.

Maybe it comes from working with the public in new home sales for so many years. Don't get me wrong, I loved it and I made a lot of friends with the homeowners in the community. But for everyone wonderful homeowner there were 10 that made your life miserable. Is that the reason or do I just have snarkiness that runs through right to my soul?

Well, let's go through some of my favorite quotes:

"Weathering the storm is much easier if you're not standing knee deep in a conductor."

"When you see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's probably the train coming at you full speed."

"In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world."

"It's always darkest before it goes pitch black."

"It takes 43 muscles to smile and 17 to frown but none to sit there with a dumb look on your face."

So maybe I'm not a pessimist but I'll be the word cynic is appropriate. I know that negativity can obscure your thinking and stand between you and realization of your dreams. Actually, I think I'm positive in my cynicism. 

Does that make any sense?

Like I always say.

Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.