Saturday, May 26, 2012


I've just captured the crown.
"Miss Erable" 2012

It's been difficult to write lately. On several levels. Have you ever wanted to convey something but just couldn't find the words? Of course, we have Fibromyalgia. On the other hand, it gets tiring writing about hurting all the time. I'd love to write something uplifting but, right now, it's tough to lift my hands let alone my attitude.  

I've gone into hiding.

Hiding from pain. Hiding from the depression that pain seems to bring. Hiding to keep focus and hiding to try to get my life in order. I've said it in a number of prior posts. Ever since those wonderful epidural injections the pain has gone into hyper-drive and managing it is a full time job.

I will say this, I've tried to walk the straight and narrow. I have not stayed curled up in a fetal position even though that's precisely where I'd love to be. I continue to work out and, at the very least, walk at least four miles a day. It not only gives me the exercise I need but it also gives me time to reflect. I know I've said this before too; exercise does not help relieve my pain. What it does is keep my muscles moving but, for me, the pain is still in the background. 

Did I just say the pain is in the background?

Wrong. Let me rephrase. No matter what I do I am reminded that I am in constant pain. So, how do I deal with it more effectively without adding more medications to my ever-growing list of them? Should I try massage or acupuncture? I've become hesitant on both because it just hurts to be touched right now. Should I just tough it out? 

At least I have an outlet. Research seems to be what is holding it together for me. I've been reading interesting documents from Canada. It's probably the most comprehensive and accurate document that I've ever read concerning Fibromyalgia. I will include the link at the bottom of this post because I think everyone who has this or knows someone touched by this invisible disease should read it. 

So as I accept my crown for Miss Erable 2012,

I wish that I could be runner-up.

I take that back.

I wish I wasn't even in the competition.


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