THE FUTURES SO BRIGHT I HAVE TO WEAR SHADES

I think the volume is turned up.
And I can't turn it down.
That doesn't happen when it's Pink Floyd.
Sensory overload.

When you have Fibromyalgia your body is sensitive to so many things. My senses seem to be on hyper drive.

But it's selective.

Scents like bread coming out of the oven, fresh flowers, even some perfumes that are vanilla based can transport me to euphoria. It seems that I can't get enough of the fragrance. On the other hand, my nose is very, very, sensitive to scents that I find.....shall we say......unpleasant? 

How about malodorous?

How about stinks?

When I worked in sales people would come through the sales office and I'd start spraying air freshener the minute they'd walk out the door. Body odor is one thing I cannot handle and my nose picks it up immediately. Friends have said that they don't smell anything but, me? I could be a bloodhound.  

Then there's taste.

If I don't like it...there is NO WAY that I'm going to eat or drink it. There have been medical tastes that call for drinking, well, crap is the only way I can describe it. The staff becomes impatient with me because it just won't happen. The icky taste almost becomes magnified. My mother used to have the same problem. She'd tell me that there were starving people in China and my response would be, "send it to them because I'm NOT GOING TO EAT IT."

Let's go to the light.

I'm part vampire.

I'm beginning to sound like a real fruitcake but it's true. I get practically blinded by the light. If I'm outdoors I have to wear sunglasses. Even when it's overcast I end up in shades. I don't get a headache from it.....I just start seeing spots. It's like having a huge flash bulb go off in front of my eyes. Boy, I really dated myself saying that didn't I???

Do I dare go to sound??

Turn on the radio.....

I LOVE MUSIC.....

All kinds of it. It has the power to soothe my soul. I can't even imagine a world without it. Classic music, country, rock and roll, pop, blues....even opera. It doesn't matter....just depends on my mood. I can put my headset in and rock. I can handle loud music if I love the song. If I don't? 

TURN DOWN THE FRICKING VOLUME!!

So what is this selective sensitivity? I have to take ear plugs to live events but I could listen to the same song on my headset and it can be loud. Background noise or loud sounds in a restaurant just bug the crap out of me.  A high frequency sound or nails on a chalkboard......sometimes even a loud television.

No go.

No way.

No how.

I think the biggest sensitivity that I have is heat intolerance. I can handle the cold much better than heat. The way I figure it .....I can pile on blankets and clothes but there's only so much I can take off. When it's hot, it's just plain hot and I can't handle it.

And I can get hot in an instant.

It's amazing. I live in Las Vegas......or FSD (fort stinking desert) and I have for 47 years. You'd think I'd be used to the heat. Nope. Not happening. I have fans going and the A/C cannot be over 75 degrees. If it is......I'm ready to stand in the freezer. I don't cool down quickly and I don't sweat. Basically, I just can't tolerate hot. Is this weird or what??

Plus, I get very bitchy when I'm hot.

Wait.

Is that all it takes??

I may have to rethink that.......

I'd probably have a lot of dissent!!

PUMP UP THE VOLUME

It's the fourth of July.

I love the fireworks.

But they hurt.

It's amazing how extensive the changes are to my body and I keep finding new changes all the time. Take, for example, the fourth of July. I love watching fireworks. 

Or at least I used to.

I heard some last night and it actually hurt my ears. How ridiculous is that? Whether I like it or not, that  too has changed. Now even the littlest bit of sound hurts my ears. Well, not exactly every loud sound. 

I can turn my iPhone music up loud in my headphones. That doesn't seem to bother me. It seems if I like the sound it's OK. Why is that? It's the same with smells also. I love the smell of lavender and vanilla. Bath and body has one called "sleep" that I spray on my pillows and it's yummy. Something unpleasant, however, just seems to set me off. Does this fall under the category of "I'm OK and maybe you're not OK?"

Nope, it falls under generalized hyper vigilance.

Basically, we have an amplification of external stimuli. Our bodies constantly remain on high alert. It can be loud sound, annoying repetitive sounds (like a car alarm) or it can just a mix of different sounds (like conversations at a restaurant) that can set us off. What is interesting is that sometimes it bothers us and sometimes it doesn't.

Just another lovely symptom that plays hide and seek.

Considering that our central nervous system overreacts to just about everything; why not this? Instead of our brain filtering out the unimportant stimuli it just reacts to everything that's incoming and is overwhelmed.

We're on sensory overload.

Here's a funny example. I'm usually pretty quiet in the morning and I don't like a lot of movement or conversation until I wake up (ask my daughter about that one..........). Taking dishes out of the dishwasher and hearing the clattering of the glasses and dishes will absolutely send me up a wall. 

Let's face it. Anything that the human body can be sensitive to......well, we're hyper sensitive to it. I've always been told that I had selective hearing. Oh, come on........don't we all? However, like I've always said......."when you have Fibromyalgia, all bets are off."

Let me get this straight.

My clothes hurt.

My weather hurts.

My body hurts.

My ears hurt.

My hands hurt.

My eyes hurt.

The heat hurts.

The cold hurts.

The humidity hurts.

OK...........

Now the dishes hurt????????

SEVEN INCHES FROM THE SUN

110 degrees.

Under the eaves.

In the shade.

I've never liked the heat and I like it even less now. You'd think that after 48 years in Las Vegas that I would get used to the desert heat.

Nope.

Not for a minute.

I didn't mind it as much when I was in the pool on a raft but with the onset of age and some common sense, I stopped baking in the sun. Then, when I was working, I spent a great deal of the day in the sales office. I only ventured outside when I couldn't talk anyone into not looking at their home site in the middle of the day. 

Since the thyroid regulates temperature is it still a by-product of the autoimmune issues I have with it? I take enough thyroid medication to keep it in the "normal" range but maybe it isn't enough. All I know is that the heat makes me feel awful.  At least I will be getting some of that natural Vitamin D. Did you catch the sarcasm of that last statement?

We're going to have excessive heat this week. I wasn't kidding about the 110 degrees. The official heat is measured at our airport under the eave in the shade. Really. In all actuality it will probably be 117 in the lower parts of the valley. This kind of heat is smothering. The temperature in the car can easily get to 140. You don't mess around with those kind of temperatures.

You have to plan any errands in the "cooler" part of the day. That means before 10 in the morning and after 7 at night. Even then I take a cooler with me to the store because a quick trip can mean frozen food can start to thaw. Sunglasses are a must if you have light sensitivity (which I do). 

So I'm hibernating this week and praying that the heat will break, otherwise, it's going to be a doozy of a summer. That doesn't take into account the amount of money I'll be donating to Nevada Power.

Gee, I can't wait.

So here I am wishing I was in Antarctica.

But.......

it's a dry heat.

IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN

Is it Fibromyalgia?

Or is it age?

I can't remember crap.

Damn.

Damn.

I used to have a VERY good memory. Actually it was better than very good. I used to call it my file cabinet and I could go to the appropriate drawer, pull the file, and go into total recall mode. With the advent of the computer age, I called it my internal hard drive.

My hard drive crashed.

Actually, I think the parts are still pretty good. 

It's the retrieval that sucks.


I hate running into people that I know and their face is so familiar but, for the life of me, I can't remember their names. I walk into rooms and wonder what the heck I was looking for and I really find it irritating when I misplace my keys and other lovely little objects. 


I'm one of those irritating people that like things in its place. I alphabetize my DVDs and the spices in my spice cabinet. Well, I used to. I just don't have the patience anymore. When I was younger I even had my own kind of Dewey Decimal System for my books. Record albums were in order and I was a total pain in the fanny.....even to myself. I told myself my obsession for organization made my life easier. It was tough to implement but after that..........well......life was easier.


It's always been easy for me to memorize......well.......anything. If I see a movie or TV show a couple of times I can recite it. It's the same with anything I see or read. Like I said, it's been easy for me. When I was in college I would show up at midterms and finals after cramming for 3 days before the test and memorizing the books. That's how I got through school. Later I would read contracts just for fun and after a couple of times I'd be able to recite those too. 


Then age shows up and along with it Fibromyalgia. Combine the two of those and sometimes I don't even recognize myself in the mirror. As I've said before, I loved to read anything and everything. Now? I find the back of cereal boxes challenging. I have to program my phones calendar with the smallest of tasks otherwise I won't remember them. So to compensate for my loss of brain cells  I've taken to calendars and lists. Without them I'd forget to pay my bills. 


Now, I have to pray that I remember to check the calendar.
At least it gives me a 50/50 chance.


It seems that when the fog hits my brain also gets overwhelmed by stimuli. I'm more sensitive to lights and noise as well. For some reason the noise in the stores bothers me. I wear my sunglasses when I go to the gym and walk.  Is it the pain causing some sort of distraction? Is it the fact that sleep is elusive? Or, can it be a neurological problem? I don't know what's worse, the pain or the brain fog. Basically, I'm on sensory overload.


So what to do?


The only thing I can do is laugh at myself when the fog rolls in. I thank heaven for smart phones and computers. When the brain is on overload I try not to fight it. When I drive by the exits on the freeway because I've forgotten to get off I enjoy the scenic route.


I can empathize with the scarecrow.


If I only had a brain...... I know that I miss mine very much.


Where did the yellow brick road go?

IF IT'S TOO LOUD YOU'RE TOO OLD

I used to say, "if it's too loud you're too old."

I used to say a lot of things.

When my daughter and I went to Phantom of the Opera I noticed that the noise of the casino was really getting to me. Plus, I didn't like the crowds of people. They were talking loudly and then there was the inevitable coughing and sneezing.

Great.

Now, I'm a germaphobe.

Funnily enough, I can turn my ipod up and it doesn't bother me, but, put me in a room of loud people and the noise really bothers me. I know that noise sensitivity is a marker for Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia. It's as if the brain goes on overload and the increase in pain almost causes widespread panic. I have to tell you, as much as I loved seeing Phantom, the volume in that room was another issue all together.

It's almost as if the volume settles in my spinal cord and works it's way up to the brain, all the while increasing in intensity. 

I noticed it as well in the gym today. It was noisier than usual. Fortunately, the walking path is on the perimeter so I'm away from it. As I got closer to the area with the treadmills it got louder and louder. This isn't anything new but today I noticed it more than ever.

Does the sensitivity to noise and light fluctuate in the same way that our symptoms do?

Studies have been done and the results showed that Fibromyalgia patients have an increased and exaggerated  response to noxious stimuli as compared to the control group. Another survey found that there could be an aggravation of the symptoms due to weather, noise, light and stress.

I'm used to a lot of stimuli. I used to study and read with the TV on or had music playing. Couple that with being interrupted with questions or comments. Hey, it was no big deal. Actually I found it difficult to have it real quiet. Now, all bets are off.

It sounds to me like we have a central nervous system issue involving sensory amplification and that amplification causes pain.

Does a magnesium deficiency cause the noise sensitivity or tinnitus? Would it help to take more magnesium?

I guess the only thing to do is to remove myself from the noise. 

Quiet is good.

I could be wrong.

Just sayin..........