THE FIBROMYALGIA SERIES PART I

It's Fibromyalgia Awareness month.
Invisible?
Yes, we are.

I - is for Invisible Illness. We look fine so we can't be sick. It's those lovely little Lyrica commercials that make Fibromyalgia look like a pesky little bug that we can flick off our shoulder and, voila! Life goes back to normal. I don't know whether that commercial has helped us become more visible or it's hurt the cause.

I - is for isolation. Because we don't know what the day will bring we tend to feel isolated. Chronic pain brings it's own type of isolation as well. I know that I get tired of hearing the question, "how do you feel?" I can only imagine what the person asking the question must feel like. I dread giving the answer and I'm certain they dread hearing it. Again.

I - is for impatient. I get impatient with my body but I'm more impatient with my mind on the days that the "fog" has set in with a vengeance. My mirror is full of sticky note reminders. My phone has a calendar that has appointments and notes to self in there. Do I remember to look at either the mirror or the phone? I don't remember.

I - is for irritation. That above mentioned impatience also leads to irritation. Those appointments I forgot about? Well, as I'm looking for my keys to run to them, AT THE LAST MINUTE, that leads to being very irritated with myself that I can't remember to check the calendar to see what the day will bring. 

I - is for inarticulate. That lovely little fog that keeps me searching for words. That same fog that makes me lose my train of thought right in the middle of a sentence giving me that lovely, glowing, deer-in-the-headlight look.

I - is for intelligence. I used to have some.

I - is for individual. This same illness which plagues so many of us cannot be defined in the same way for every person. The same medication that works for me may not work for you. Which brings me back to physicians who need to treat you like an individual and not throw some antidepressants at you and show you the door.

I - is for illogical. The way my body reacts to anything anymore is just plain illogical. What the heck is this new symptom popping up? 

I - is for I. 

I am still invisible because I don't want to appear different than I used to be.

I am still strong.

I am still weak.

I am still me.

I am still chronic illness.