THEY JUST KEEP COMING

I didn't sleep at all last night. 

At 5:00 a.m. I looked at the clock one last time and put a pillow over my head and closed my eyes. 

It didn't work.

I finally got up at 8:00 made some tea and turned on CNBC to see what the stock market was doing. I find it fascinating that these people are clueless as to the reason the job numbers are off. There's a rhythm to all things and the stock market is no different.

Circadian Rhythm

The human body has a circadian rhythm or internal body clock. My body clock has always worked best with a wake time between 8:30 and 10:00 and a sleep time between 1:00 and 2:00. What is amazing about body rhythms are the patterns of core body temperature, hormone production and cell regeneration and it's related to the light and dark cycles. Melatonin, which is absent during daylight hours starts production when the light becomes dim and the body winds down for sleep.This not only applies to human beings but to mammals, plants and all living things. Pretty neat, huh?

Alpha Wave Intrusion

One of the markers of Fibromyalgia is sleep disturbances. My particular issue is alpha wave intrusion. It's an intrusive brain wave pattern that interferes with deep sleep. Basically the alpha waves occur when the brain is fully awake. So these "awake" waves intrude into the sleep cycle. One of the problems in Fibromyalgia is that it isn't just a matter of a reduced deep sleep and increased non-REM sleep. The deep levels of sleep that eventually are reached don't last long enough to renew and refresh the body. The body doesn't get a chance to heal itself and when you do wake up you don't feel as if you slept; you're still tired and in pain. The severity of the pain that you feel during the day seems to correlate with the amount of sleep that you've gotten.

It's been a doozy of a day as far as pain is concerned.

There appears to be a correlation between pro-inflammatory cytokines and pain intensity.  These are immune cells that are activated in response to an injury, infection or inflammation in the body.  The bodies signaling of the activation of these cells may link trauma and infection to the chronic pain that plagues Fibromyalgia sufferers.

So as the storm approaches I know that the pain is on the upswing. I again promise myself that I won't wait until the last minute to take the medication so that I can get some pain relief. 

Can I sleep?

Only time will tell.

I can't wind my body clock, my rhythms are off and those lovely little cytokines are working overtime. 

Well, at least something is working.


I'm going to go chug some melatonin.

IT IS ALL IN THE MANAGEMENT

Finding your zen place is wonderful if you can do it but from a practical viewpoint how do you get through the day?

The fog is what drives me crazy. I've been used to and blessed with a really good memory. I used to quickly peruse through documents and then tell you what was in it and even recite a few lines. Verbatim. Now I look at them like they've been written in foreign languages. Now I have to read them two or three times to get the meaning to sink in.

Keep track of appointments in one place.

One of the greatest things I have is a calendar inside my phone. While I'm at appointments or if I'm making them, the information automatically is input in my phone. If I have to depend on little scraps of paper or appointment cards, I'm screwed. 


The added benefit is I don't get stressed by rushing to appointments that I didn't remember or knowing that I'm forgetting something very important.


Keep a symptom tracker.


I love writing. This blog not only serves as my zen place but my symptom tracker as well. If you keep track of your high's and lows on a daily basis it's easy to take this to your doctor. 


The added benefit is that I don't adopt the deer in the headlight look when the doctor asks how I've been feeling. They can't fix what they don't know and I can't rely on my imperfect memory anymore.




Listen to your body.


One of the hardest things for me to do is to make it "all about me." If it's time to rest the best thing to do is listen to what your body is trying to tell you. Get a massage, take a long bath, relax in bed and watch a movie and don't feel guilty about it.  If you feel good enough to take a walk go do it but don't do too much. The problem is that if you over-exert yourself you'll pay for it later. This starts a never-ending cycle of over-exertion and payback.  If you can't do something that needs to get done, find another way to do it. It will help your coping mechanisms and you feel like you've accomplished something.


The added benefit is that you will relax and let the stress drain out of your body. It helps your mind and it helps relieve your symptoms. 


Day by day.


That's what it is.


Or minute by minute if it gets really bad.

TIME, PAIN AND TENDERNESS

Didn't Michael Bolton sing this song??  



Knowledge is part of acceptance.

I think the part of dealing with any illness is to understand it. 

Pain and Tenderness.

For instance, I know that there needs to be pain and tenderness in at least 11 of the 18 trigger points in the body. The points are on both the left and the right side of the body and they are above and below the waist. The pain is considered chronic and widespread if it continues for at least three months. 

The interesting thing is that the pain can fluctuate from from day to day and even from hour to hour. It can appear out of nowhere and it can be due to changing weather conditions, stress levels and even from sleep deprivation.

Fatigue.

78% of Fibromyalgia sufferers experience debilitating fatigue. Is it from the persistent insomnia?  Some nights you constantly wake up. Some nights you just can seem to go to sleep. Even on the rare night you do sleep, you don't wake up refreshed. The lovely morning stiffness that you experience is something to behold. You're a robot when you first get out of bed, moving stiffly and awkwardly until your muscles decide they're going to give you a break and loosen up.

Tracking.

I think it's very important to track your symptoms, emotions, foods and anything else that might give you an idea of your body tolerances. It helps you get a handle on your new best friend. There is no cure so this will be with you a very long time. Fighting it doesn't do me any good. I'm not saying that I have given up; far from it. What I have done is accepted that this illness changes your life. I now have to look at myself from a management perspective. 

It's a lifestyle change and those changes come about by trial and error. Every person reacts differently so what works for me might not work for you. Just when you think you've got a handle on your symptoms, you find out you don't. 

I think the most important thing is to know your body and to accept the fact  that you have to pace yourself. You have to listen to your body. When it says you need to slow down; slow down. If you need to stay in bed; stay in bed. If it allows you to move about; take advantage of that but don't overdo it.

That won't happen.

THE MAGICAL WORLD OF NEW HOME SALES PART DEUX

I got a lot of response from my last entry. Some agreed and some wanted to know which company was the worst. I was really surprised by this. Evidently, I touched a nerve.

It sounded like I hated new home sales. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I just happen to think that because the market has turned customer service shouldn't. I happen to believe in basic business principles. I believe that employees should be treated with respect and I believe that when some people climb up the food chain they lose all memory of what it was like to sell homes in challenged communities and in challenging times.

I believe that sales and ethics should not be on opposite ends of the spectrum. I also believe that times like this show a persons true character. I believe that truth and sincerity will win out.

I sound like Little Mary Sunshine.

New home sales, even in the best of times, is incredibly challenging. To a buyer walking in the door it looks like we just have to smile, hand them a brochure and do a little paperwork. Try coordinating an entire community from start to finish. It's not as easy at it looks.  We are brilliant multi-taskers that keep statistics, prices, options, competition, knowledge, laws and buyers in our head. We can draw upon that knowledge at a moments notice usually after being interrupted by phone calls, emails, buyers, superintendents, vendors and management. This is not the business for the mild or faint of heart.

It's addicting, difficult and you experience every emotion possible on a daily basis. It's a small community where most of the agents, at one time or another, have worked together. It gives you stories that you tell and re-tell.  It gives you more information than you want or need about buyers. It makes you crazy, tired, exasperated and irritated. It gives you joy to know how much you've impacted a person or families life.  

It gives you life-long friends.

What it shouldn't give you is management that doesn't know how to treat employees. 

I got the privilege of being the chairperson on a committee for workload reduction. I got to hear grievances and suggestions that would make a company better. I've had the privilege of being a broker so that I could protect and supervise the licensees placed in my care. I know what it's like to stand in and for agents against liability and unfairness. Most agents would go to the ends of the earth for their employers and all they ask in return is to be treated and paid fairly. 

I don't think that is a whole lot to ask.

That's just my opinion. 

Am I right or wrong?

THE MAGICAL WORLD OF NEW HOME SALES

I've been in new home sales for years. 


Over 15 years to be exact.


It has been a journey. 


A very long journey.

I started in the real estate business in 1988 as a way to pass the time. My cousin called me and asked me if I wanted to go to real estate school with her. Of course, I said yes so it was off to school.  I passed the test and got ready to enter the world of high finance.

Entry into the world of real estate.

Toward the end of the course companies would come into the school and invite you to open houses and try to recruit you. I ruled out Century 21 because I didn't look good in the gold jackets.

Next was the Americana Group. I was alright with the fee's but they wanted me to refer my husband's building to a commercial agent. Now, why would I do that? It was my building and they were going to give me a referral fee? Nope. I was done with them!

So I signed on with a company where I felt comfortable. My ex-husband knew the broker and so I started. We got "floor time" and I couldn't wait to show homes. I got a prospect right away so I researched homes in their price range. New agents tend to go overboard and I was no different. I picked out 15 homes that would have worked for them. I made an appointment to show the homes. I was off and running!

The day from hell.

My former husband had given me a beautiful Cadillac and I picked up my prospects for a day of viewing homes. I was so excited to show homes and start in real estate! I was excited until they got in the car. They had two monsters that were put in my back seat. They got their sticky little hands all over my nice blue seats and screamed all the way to the homes. I showed a home that was vacant and the moment I opened the door, I knew I was in trouble. The previous owners must have had dogs that were allowed to use the carpet as their own private bathroom. It was September and still very warm so with the power off and the heat rising in the home, it smelled to high heaven. Believe it or not, this was the high point of the day.

By the time the day was over I was ready to kill the parents and I wanted to drop the little monsters at the first corner that I saw. All I wanted to do was GO HOME. I've never been big on people that let their kids do whatever they wanted without restraint. These people had pushed every button and gotten on the last nerve that I had. I dropped them off and drove home.  I collapsed into a chair and wondered whether this work concept was worth it.

The next morning (around 11:00)  I bounced back refreshed and with a great attitude called my new prospects fully expecting to write an offer on my first home. I was floored when they said they had called on a home that they saw that was for sale by owner and was buying it. You've GOT to be kidding me! Thanks but no thanks! I was pissed! They ran me all over town and then didn't buy anything? What kind of business was this? What had I gotten into? 

I walked right into the brokers office and said I wasn't going to make it in residential real estate and that I wanted to be transferred to the commercial office. He was kind and told me I was too new to be in the commercial office. I informed him that I'd learn it quickly and basically bullied my way in to an office with seasoned agents. I stayed in commercial real estate for the next 6 years. I loved it but life had other things in mind.

Life and career changes.

After I got divorced I realized I would have to subscribe to the "work to survive" concept. Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled but I had to figure out a plan for my life. What would I do in real estate? Commercial and land deals took a VERY long time to put together and if I wanted to support my family that would not work. 

The light bulb goes on.

I knew what I wanted to do! I would sell new homes!! Those people in the model homes JUST SAT THERE. They didn't do anything. They just handed out brochures and did nothing. New homes should be a piece of cake! Boy, did I have that wrong!  I was fortunate enough to be hired by a man who took pity on me and taught me the in's and outs of new homes. During those years the agents had to do the final walk on the home so when I did that with my first buyer she actually sat on the floor and cried. She was so happy to finally own a home and this was her first. I sat on the floor and cried with her. That's all it took and I was hooked. I'd found my niche and fell in love with new home sales.

The tide turns.

Years go by and I met wonderful people and worked at some great and some not-so-great companies. What I didn't bargain for is the abusive nature of new home sales and what builders do to their agents.

Some of the questions that are asked to see if the relationship is abusive are:

Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?

Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?

Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?

Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?

Does your relationship swing back and forth between emotional distance and being very close?

Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?

Are you afraid of your partner?

If you can answer yes to most of those questions.........BINGO!  Gee, ya think???

I think the agents that I've worked with could answer yes to most of those questions. One builder's vice-president of sales even had the audacity to tell me that the job came before God and family and he was serious.  Builders love you one minute and hate you the next. You are only as good as your last deal.  They keep you off balance and they have mind control techniques that could rival the Marines. We used to laugh about being in boot camp. They keep you down and hungry thinking that will help you sell more homes. They encourage cut-throat competition believing it's better for the bottom line. It's no wonder that a lot of the people I know got sick. The work load and stress level is beyond belief. The smiles that we wear when people walk through the door mask a great deal of pain.  When times are good the builders think you're an order taker and when times are bad they cut your pay because the margins "just aren't there." It's a tough business, make no mistake about that.

The tide turns again.

So now I have to figure out what I want to do in the world of real estate again. Walking the land and framed homes and putting up with builders egos and expectations are maybe just a little bit more than I can handle. I have no idea if I can do this again.

I'll give it to them. They've managed to kill off passion and love in favor of people to whom they can pay a small amount and turn quickly if they don't sell homes. They've taken the joy out of selling so now it's time to decide if I want to even try to go back.

Maybe it's time to be on the other side of the desk.

Wow........history really does repeat itself.