THE WINE AND DINE DECOUPLING

I really had to laugh.

Fibromyalgia affects your love life?

Duh.

Is it cold in here?

I've been asked to go to dinner by Mr. Dreamboat. I just can't wait....I've been looking forward to this for so long. I just need to get out of my house! My heart just skips a beat thinking about it...oh wait....is that him or atrial fibrillation?

Anyway.....

The big day is here. I awake to the birds chirping just outside my window. As I open my eyes to the glorious sunshine, I shut them quickly because the light hurts my eyes and bury my head in the pillow. Ow. I moved too fast and the morning stiffness has set in. Like the tin man begging for an oil can fix, I make my way to the coffee maker. 

Great. I mean great! 

I'm really looking forward to it.

Just in case, I put fresh sheets on the bed. Now, I'm so exhausted that I have to lie down and take a short nap. I tell myself that this is good and I'll be nice and refreshed for the evening. I have a lovely lavender spray for the sheets but as the spray wafts through the air, I start sneezing uncontrollably. I'm sure the redness around my nose will go away by dinnertime.

Since dinner is around 7, I figure that I need to start getting ready for the evenings festivities around 3. This will give me plenty of time because it will take that long just to tie my shoes. Did I just say that? OMG, that won't work....I have to put on the torture device called heels tonight. I'll need another nap after I get out of the shower. 

Damn.

I shouldn't have put on makeup yet. Now, I need to fix my mascara again because it's under my eyes after my nap. Crap. I will have to start over. At least I kept my hair in a towel. OK, makeup is washed off and I start over. It's now around 5:30 and I haven't even dried my hair. I hate this part because I have to stretch my arms up to use the round brushes.

Did I really agree to go out to dinner?

I don't look too bad but I'm starting to hurt. 

The stiffness and pain has returned with a vengeance and all I want to do is get in bed. 

Oh, knock it off. 

Just start smiling.

I'm asked if I feel good enough to go.  I manage to say, "oh yeah," with just the slight curl of my lips which look more like a snarl than a smile.

By the time I limp to the car I feel like crap. I pretend to look out the window because if I say anything I might give it away. Once in the restaurant I look at all the happy people and wish I could take a time machine back to before all of this attacked my body. The room sounds loud and the waiter bumps into my shoulder as he approaches the table. That's all I needed. Nothing looks good on the menu but, like the trooper I am, I manage to listen to the waiter blather on about the chef specials. 

I WISH HE WOULD STOP SPEAKING.

I'm tired of the noise, I'm tired of looking at food that I really don't want and I'm tired of the waiter coming by every five minutes asking if I'm OK. 

What really scares me is the look on my honey's face. He's oblivious to the internal war I'm waging and I can just tell that he thinks the evening will last past dinner. He grabs my hands and the pain shoots up my shoulder. My eyes gave everything away. Plans after dinner??

Not only no.

But hell no.

I hurt from sitting in an uncomfortable chair making small talk that I am in no mood to make. We made it through dinner and I think he could tell by the way I flinched as he touched my shoulder that anything else he had in mind for the evening was going out the window.

Now, let's go back to the article. 

Who the heck wants to be caressed when every bone, muscle and fiber of your body is crying out. Even if it's a low pain day, it's AWAYS THERE and touch is difficult. Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue make terrible bed mates. 

If it doesn't hurt...

you're too tired to care.

You just need to read the survey.

CLICK HERE

I WANT TO GO BACK TO MAYBERRY

It's been quite a week.

I'm not just talking about the pain.

Both personally and in our nation.

First of all, what do you say about the shootings of innocent children in Connecticut? I cannot imagine what those parents and families are going through right now. Also, the survivors....what those children witnessed......it's horrific and there are no words that will comfort those parents. Their dear, dear children's lives were cut short and they must be inconsolable with pain and grief.

Also, I got word that a former co-worker passed away. She was young. She was 51 and didn't feel well. She took a nap and when they went to check on her.....well, it was already too late. Her daughter was her best friend and she's still quite young. She graduated high school in 2011 and was away at college. 

I've had to learn the lesson of mortality at an early age as well. I can tell you that isn't a lesson that should be learned early. It changes you. It gives you the feeling that all relationships are on shaky ground because they can disappear at a moments notice. Closeness becomes scary.

Then, to add a tiara to the week, with all these things happening, it's cold and raining. That means the pain has spiraled once again. 

If it isn't one thing it's another.

I'm not trying to minimize the happenings or compare them to the pain that has attacked my body once again. I'm just adding it to the list of events of the week. There is nothing that can compare to that kind of loss. Then compound that loss with the addition of senseless violence and what can be said?

I hate these kind of life lessons.

I hate the change that life lessons bring; the innocence of life that is lost and the realization that the people you love most can be taken away from you in the blink of an eye. Parents should never have to bury their children and little children should not know loss. They should be safe and secure in the knowledge that their parents will be there. Parents should not know the all-consuming grief and pain that their beautiful little sweethearts are gone.

What is wrong with this world?

What will inevitably happen is that the issue of gun control will come up again. It will be debated and debated but nothing ever seems to get done. I truly believe on the one hand that if guns are outlawed then only the outlaws will have guns. The war on alcohol during Prohibition, the war on drugs, the war on terror and now the war on guns.....to what end? They are all still alive and well despite the efforts to rid our world of them. I do believe that we need stricter laws and background checks before anyone can purchase them. I think online sales should be banned. I think certain types of guns should not be in the hand of private citizens. Military weapons are just that...military weapons. You need an assault rife to kill a deer??

I think it's our culture that is sick and in need of help.
You can ban all types of weapons but you just can't ban evil.

I think it's time we get rid of our culture of certain kinds of tolerance. You cannot teach children that everything they do wrong is someone elses fault or that something else is to blame. We need to bring back consequences for actions. We've become a society that doesn't want to hurt that little inner child. We equate discipline with abuse. When did it become acceptable for manners to go out the window? When did "please" and "thank-you" get deleted from our vocabulary? When did we decide that just because children grow up less fortunate they should be given a pass? We have done that in our educational system and look what the effect of that has been. I've seen what so-called high school graduates have learned and it's appalling. We need to crank our curriculum up about 7 notches so we can start raising children who will be capable of working in this global economy.

If I sound like I want to take our culture back about 40 years......well, I do and I don't. In some respects.....I do. I look at what children can see on TV during prime time and I honestly don't know how I'd answer the questions that would arise. The innocence that should be childhood has been wiped away. Growing up too soon is all over the news and it's "cool." Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?

I don't think I'm old fashioned. I'm not trying to be an old grandma but I see society heading in a direction that isn't good.....

Enough.....

I'm off my soapbox.

But...........

I hope that everyone hugs those they love a little tighter tonight.

DUE NORTH

Do things happen for a reason?

I've always wondered if things happen for a reason. Some people use destiny or fate as a reason why they shouldn't take their own steps but I've found that no matter what steps I choose to take, something always happens that puts life into perspective. 

I've been asked if I believed if there was a reason that we're born. I do believe that to be true. Take my story, for instance. Back in 1952 premature babies had a high death rate. Born between 26-29 weeks and weighing two pounds, survival wasn't a given. There was a high chance my lungs would not have developed to a point where they could sustain life and there was an even higher chance that I could have been blind. Instead, I beat the odds and was given to a couple in Omaha, Nebraska that wanted a small baby girl that fit in a shoe box.

My life also seemed to be full of coincidences. 

For example, I spent three months in an incubator and I was finally allowed to go home on the 17th of November. What are the odds that I would take my own daughter home from the hospital on November 17th? My original due date was October 20th; the same day as my son-in-law's birthday. 

Now, it seems that I'm coming to some sort of path that seems to have been preordained. I don't know where it will go but I have the feeling there is a definite reason for these two paths to cross. It's a little unsettling to look back and see how life leads you down certain roads. You can always change the path but can you change the outcome? 

I don't know.

Whether your experiences are good or bad there are life lessons to be learned. As unfortunate as it is our periods of growth come from these times or as I call it.........AFGO. (it's just Another F**king Growth Opportunity. The upside is that you can't appreciate something good if you'd never gone through something bad. Destiny is tricky and heady stuff. You can't read too much into it but you can't dismiss it either. When something good does happen you can't let it pass you by. You have to hold on with both hands and not let it go. 

All of this involves trust and that's never been my strong suit. It involves letting go and really believing that I can't control every aspect of my life; that there is a God in heaven that is guiding my steps. I can't just say I believe that, I really have to believe that.

It's like your compass is always pointing you...............

Due north.

BE OUTSTANDING IN YOUR FIELD

I still say it's important.

Be outstanding in your field.

People tell me all the time that my pictures show a real positive outlook on life. I smile and say thank you but, inside, I'm laughing my fanny off. 

Positive?

Me?

I guess in one sense I am. I actually do think that everything works out for the best in the end, however, getting to that point may be a little murky. So does that make me a optimist? I don't know. I do have a view of human nature and it isn't necessarily a positive one. I will tell you that I'm often wrong and it still surprises me.

Take the other day. I was at the gym and after I got off the treadmill I forgot a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses. I got all the way out to my car and then realized that I had forgotten them. I went back upstairs and they weren't on the treadmill. I was CERTAIN that someone had lifted them. My friend kept telling me to calm down and ask the front desk if anyone had turned them in. I, of course, was in over-reaction mode and told him emphatically that he was on drugs. They would DEFINITELY not be there.

They were there.

Maybe it comes from working with the public in new home sales for so many years. Don't get me wrong, I loved it and I made a lot of friends with the homeowners in the community. But for everyone wonderful homeowner there were 10 that made your life miserable. Is that the reason or do I just have snarkiness that runs through right to my soul?

Well, let's go through some of my favorite quotes:

"Weathering the storm is much easier if you're not standing knee deep in a conductor."

"When you see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's probably the train coming at you full speed."

"In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world."

"It's always darkest before it goes pitch black."

"It takes 43 muscles to smile and 17 to frown but none to sit there with a dumb look on your face."

So maybe I'm not a pessimist but I'll be the word cynic is appropriate. I know that negativity can obscure your thinking and stand between you and realization of your dreams. Actually, I think I'm positive in my cynicism. 

Does that make any sense?

Like I always say.

Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.

I NEED A DIFFERENT PURSE

It seems like I carry my world with me.

Figuratively speaking.

I was trying to find my keys. I had looked all over the house and my last hope was that I kept them in my purse. Now my purse is one of those large hobo bags that I love to carry. I've got so much stuff in that bag it probably hurts my neck and back to carry it. I swear I need traction after lifting it and I know that my shoulder doesn't need that kind of weight put on it. I think the reason I like large purses is because it's easy to find. Notice that I said, "the purse is easy to find." What's inside is a whole different story. I really need to go through it, however, because I found something that I haven't used in at least ten years.

I found a tampon.

You could have heard me laughing a mile away. I thought I found a stray lipstick until I pulled it out and looked at it in the light. Where in heavens name could that have been hiding? It was then I decided that I need a different purse. Thank goodness I looked at it before I started putting it up to my lips. That could have really been embarrassing! 

How much stuff do I really need to carry? Let's see, I have a make-up bag that I could use as a carry-on for a flight. My wallet alone weighs a couple of pounds. I've got receipts in there for the dog food I bought 2 years ago. I've found perfume samples, several pairs of eyeglasses and cases, sunglasses and a secondary wallet with all my discount cards. I've got several packages of gum because, heaven forbid, I should run out. I've got hand lotion and nail polish because I can never find a good color when I get my toes done.

Let's not even start on the medication that I always carry with me.

I'm guessing that my purse weighs about ten to twelve pounds if you count the phone and iPad.

I've tried to go smaller. I've cleaned out the makeup bag and then I'll forget to zip it up and the cosmetics will go everywhere. I've either forgotten to zip up the change compartment or I can't pull out my wallet fast enough so I'll just drop the change in. When I look inside it's like looking into a dark abyss to which there is no end in sight. Within moments of cleaning it out the dust of the ages seems to magically appear in the bottom of my purse. How does this happen? I've found tobacco even though I haven't smoked in YEARS. 

I have finally figured out that a purse is like making soup. I start out with a few veggies and then by the time I've added all the goodies I could feed the whole neighborhood. I have never been able to make soup for one or two. It always turns out as soup for 40. I've tried using a smaller pot but then I have to pour it all into a much larger stock pot.

My purse is put together like that pot of soup. It just keeps getting larger and larger even though I try to keep it simple.

It doesn't work.

I still have soup for forty.

I even put a flashlight on my key chain to help me find stuff in this huge bag.

Only I still can't find my keys.................

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?

What to do?

Should we hide under a rock?

I've been reading about the information from the World Health Organization about our cell phones and the radiation that's emitted from them can cause cancer. Didn't I just read that the WHO said cell phones were not carcinogenic? 

I think the problem is that we don't know what to believe.

It doesn't help that everywhere we look there is a different opinion, backpedaling or out and out lies just to buy a certain product. I mean, lets take the information that's out there about food. If we exclude eggs, peas, dairy, whey, bean sprouts, all beans, broccoli, cauliflower, bok choy, lentils, cabbage, kale, asparagus, onions, leeks, rutabagas, shallots, garlic, papaya, any dried fruit, coffee, bananas, avocados, honeydew melons, meat, poultry and fish we can cure Fibromyalgia. Now, lets go to the nightshades. Potatoes, tomatoes and peppers. 

Whew!

And let's not even talk about sugar.

I have listed foods from different sites that talk about Fibromyalgia and diet. It's amazing how many foods are on the "forbidden list."  Is there anything left to eat?  Great,  I can't eat and now I can't use my cell phone.

What's left?

I'm making light of all of this but there is a grain of truth to it all. We've become an over-processed, over-medicated, fast food, plastic and techno society. I find it disturbing that antibiotics and hormones are added to the grain that is used to feed our poultry and cattle. I find it VERY disturbing that genetically modified food is part of our food chain. How long have we had plastic bottles in our babies mouths only to find out that the BPA (bisphenol A) is dangerous? I would much rather eat organic or natural products that the over-processed and chemical filled foods that are out there. That sounds funny coming from someone who is a diet coke addict but it's true. I just think that there are choices out there and we should be aware of what we are putting in or on our bodies. I think labels should be truthful and I think knowledge is power.

I don't know what effect all of this has upon our lives. Progress has to take place. I wouldn't want to go back to a bygone era. I like my computers and iPhone too much. Unfortunately, I also believe all of this progress isn't good. However.............................

Am I willing to give up my cell phone? 

Probably not. 

There's one thing true about life.

None of us get out of it alive.

A NOTE TO OSAMA FROM MARK TWAIN

"I didn't go to the funeral.

But I sent a nice note saying

 I approved of it."

Mark Twain

I never intended to use this blog as a venue for any political stance. I'm pretty much middle of the road on issues. There are some issues that I lean toward the left and some I am definitely on the right. If we take the averages........that's where the middle of the road comes in.

I think that some issues transcend politics and the killing of Osama Bin Laden is one of those issues. It filled me with pride watching people gather outside the White House and singing the Star Spangled Banner. There has been a lot of division and this will serve, at least for a little while, to bring the nation together.

We've got so many diverse opinions and sometimes we state them very loudly. That's the cool thing about democracy. We are able to do this without fear of being arrested or killed. It's a freedom we sometimes take for granted. My dad came over from Russia after Czar Nicholas was killed. He never took his freedom granted, he put his hand over his heart when he heard the Pledge of Allegiance and he loved this country so much that he became a citizen. I will never forget when I came home from college and I'd sewn a flag on the back pocket of my jeans. Needless to say, I had to take it off. He thought it was very disrespectful. I can only imagine what he'd think of some of the things said on network news!

So now we've cut the head off one cockroach but, unfortunately, another will take it's place. I'm also afraid that we may need to be very vigilant because there might be some sort of retaliation by his followers. I'm just so glad that there is finally justice for the families that lost loved ones on September 11. I still shudder when I watch those planes go into the twin towers and the Pentagon. I feel the same way today as I did almost ten years ago. He will probably become a martyr but, to me, he's just a thug and a murderer.

Are we going to take bets on the virgins?

I think he and Adolph should be roommate's.


I hope it's real hot down there.

FAT FOR RESEARCH? OH BOY!

I just love research on chronic pain.
Now it's using your own fat.
I don't know about you.
But they can have ALL of mine.

I've never had a weight problem. Well, let me rephrase that. I never had a weight problem until I hit 50. I promised my daughter that I'd quit smoking and I started going through menopause. 

Need I say more?

Let me just say that I now understand how difficult it is to lose weight. I have struggled with it since and I've adjusted my eating accordingly, however, in the last couple of years it just doesn't matter what I do. The weight will just not come off. Growing up I was the one that my girlfriends hated. They could look at food and gain weight and me? I ate noodles with butter at midnight and never gained an ounce. I went away to school and instead of gaining the freshman 15, I lost it.

This sucks.

When I first got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia the doctor wanted to put me on Lyrica. Now, I'm one of those annoying people that refuse to follow doctor's orders. I want to research it first and then I'll decide if it will work for me. So, I googled Lyrica. No fricking way would I take that. The first side effect was weight gain. I've got enough trouble without adding to it. It's bad enough feeling like a stuffed sausage let alone having to be in pictures looking like one.

My self esteem was in the toilet anyway. I mean.........I don't want to look 20 again. Women that Botox and face lift  themselves until they become aliens.....well, it doesn't appeal to me. I don't mind a few wrinkles on my forehead or a couple of lines around my eyes. Truth be known, I actually like it. 

I figure I've earned them.

I love seeing pictures of the quintessential matriarch. The woman that looks stately and majestic. How wonderful! Every wrinkle and line show the joys and heartaches of her life. Every deep crag shows profound wisdom and every gnarled hand reaches down to comfort the next generation. We've seen those pictures and thought that age brought that woman through everything with dignity and grace. As I look in the mirror thinking about aging gracefully I never bargained for trading the swan like grace of my neck for the wonderful waddle of a turkey. 

That's enough to send me to the freezer for more Ben and Jerry's.

I still cry when I find another gray hair where there is NOT supposed to be one. I still pray that the hair I find on my face is a stray eyelash instead of the beginning of a mustache. And I still keep all my size 6 clothes in my closet praying that I will one day get into them.

I know there is not a perfect dress size. I know I shouldn't define myself by that number; but I do. I still sometimes think about the perfect dress size, the perfect abs, the perfect thighs and the perfect face. OK.......I am not putting the neck on that list.

There is the perfect neck and I miss mine desperately!

All of this came about because I saw an article about using our own body fat for stem cell therapy to treat chronic pain. Do you believe that one? One sentence and it sent me off on a tangent about body image. 

Obviously, it doesn't take much to bring me back full circle to the weight. 

Think I still have some perfection issues?

I know......I know.........it's all about the inside.

Yeah, right. 

HELP IS A FOUR LETTER WORD

Help.

It's just not for the Beatles anymore.

Why is it so easy to help others but so very difficult to ask for help ourselves? It's almost as if the very word "help" gets stuck in our throats and it's there.......it's there.........but were still not quite able to say the words. It's not just the words either. Doing for others is such a wonderful blessing. It lifts our spirits and gives meaning to our existence. 

Why then is it so difficult to accept?

Maybe it's the admission that we are not quite perfect. No one likes to admit they they don't have their lives quite in their control. Maybe the admission of needing help makes us feel weak and vulnerable. Maybe it's not the admission but the act of receiving. 

Does receiving make us feel not only weak but obligated? Or is it the imposition?

No one likes to impose on other peoples lives. Well, I shouldn't say no one. I know people that have no problem asking for anything. They can't do for themselves so they depend on other people's good will to survive. It's the ever-present drama that keeps them going. It's a drug in their veins and without it they feel meaningless. If life isn't high intensity or high drama then they feel the need to create it.

I just wouldn't want to be lumped into that category.

I guess we all sell ourselves short at times. The people I know, the friends and family, would probably drop everything to help me. They wouldn't find it an imposition, they would do it out of love.  Now I'm rambling but maybe it's the outpouring of unconditional love that's hard to accept. It's beautiful, amazing and very humbling. 

In real estate I used to break everything down to the ridiculous. Maybe that's what I'm doing here. If I break it down far enough I might be able to find the reason it's so difficult to accept help. 

So let's keep breaking it down.

Humbling. 

Accepting help is humbling so if that's the case then it's pride that keeps us from asking. We portray ourselves in a certain way. We all have this idea of our "image." Suddenly we find that image crumbling and there is a sense of shame that follows. Going to the great lengths that we do to maintain our own personal pride is counter productive to our health. 

Imposing. 

We don't want to inconvenience others so if that's the case we don't feel worthy to accept help from others.

So is that it? 

We have too much pride and don't feel worthy of the help?

There's an old saying. If you see a turtle on top of the fence post, you know he had some help. I think the idea is to look at help in a different manner. If help makes you feel weak then don't look at it like that.

We all need support to get where we are going in this life. Support is the pillow that we sink into at the end of the day. It gives us rest and it gives us comfort. Sometimes all the support in the world can't help us with the pain or discomfort we feel but what it can do is helps us through those times. The path that we walk on is filled with pain but the support that we receive from others can help buffer those times. We may feel out of control or weak. We may feel awkward. We may feel like an inconvenience. We may feel many things that don't fit well and feel uncomfortable.

But.

There is still one simple truth of this universe.

We can't get by without each other.

Think about it. We need others for the very physical aspects of our daily lives; our basic necessities like heat for our homes, the grocery store, gasoline.....everything we consume or need depends on other people. We need others for our emotional nurturing as well. When we came into this world we had love and comfort. We put such a high value on our own independence that we virtually trained ourselves to believe that support isn't necessary. 

When it comes right down to it I think the biggest reason we don't ask for help is because down deep we fear rejection. It comes down to rejection and vulnerability. What if we go through all of this and swallow our pride, ask for help and then we're told no.

Is it the "no" that is at the root of it all?

Maybe that's it.

We're afraid of no.

Great. 

Now I have really done it.

I've made myself afraid to raise my hand.

Hayzell at Possibilism.org is hosting the blog carnival and thanks to her for inviting me!

PITY PARTY FOR ONE

What goes better with Poor-pitiful me crackers?

Maybe a Port-Whine?

I've spent the last week feeling very sorry for myself. I suppose it's natural but I am so tired of fighting. Everything feels like it's being sucked down into this insurance denial vortex.  Now, I'm in one heck of a flare. 

Stress does not help this illness at all.

My advice?

Live in a bubble and stay away from it at all costs.

I used to take rejection very well. I was in a business that lived on it. The way I looked at it was that every "no" was one step closer to a "yes." That's the way it worked and the No's just rolled off my back. How could I do it with such ease then and with such pain now?

Why?

Because my future didn't depend on it.

That's why.

I have decided to just let my attorney deal with it. That's what he's getting paid to do so I'm going to take my little controlling hands out of it. That will lessen the load on that front. Now, I start the depositions for the car accident and that should be a whole lot of fun. I just hate them. I have to keep my emotions in check and answer questions from bozo's that couldn't find their way out of a paper bag. 

Okay, strike that. I'll be nice.

I have to get through this pity party and stand up again. 

I've never been one that accepts change well. It's weird. It's not the idea of changing. Everything evolves and I'm comfortable with that concept. Usually the people spouting how great change will be are the ones that want to institute change and it's usually to fit in with their agenda. That's the part I'm not crazy about. I'm more into logistics and looking into every possible scenario that could come up from moving that particular chess piece clear across the board. That is what gets me into trouble. I'm real good at looking at scenarios. Maybe it's my cynical way of looking at everything instead of being an optimist. Let me rephrase that. To me it's not cynicism, it's realism.

I think the problem also stems from the fact that change brings stress which brings me back full circle. Fibromyalgia, change and the stress that it brings to not belong in the mix together. It definitely does not do the body good. I just keep thinking back to the thought that all of this will build character. Yeah, right. You know the next line........I definitely have a lot of character.  

So now I have to just suck it up and leave the pity party.

Can I take at least one balloon with me?

I hate to leave empty-handed.

SKIN DEEP

What the heck is going on?

I'm speechless.

For me, that's saying quite a bit.

What has happened to courtesy? Common or otherwise?  It's been an amazing couple of days for me and the whipped cream with the cherry on top is the shooting of Congresswoman Giffords in Tuscon, Arizona.

Let me go back a day or so.

I got an email from a friend of mine who is working to help get research on the XMRV retrovirus. He suffers from Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia and has worked very hard to get funding for research. He happened to mention it on a forum and from that moment on his life has been a living hell. I have never read such vile attacks as those I read on a Chronic Fatigue forum by their members. What kind of people are these? As I wrote back to him, rabid attack dogs are kinder than those people. 

There is ABSOLUTELY no room in forums for people like this. Research is limited at best. Funding dollars haven't exactly been thrown at researchers for Chronic Fatigue/ME or Fibromyalgia. After reading what I read I wouldn't want to spend my dollars to help finding a cure for these people. It sounds like they'd still have a problem even if they didn't have this disease. I know I sound very, VERY harsh, but, I hate this kind of garbage. I hate injustice and their vile attacks on someone who is trying to do something good and to pay it forward is unwarranted.

Why can't people just say thank you?

Why can't we just agree to disagree?

Why can't we all just get along?

I sound like Rodney King.

I am on the more conservative side of the fence and I have many friends that tend to be on the more liberal side. Do we agree on every issue? No. Would I ever question their intentions? Absolutely not. 

I was raised to believe that I should treat people with kindness. Not everyone will respond in kind, however, that had no bearing on the way I should act or react, for that matter.  I was raised with class and dignity and will say right here and now that people that use this forum to say vile and hateful things are classless. 

There is a way to disagree with civility.

Things can get heated because issues that are near and dear to our hearts cause us to get quite passionate. That is understandable. To resort to rhetorical or physical violence is hard for me to fathom. What have we done as a society that caused us to bypass discipline when raising our children? What have we done as a society when accountability for our actions accuses us of being intolerant or not "politically correct?"

How do people justify their actions? What warped and twisted rationale is used to say that this is the appropriate way to voice their opinion?

I'm watching CNN and I'm appalled by the shooting of Congresswoman Giffords. Again, I will never understand actions like this. 

It's becoming acceptable to become verbally abusive and to write vile comments when we disagree. 

Physical violence has, sadly, become a part of our everyday lives. 

We only need to turn on the TV and be bombarded.

I pray for a society that doesn't know how to exercise control over our mouths or our actions.