THE FOG IS ROLLING IN

I haven't been up to writing.

The weather has changed.

I don't know which direction to go.

I guess east is nice.

I went to the painting class last night and I had a great time. I didn't buy anything although I wanted to go back to this place A LOT.  I'm just glad there wasn't anything to buy otherwise I would have come home with a lot of paint and canvas.

Thank goodness for little miracles.

Having said that, it must be the fog or writers block or something. I have drafts started that I just couldn't complete. It's scary when you look up and have to open up the databanks and desperately search for the thought you were trying to process. It's scary when you look at a page of words and wonder if you can comprehend complex sentences ever again. It's scary when you walk into a room and can't remember why you went in there in the first place. 

It's very scary when you arrive at your destination and wonder how you got there. You wonder if the insomnia is shrinking your brain cells. Restorative sleep is hard to get with Fibromyalgia but it's that refreshing rest that helps manage the Fibro fog. I find that it helps to break up tasks or reading into small blocks. That way when the fog envelops your brain you don't give in to the stress of losing it. 

I didn't sleep at all last night. I finally got to sleep at 12:30 and by 2:00 I was up and unable to go back to sleep. I'd shut my eyes but it wasn't happening. It was alpha wave intrusion at it's finest. Finally at 6:00 a.m. I finally closed my eyes and woke up at 9:30.  I hate not being able to sleep. It causes so much more pain during the day.

What is prescribed as behavioral modifications for the treatment of insomnia doesn't seem to me to be particularly helpful to someone with Fibromyalgia. I understand what the intent is but for me it just wouldn't work. Actually, it would make it worse. For example, let's just take no TV, phone or computer while lying in bed. Ok, let me think about this. If I'm in a great deal of pain and I'm in bed that means I have nothing to distract me. All I will do is be in bed and have nothing to think about but the pain. 

Nope, that won't work. 

So, today I'm just going to take it easy and try to remember that "this too shall pass."

As I look outside.......

I see rain clouds.

Well, isn't that just great.

THE FIBROMYALGIA SERIES PART F

The Fibro series.

And, golly gee....

we're going to start with the letter "F."

Guess what that stands for??

Frick??

F is for Fibromyalgia that wants to suck the life out of you. It takes a vibrant, thriving person and turns them into something that is unrecognizable. I look in the mirror with wonder and say, "what the hell happened to me?" 

F is for the fog that turns a fairly intelligent person into a lump of jelly. There are times that I actually think an amoeba has a higher IQ than I do.  The fog has me looking for glasses and they're on top of my head. It's scrambling for the keys that are right in my hand. It has me standing in the middle of the grocery store wondering what I was supposed to buy.

F is for the fatigue that isn't relieved by sleep. It's the feeling that roadkill feels better than you do. It's going out to do simple errands and coming home feeling defeated because you haven't expended hardly any energy. 

F is for the fun that we miss. It seems that making plans is a thing of the past. If we do make plans there is always that caveat that "it depends on how the day progresses."  Sometimes I feel like I sit in the shadows because I don't want the focus to be on me. I used to have a lot of fun. Now, I don't.

F is for fat. I don't get as much hard exercise anymore so it's harder to lose weight. Even though I'm not, I feel like a big fat lump. 

F is for frustration. Everything about this illness frustrates me. Every single time I get dismissed by another doctor I get frustrated. When I get the look that tells me the word Fibromyalgia is a garbage can diagnosis, I get frustrated. I get frustrated when I can't think straight and I get frustrated when I don't feel good for days on end. 

F  is for force. There are the days that I finally say "screw it" and force myself to either work out or push myself beyond what my body decides I'm able to do. I do this periodically when I get tired of being tired.

F is for the fetal position that I find myself in after I get finished doing the above. 

F is for fearful. Every time a new symptom rears its ugly head I become fearful. I'm afraid of my own body because I can't trust it anymore.

F is for facade. I do this well because I don't want people to know how bad the pain is or not to appear weak. I hide behind this smiling facade and only those who know me well can see beyond it.

F is for faith. I have faith that it will all work out. It took awhile to get here. I've suffered through the confusion about my path and through the loss of my identity and income. Faith has brought me through so many things in my life and it has never failed me. I just have to search to find it and bring it front and center.

F is for forgiveness. I think that we need to forgive ourselves for being sick. We are so used to having control over our bodies and our lives that it's tough to navigate this thing called chronic illness.

F is for flares. Nuff said.

F can be for so many things,

feeling frail,

feeling feeble

feeling frightened

feeling forgetful

feeling fearful

feeling those fears are frivolous

feeling that finally life will never go forward.

But then,

F can ultimately stand for freedom because we can be free of fear.

F can also stand for fibromyalgia allowing us,in spite of everything, to fly and find ourselves.

What other F-words do you know??

ANOTHER MILE IN MY SHOES

When people say,

"I know how you feel"

or 

"I get tired too"

Give them my shoes for awhile.

How does your day start out? If it's anything like mine you're hobbling to the kitchen feeling like the tin man in bad need of an oil can.

I'm on a search for caffeine.

I need coffee and as bad as it is I have a diet coke chaser. I've tried giving it up cold turkey but I don't like plain water. I will say that I've cut the diet cokes WAAAAY DOWN but first thing in the morning....well, so far it ain't happenin'.

Then I slug down the medications that start the day. I take my thyroid medication, supplements and pain medication. This will get me through until noon. Fibromyalgia combined with hypothyroidism and a dose of autoimmune thyroiditis keeps you feeling like you're running on empty.  Energy is at a minimum and you're just bone tired. 

Tired isn't the right word and I can't think of one that adequately describes it.

As time goes on my patience level with this "syndrome" has dropped to a new low. We went to Hawaii and the beach is the place where I find my peace. I usually don't like to sit around doing nothing but put me on a beach and I'm one happy camper. Going there and dealing with the plane trip and the headaches of travel was something new to me. By the time I got to the beach the pain was horrible but I was determined to put it aside and feel the peace of the water. No matter what I did or how I distracted myself finding peace was difficult. 

I still felt like crapola that washed ashore.

People tell me how fortunate I am that I don't work anymore. I wish I felt fortunate. It really is tough to be in management mode on a continual basis.  At times, there is frustration but along with it comes the realization that life could be a lot worse. We can smile but that smile sometimes masks a great deal of pain. The smile also conveys a sense of well-being. Funny, isn't it? Well-being; that isn't even close to the real meaning of the word.

We manage a myriad of symptoms that change on a daily basis.

There are so many symptoms that plague us. We even ask ourselves.....is this the fibromyalgia or something else? I get tired of explaining that another ugly symptom has reared its ugly head. I am lucky in one respect. I've got an incredible doctor that describes himself as "nosy." He doesn't brush me off and he sincerely cares about how I feel. We try to rein in the beast but there is a tiny place that houses the fear that every twinge and twitch brings. 

Trust me, it costs a lot to be sick.

Insurance or not....fibromyalgia is expensive. The management isn't cheap and it seems like something is always out of whack. Now, it's my thyroid that is dealing me fits. The thyroiditis is flaring up and my internal thermostat is fluctuating like crazy. I can't sleep, my skin is dry and I get hot and cold. They found a nodule on my thyroid and I have to have that checked out.  What comes next?

The days of running around like I don't have a care are history.

Everything that used to be precious to me has faded into the background. I had boundless energy, thrived on stress that came with my job, working in sales and I had a memory that bordered on eidetic. There was a sense of pride in myself and my abilities that are a vague recollection. Sometimes I don't recognize the person I've become......the person that can't remember why she walked into the room. The fibro fog......it burns off but when it hits it's thick and it envelops your world in a cold and thick blanket.

Back to the symptoms.

Pain, fatigue, muscle spasms, insomnia, stiffness when you stay in one position too long, difficulty remembering or concentrating and numbness and tingling. Then there's the sensitivity to odors, light, chemicals, noise, medications and heat or cold. They symptoms that I mentioned are just the top ones. There are MANY MORE. These symptoms can intensify due to time of day, exertion, hormonal fluctuations or even the weather. Is it any wonder they can't get a handle on this? 

So here's what we feel like

and 

here's what we were.

and here's what we will be

It's Fibromyalgia awareness month.

Try to look past our smile.

We're trying our best.

There is no cure.

Sometimes we're not believed.

And that's just the good stuff.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Resolutions?

I don't do those well.

Resolutions have not been on the top of my list of completed items at the end of the year. Most of them have been thrown out the window before the first month of the year has passed. 

I think that a resolution, at least in my case, starts out with the best of intentions. I don't think I'm necessarily to blame. I think I choose the wrong resolutions.

So let's try for this year. 

I resolve: that I will be more accepting of me. I have an illness that has no cure. I will have bad days and good days and some fair days and, yes, I will have good days. I need to understand that there is absolutely nothing that I can do about that fact. What I can do is manage this to the best of my ability.

I resolve: that I will be a little kinder to me. When I have some of "those" days I will try not to beat myself up. I will not hate the fact, and myself, that I have limitations. 

I resolve: that I will try to check the attitude at the door when the pain feels overwhelming. I know this will be the toughest to achieve because it does tend to get the better of me. I know that if I just try to make my attitude a little better it might help get me through those tough days.

I resolve: to be a little more patient with myself. When I get frustrated from the fibro fog and my memory gets fuzzy I will remember that "this too shall pass." I will try to stop getting irritated. I will also quit bemoaning the fact that my fabulous memory is a thing of the past.

I resolve: to try to find the joy in my life. This is just a blip on the screen and it could be a lot worse. A whole lot worse. I am definitely not minimizing what we go through on a daily basis, but even on our worst days we need to find the strength to believe that life could be a lot worse.

So for the coming year........

For all my family, friends and followers.........

I wish you all the love, laughter, wonder, health, happiness and God's blessings.

Every minute,

Of every day........

Happy New Year.

GIVE ME AN F.... OK....ANOTHER F.

Give me a F.

Give me an .....

Oh, what the heck does it spell?

F.

is for the Fatigue that loves to hound my body when I've pushed it too far. It's always present in the morning because I never Feel rested. "F" is also for the Fun I used to have burning the candle at both ends. "F" is also for the Fog that is around whenever I can't remember the reason I walked into the room in the first place. "F" is also for the Frustration that I seem to feel every time I talk to a doctor about Fibromyalgia and they just don't seem to get it.

I.

is for the Irritability I feel when I just constantly feel Icky. "I" is also for the state of Invisibility which is where I live when people and doctors look at you with pure disdain when you say you've been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. 'I" is also for the use of Imagination when dealing with doctors and trying to get the medications needed to manage this illness. 

B.

is for the Bad days that seem to rear their ugly head just when you thought you were beginning to feel good. It's for feeling Bummed when another flare comes right after the one that left a few days ago. "B" is also for feeling Betrayed and Beaten down by your own body and feeling Baffled when another symptom pops up. 

R.

is for the Ridiculous way that some in the medical community refer to this illness.  It is for the way that most of us have to Re-invent ourselves due to the chaos that Fibromyalgia brings to our lives. It is also for the Realization that there is no cure and this is a life sentence. It is also for the Reminders that you have to leave yourself because you cannot Remember anything. 

O.

is for the Optimism that we cling to especially when pain spirals Out-of-control. It is also for people who are Obtuse and think that pain is a constant in your life by choice and not design. It is also for those Outstanding friends and family to come to your aid and love you no matter what. It's for feeling Obligated to keep going even though every bone in our bodies are crying for us to stop.

M.

is for Medical appointments and having doctors on speed dial. It is for the MRI'S and all the other tests you'll go through until you finally get a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. It's also for the Money that will fly out the window because all these tests and doctor appointments are very expensive. It's also for the Memory that will also fly out the window and you will be left wondering where your intelligence went. It's also for the Management skills you'll have trying to keep the Myriad of symptoms in check. 

Y.

is for the acceptance and Yielding to the fact that Fibromyalgia is here to stay. It is for feeling Yucky. It's also for the constant Yawning because of the fatigue. It's for the realization that this isn't a day or month thing, this is a Years thing. It's Yearning for a day without pain.

A.

is for the Absence of testing that can lead to a real diagnosis. It is also for the ability to Alleviate some of the severity of the symptoms with medication. It is for standing strong and Adamant that this is real and not in our imagination. It's for feeling Alienated.

L.

is for feeling Limited. It is for feeling Left-out when we have to miss events because of fatigue or pain. It's for feeling Lousy or Lifeless when we lay in bed all day. It's telling ourselves that we are Lazy, Lumpy and Lifeless when a flare comes along and knocks us off our feet.

G.

is for feeling like some of the seven dwarfs especially Grouchy, Gloomy and Grumpy. Yes, I did take license on some of those names! It's for feeling Grateful for the good days that we do have and it's for feeling Guilty when I do take the time to let my body recover in bed. It is also for Grieving for the life that I used to have.

I.

is for the Irritation that I feel when people say that if I'd just move around I'd feel better. Don't they think I'd do that if it worked? It's for feeling Isolated. It's for the Invisible disease because you don't look sick. It's also for the Impatience I have with myself.

A.

is for looking at the bright side because it could Always be worse. It's for being Aggravated and Agitated with ourselves and others. It's for being Absent-minded. It's for the Accusations that we're neurotic when pain and fatigue take over. It's also for being Appreciative friends and family.

I'm sure there are more words......

I can tell you what the F stands for....

But I can't write it on my blog.......

Ha....I know it stands for Fricking Fibromyalgia!!

What does it mean to you?

I LOVE TO DO LISTS

Yep.

This is my list.

I have accomplished just that.

The one thing that chronic illness changes is your whole life. I know that doesn't sound like it's just one thing, but, it's the easiest way to explain it. There isn't one facet of your life and the people that surround you that is not affected.

I get tired of doing nothing.

I used to think that retiring would be the coolest thing. I wouldn't have to get up and work anymore and I could do what I wanted to do. It sounds like a great thing but, in reality, it gets kind of boring.

How much TV can you watch??

Well, I can watch a lot. No problem there because I love movies. What I mean is that if you could have all you wanted of the yummiest dessert ever, non-stop, everyday.......you would soon get real sick of that dessert.

The other problem is that the weather is changing and I can feel it in every bone and muscle in my body. I just start to feel a little bit better and then it rains, or it gets cold OR I just feel like crap. It just doesn't seem to end.

I know I'm whining.

At least the summer weather is finally gone. I do much better when the weather is cool but the transition kills me. I love it when the thermometer hits the 70's. It feels so good. I've always said that you can always pile on sweaters and jackets but when it's hot.....well.....you can only strip down so far....and it's still just fricking hot.

So what else can I whine about?

Well, I still hate the fog that surrounds my brain.

I can't find my keys.

I can't remember the words I want to say.

I can't remember where I wanted to go.

I think I know where I want to go.

I think I'll just go to bed.

WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?

It's been an interesting month.

Plus, its my birthday.

Oh.....Hooray.
Get the party hats out now.

Summers in Las Vegas are especially trying. You'd think after living here for over 47 years that I'd be used to them.

Wrong.

I still hate the heat. I know for some the heat is welcome. Not for me. I do so much better when the weather is cold. Humidity is always a killer but the combination of heat and humidity just puts me under. 

It's been almost a month of that.

It's tough to sleep and the brain fog has been rearing its ugly head. I hate forgetting things. Although the pain is at the forefront of my symptoms, the brain fog is really disturbing. Mainly, because I had (notice I said "had") an exceptional memory. I could read something once and commit it to memory and recite it almost verbatim. We used to do party tricks with credit cards. I'd have a card flashed at me and then recite the numbers back to the holder of the card. (Boy, could that come in handy!!) Anyway, I can forget my own name but I can still remember my former husbands American Express number. 

3782-632231-52040 (It's OK......the card is gone and the number is no more)

The pain has been crazy lately and, like I said, the fog has been bothering me. Did I also mention that I'm turning 60 this month? Turning 60 (OMG) is really getting to me. I hear that I don't look it but that's not helping. I guess it's better than the alternative but the last ten years have gone by REAL FAST.  I don't even want to think about the next ten. I didn't have trouble with any of the years but this one is really bugging me. I know there's nothing I can do about it but..........I start to think about the next milestone year and that one is 70. Like I said, I'm not doing well with this birthday!

Let's face it....even if you have been blessed with some pretty good genes, there comes a point that you're not a kid anymore. My face may not look 60 but my body feels every bit of it. Truth be told, today it feels more like 90.  So, it's back to the pain and the fog.......will this humidity stop? Please?

My daughter and I were talking about this birthday. I really don't want a big deal because I just don't feel up to it. Interesting, ten years ago I was visiting her in Florida. I had just quit smoking because I promised her that I would quit when I turned 50. Thank goodness she held me to that promise! We were running around Orlando having a fabulous time.  I was working and didn't have too much to worry about in life. Boy, do I wish I could have a do-over..........

Amazing what can happen in a ten year period.

One little car accident .....

And with it........

Chaos and mayhem........

As I always say....It could have been worse.

I'm going back to the couch now...........

MORE THAN A FEELING

Am I more than this illness?

There are days I'm not sure.

This is one of them.

Who was I before chronic illness? I know there were definite parts of my personality that have disappeared. I try hard to separate the two because it has been so long that I'm not really sure how to do it anymore. 

So who am I?

I'm still a cynic. I don't think that part of me will ever go away and I wouldn't want it to. That part of me keeps fighting the doctors who want me to just slug down a few pills and go away. The cynic that hates the invisibility and yet embraces it. The cynic that questions every thing and every one. The cynic that continues to look at this mysterious illness and that knows something is missing. 

Well, funding and research is missing but then again, when won't a few hundreds help anything?

Talking about hundreds, I'm a great shopper. That part of me probably won't change either. There is something so comforting about shopping. I don't care whether it's a grocery store, vitamin store or Nordstroms. Well, let me take that back. I do care whether it's Nordstroms because aside from Costco that is my favorite store. I remember the shoe sales with such fondness. Their anniversary sale is my favorite time of year.

I really don't think you can have too many shoes.

Well, at least I didn't think that. I look in my closet and remember the good old days. Days when I could throw on real high heels and run in them. I look at shoes with high platforms and remember the 70's. Remember those shoes? History really does repeat itself. I look at jeans with tears in the knees and laugh. Just looking at some of the clothing is crazy. 


Let's go back to the cynic. My sense of "snark" would come out constantly but frustration still takes over. I didn't have a lot of patience with stupidity before..... let alone now. My own stupidity makes it even worse. I get very frustrated with the fog. I hate it that I have to reread almost everything to make sure I'm getting it right. Even then, I'm not sure that I am. 


I want to think of myself as the same healthy woman that ran around with 4 inch heels. I'm still a computer geek who rubs her hands when I've been too long on the computer. I'm still a photography, movie and music buff. I'm a reader that finds it's a little tough to remember what I've just read. Most of all, I've had a tough time accepting that this is chronic. There are days that I look in the mirror and "I get it" and there are days that I don't. I run hot and cold and I swing to both ends of the spectrum. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know who I am without Fibromyalgia. It sneaks into every part of my life. I don't try to let it but it does. 


Because the fatigue affects what I can or can't do for the day it has pushed its way in to my hobbies and career. Because the pain is ever-present on some level every day it has pushed its way in to the things that I love to do. For example, I found that Fibromyalgia had pushed its way into holiday cooking. I have paid for the desire to push past the pain and cook a holiday dinner. 


No matter what I say or do the pain and fatigue are the twins that want to accompany me in everything that I love to do or be. 


I can ignore them but like a two year old, the twins tug at my sleeves to let me know that they want attention.....AND THEY WANT IT NOW.


I just especially love it when the twins throw a doozy of a temper tantrum and refuse to stop until I give in and let them have their way.


So I'm still "me" with everything that I love to do with a healthy dose of Fibro thrown in for good measure.


Snarky, impatient, little old me.




**I forgot to add that this will be part of the blog carnival. Diana Lee at Somebody Heal Me graciously hosted this. Please stop by her blog and like her page on Facebook.

EVERYDAY HEALTH

The six strange signs of Fibromyalgia.

Wait.

There's only six???

I got contacted by Everyday Health and they asked if I'd share a post about the six strange signs of Fibromyalgia. Of all the weird symptoms we have, these seem to be the ones that really stand out. I've included the link and if you click on Everyday Health it will take you to the page on Fibromyalgia.

Of course we have pain and fatigue. I like to call them "the twins." Remember the twin girls in the movie The Shining? Well, if I have to put faces on pain and fatigue.......there they are. But, I digress. On to some of the weirder symptoms!

Sensitivity to Fragrance.

I always thought it was me. My nose will drive me crazy! I can pick up the slightest scent and it isn't always pleasant. I'd like to carry around a can of Febreze. I know this can also mean chemical sensitivity but, at least for me, it's mostly fragrance. I know the article mentions that gabapentin (Neurontin) can help with this but that's a whole other post. I have definite issues with this medication and I had to stop taking it. One of the things that really bothered me was the weight gain associated with this drug. I could make a whole post about my issues with weight gain but I'll leave that for another time.

I guess it falls under sensory overload.

The article talks about lipomas (fatty tumors), excessive sweating, the ever-present fog and a couple of others that seem fairly common. Except in my case.

The two that really get me (besides the fog) is Allodynia. Rubbing my shoulders can send me climbing up a wall. Even when I get massages I have to be very, very specific about the amount of pressure that my body can handle. To someone else it would seem like a very light touch but for me it's excruciating. Heightened sensitivity to touch? 

The article does talk about the help that sleep, exercise and stress relief therapy can help but so far, I still have a lot of trouble in this area.

This is a fascinating article and I'm really looking forward to going through the site and learning more about this mysterious, lovely little illness that we have.

So please visit Everyday Health and give them a look.

 I think you'll like the site.

Strange signs of Fibro?

Everything is strange.

Just depends on the day.

LIFE IN THE FAST LANE

I forgot the phrase.

If you play you will pay.

Today, I was reminded of that fact.

I had friends in town this week and I can feel every minute of it. On the one hand, it was wonderful to see friends that I've had for over forty years. Our high school class was rather unique. Even though we've gone our own way through life, a connection still remains. It's an easy camaraderie; and a knowledge that no how many miles separate us or how much times goes by, we can pick up a phone and we'd all be there for each other.


We went to dinner, lunches and on drives.
I'm exhausted.


I can't imagine living life in the fast lane again. As much as I'd like to be able to move at the speed of sound again, it just isn't happening. I felt like I was on overload. We took some pictures and I looked at myself happy and smiling. 


I felt like a fake.


I fell into the usual trap. When asked how I was feeling I just replied, "fine." Nothing could have been farther from the truth. I'd get in the shower and when the water hit me it felt like it was battering my body. I'd get dressed and the clothes hurt. I really tried to put everything aside and concentrate on how wonderful it was to be with them but it just didn't work. After I took one of them to the airport, I drove home and slithered like a boneless mass of jelly into my bed. 


I know that the exercise has helped me but combined with the hectic pace of the last few days, I was toast. 


Why is that?


Could the flare have been caused by the sudden intense stress that I felt when I realized that I forgot my ipad in the rental car?  The stress when I realized we had dropped it off over an hour before I missed it? Or by praying that I didn't get stopped by a police officer when I was driving 90 down the freeway? Or wanting to drop to my knees in gratitude when I found that the car hadn't been moved and the ipad was still in the front seat?


Can you believe I did that? Not only can I not move like I used to I still can't remember crap. I mean that's fine if it is a doctors appointment but when it's an ipad and your whole life is in that little thing.......well, it's not good at all.


So I'm in relaxation mode.


No, that's not correct.


I'm in slug mode.


And that feels pretty good.

CROSS MY HEART? NO.... MY HANDS

Now, I know it's easy to confuse myself.

I just didn't realize that it would be a good thing.

A very good thing.

For some reason the pain that I feel, when the Fibromyalgia really starts to flare, is in my hands. I can tell when it's going to get real bad because I start rubbing the joints at the base of my fingers. 

It starts as a dull ache and then it starts to throb.

I don't know why but it seems like I've been in almost a constant flare for the last few months. I've continued to go on but it it hasn't been easy. The humidity has been up slightly but when I've been this bad before the humidity has usually been higher. I'm not unduly stressed, so what is it?

It couldn't be the exercise could it?

Always before I would have used that as an excuse and opened up the fridge and buried myself in a cheesecake. Then, I'd quit.  Years ago I had a trainer that came to the house and I worked out with him for an hour three times a week. Even after that workout, we'd walk to Wendy's or we went to get cheesecake. It didn't matter because I weighed about 115. I have quit more gym memberships than I can count.

But that was before.

Now, I've made it a part of my life. Believe it or not, I actually enjoy it. Due to a failing thyroid and an autoimmune thyroid issue as well, my cholesterol was hard to control. When all this started going haywire all of a sudden, my weight was hard to manage as well. Throw in some icky medication that causes weight gain and I was a disaster in the making. After a couple of months of going to the gym I got my first set of blood tests. For the first time in a very long time, everything was in the normal range. To say I was beyond elated was an understatement. 

I suddenly got what I refused to believe all along.

Exercise really helps.

So, now I refuse to quit.

Well, back to the hands story. I was reading an article in the Daily Mail.  It seems that crossing your arms confuses your brain and its response to pain. It doesn't take much to confuse my brain anymore but when you cross your arms over your chest, the brain can't figure out where the pain is coming from in your body. 

Amazing, isn't it?

They did testing and found that peoples perception of pain was weaker when their arms were crossed. Part of the testing looked at how the body reacts to the signals of the brain on the right and left side of the body. If you put a glass of water to the right side of the body, most people will reach for it with their right hand. The same is true for the left side. It makes perfect sense to me. I know that the brain maps of the right and left side of your body and external space are linked together. If they are linked together, they are activated together and they react to painful stimuli together.  If you cross your arms over your chest these areas are now longer linked, at least, that's what the researchers found. By crossing your arms the response to sensory stimuli, including pain, is lessened. I think it's a fascinating study and could lead researchers to different therapies that could help chronic pain sufferers.

Now I have a legitimate reason for my brain to be confused.

As if I really needed an excuse................