KNITTING, STAINED GLASS AND PLANTING, OH MY!

I love hobbies.

I've tried many of them.

Just don't ask how many I still have.

I was told I need a hobby. Hobbies are good for therapy and they keep your hands busy. They're calming and can relieve stress. Lets see.........I think I'll start out with knitting. Good place to start. My cousin, who got me in and out of more trouble than I can think of, called me. "Hey, Rose, I'm starting a knitting class...want to go?"

Being the amiable person that I am I replied, "Sure."

OK, most people go to the class and purchase needles and yarn. No big deal, right? I got the bag, I got circular needles, I got two types of knitting needles and I bought angora yarn. I didn't want to knit a plain old sweater. I was going to knit a masterpiece. Mel and I decided we could start making sweaters and then selling them. Hey, I was ALL in for that one.

When I got home I showed my husband everything and told him how excited I was to start the class. He looked at me with a slightly raised and arched eyebrow and said,

"I'll give you $500.00 if you finish that sweater."

Well, I knew I had that 500 in the bag. I told him, "no problem." Let me ask you, do you think I EVER got that 500?

Let's move on to stained glass. I have to say one thing about my ex-husband. He may have been a lot of things but he was patient with me. When I told him I wanted to take a stained glass class he just looked at me and said okay and then walked away shaking his head. As I look back he was probably wondering how much this little adventure was going to cost him. If you read about the knitting you know the outcome. I still have some of the knives that I bought for that class. The glorious window remains a vision.

Probably my crowning glory is the garden. Now I love plants and flowers. I loved walking out in our yard and smelling all the jasmine and seeing the lush greenery. It was gorgeous. I can do the planting and the admiring. Maintenance, however, is a different story.

I bought bags AND BAGS of soil. I wanted beautiful little rows of tomatoes and onions. I wanted green peppers and rows of potatoes. With each row planted I would proudly tell my husband how much money we were going to save and how good it would be for us. God Bless Him, every time I mentioned it he just looked at me and walked away shaking his head.

We could have gone to Europe on what I spent on that fictitious garden. Do you think the veggies ever made it to the table? I'll bet you answered correctly.

My latest was beading. My girlfriend asked me to join her. I knew what was going to happen and I still went with her. I told her what was going to happen, and I STILL went with her. Yep, it did happen again. I am the proud owner of a beading bag and tons of beads and a bracelet that looks like a three year old did it.

After all this, I've come to the conclusion that hobbies are not my forte. I've also concluded that I am the idea man. I can visualize it, I can put it together. I'll direct the picture but someone else needs to do the physical work and maintenance. In the event I still want to attempt something creative, I should stick to solitary pursuits that don't involve ANYTHING artsy-craftsy. I tried scrapbooks and the pictures are still in one place but I have a TON of paper and materials to make the largest scrapbook in history. QVC has to love me. I just don't seem to learn.

After all of this my daughter calls me.

For the "outlaws" birthday we're going to a painting class.

"You in, Mom?"

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Maybe I should try biofeedback.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER

For all of this Joanna:

Forgive me.

It was just too good to pass up!

I was in big trouble. I knew it when I said I'd go to the presentation. This is my knitting class all over again. It was just a matter of how much damage I'd do.

To be fair about this, I love essential oils. I think that the essence of certain plants and herbs have definite medicinal and healing properties. I got hooked on this when I was in college and started reading about them. I like to combine holistic methods along with conventional medicine. I do believe that there is room for both.

Now one of the first rules of sales is that you keep your eye on the target and you don't let them out of your sight. I know this. I've trained this. What did I do? This wonderful lady offered to take me to the presentation and I said, "Sure." 

I was a dead duck.

When we walked in the home it was set up perfectly. All the oils were set out and there was a diffuser in the room spraying a lovely, peaceful scent. It was just like being in a spa. 

The next salvo was fired.

Then we start with the flip board and the evils of the pharmaceutical companies. I could see it coming. I could feel it. 

Then..............as she explained the properties of the oils and locking her eyes on mine, she slowly unscrewed the cap and held it out to me.

"Smell it," she said.

I was done.

All I wanted to know is how much and how fast I could get my hands on these little babies and just like that I was an owner. I won't say how much I spent but I will say that it is on the same level as the offer my former husband made me if I finished the sweater. There's an old phone room saying. You want to make them ask how many are in the box. When they do that......well, you know you've got them.

I not only asked how many were in the box, I asked how many boxes they had and how soon I could get them.

For a woman who made her living in sales I just wish I had a hundred of me walking through the door everyday. 

I not only took the bait, I put the hook in my mouth for her.

Anyone need oil???????

SOMETHING FUN TO DO

I know that I need something to do.

However.......

I'm not good at hobbies.

Let me explain.

I think I'm more of an idea man. I can see and visualize but when it comes to actually doing, well, that's a tough one. I have tried numerous times to find some sort of hobby that will occupy some of my time and give me some sort of satisfaction of seeing a project well done.

I realize that isn't going to happen.

Years ago my cousin called me and asked me if I wanted to take a knitting class with her. Of course I said I'd go. I had visions of beautifully knit sweaters and scarves. So, off to class I go. I'd never knitted anything before so I had to purchase yarn, needles ......you know, everything you'll need for the basic class.

Right.

I bought angora and tons of knitting needles and a gorgeous bag to put it all in. I went home bursting with pride and announcing how excited I was to start knitting sweaters. My cousin and I actually talked about knitting sweaters and selling them. I showed my husband everything that I'd bought and he just looked at me like I'd lost my mind.

He said, "I'll give you $500 if you finish that sweater."

Well, I knew I was going to win that bet.

I was absolutely certain of it!

Do you think I ever got that $500?

A couple of years later the creative bug struck me again and I decided that I was going to attend stained glass classes. Of course, I had to buy all the equipment and the glass. I even envisioned making stained glass side lights for our front door. My former husband just gave me a look that said, "how much is this going to cost me?" Well, needless to say, the window never got finished and I still have the knife that I bought.

I should have learned.

Another time, my girlfriend asked me to go to a beading class with her. She had several friends that were making absolutely gorgeous necklaces so I thought it would be a lot of fun. Plus, when I was thirteen I used to string love beads into necklaces so I thought it would be a cinch. I'll bet you can guess what happened. Yep, I bought beautiful beads and bags. I had a ball going through the store stocking up on beads like I was going to make tons of bracelets and necklaces. Well I have to say one thing about the project. I actually made a bracelet.

It looked like a three year old did it.

I have tons of scrap booking stuff that I bought on QVC. I have drooled over the Cricut infomercials. Thank heaven the equipment was out of my price range. I think I want to do something creative but I just don't have the knack or the patience. I'm just not an artsy person. 

I've even tried my hand at gardening.

I got on an organic kick and decided I was going to grow my own fruits and vegetables. I bought bags and bags of soil and envisioned a garden of fresh veggies that would not only have us eating healthier but save us money at the store. 

I could have gone to Europe on what it cost to plant a couple of rows of green peppers. 

So anytime anyone calls me and suggests a hobby I am going to tell them no. 

I think I've finally learned my lesson.

Or have I? 

I heard the cooking school is opening up for classes soon..............

Be afraid.

Be very afraid.