CHRONIC CASUALTIES

Why?

Societal pressure?

Weakness?

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Every day we have to fight a war. War against pain, war against fatigue, war against an invisible illness that most don't understand, war against indifferent doctors and war against pharmacies just trying to fill our prescriptions.

Why then do we turn the war on ourselves?

I've been to support meetings and read blogs and hear people talk about medication. Some even seem proud that they don't and haven't given in to prescription medication. That's good if it works for them but to make anyone else feel less than human for taking them is wrong. Using medication that you might become physically dependent upon isn't a sign of weakness. That is an unfortunate side effect of maybe feeling normal and productive. I know I am intensely aware of the fact that I am dependent upon them. 

Dependent not addicted.

We, however, err on the side of the addict.

Maybe we're trained to believe that it's greedy and selfish to want something for ourselves. All I know is every time I swallow a pill I feel weak. 

And that, my friends, is stupid.

If we are responsible and knowledgeable about the power of the pills, if we "follow the rules" then there shouldn't be any self-loathing about using narcotics or pills that help us get the restorative sleep we need or take away intense pain. When did it become the norm that suffering is noble? 

It isn't.

We can do so much more when pain isn't creating havoc in our bodies. If we can sleep then maybe, just maybe, we won't be as stiff and sore in the morning. If that happens maybe, just maybe, we can get the exercise that we need. Don't people get it? It's a vicious cycle. We need exercise but it just hurts too much to start. There are days that I'm at the gym with tears running down my face. 

I think we need to like ourselves a little bit more and not look at medication as weakness. There are a lot of therapies out there and every one of us need to tweak them for our own use.  I don't think we should feel bad if we use medication to feel better. Having said that, there is a fine line between believing the pill will keep us out of pain and knowing that it will never eradicate the pain. The difference between a tool and a crutch is huge.

We fight a war every single day.

And sometimes it feels like we should give up.

We can't.

And we shouldn't be one of the civilian casualties.