WHICH HIGHWAY AM I ON?

Ok.

I've heard it before.

I may be a tad opinionated.

A tad.

Where is the fine line that is forever blurred between feeling absolutely lazy and the laziness that depression absolutely brings? What is the difference between tenacity and stupidity and why can't I recognize the difference? Why do I long to control the wrong things and let the right things go? Where is the recognition of "this is very doable" and "I shouldn't touch this with a ten foot pole?" This is all very good except that I continually want to touch the things that I shouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

Let's try a 6" ruler.
That's the story of my life.

As I got older I started trying to see if I could be still and not constantly butt my head against the brick wall titled "things I cannot change." I've come to the conclusion that it does no good. There was a story, I think in Pulp Fiction, about the scorpion and the frog. I heard it from my best friend and we always refer to it and say, "you can't change someones nature." The scorpion wants to hitch a ride on the back of the frog across the stream. Frog says, "no, you'll sting me." The scorpion eventually reassures the frog that it won't happen so the frog relents. What happens? The scorpion stings the frog. When the frog asks why? The scorpion replies, "it's my nature."

There it is.

I think it's in my very DNA to fight city hall. 

It comes down to medical issues as well. I'm not one of those people that thinks the right diet cures everything. I do believe in modern medicine. While I like to use oils and supplements, I don't think they are the end-all, be-all of medicine. I have gotten advice to end thyroid medication and go on holistic supplements. While I think that's great for some, I also think that it's dangerous. Not every medication is a conspiracy of "big pharma." I think you have to weigh the risks and benefits but it's a conversation between you and a physician who's been trained; not between you and people on social media. Having said that, I've been prescribed all sorts of things that I'm not going to take. Steroids, antidepressants and statin drugs.....well, I'm just too afraid to take them. I know that if I have any adverse reaction whatsoever, well, I'm done. 

Do I think I know better than the doctor? 

No, I don't.

What I know is my personality.

So where is the middle ground?

Do I have any?

If history tells me anything.

No, I don't.