EVEN THE CAFFEINE DOESN'T WORK

I feel like crap.
I need caffeine.
It started out bad.

It didn't get better as the day went on.

The prognosis isn't good for the rest of the evening.

Let me give you a little overview of the day. I don't know why I'm constantly surprised when I put my feet on the floor in the morning and my body feels like I've been beaten with a baseball bat. I'm used to the stiffness that doesn't go away until mid-morning; I can deal with that. What's difficult to deal with is the pain that has velcroed itself to my body and refuses to let up. So, as I hobble to the kitchen to make a concoction that kind of resembles coffee, I remember that I left my thyroid medication by the bed. I try to take it first thing in the morning because if I don't, I'll forget. So I hobble back to get the medication. Unfortunately, my dog has gotten up and he wants to be outdoors. So I turn around and as I walk on the lead weights that are my legs mouthing "ow" with every other breath, I put Buster outside and then start my trek back to the kitchen.

Crap.

I forgot the fricking medication AGAIN.

Screw it. I'll take it later.

I'll live to regret those words.

So I start my coffee (and I use the term loosely) and get the non-fat creamer, three Sweet and Low and sugar free chocolate syrup so that it will resemble light brown milk. My daughter visibly shudders when she watches me make coffee! Even the people at Starbucks can't believe what they hear when I order.  Did I mention that my hands also hurt? As I get the cream out of the refrigerator it slips out of my hands and suddenly, splat! Yep, I've got cream all over the floor. Fortunately, Buster comes in the kitchen looking like he hit the lottery and at this point I let him lick the mess up off the floor. Then I remember that he doesn't digest milk well, so I know I'll pay for this later if I let him continue. I give up and throw the whole roll of paper towels on the floor and wipe up the cream.  At this point, I don't even want the coffee anymore. I head back to the fridge and get a diet coke. I need the caffeine.

I figure I'll go to the gym. I don't know why I do it. Everything I read says I need the movement and that it will help with the pain. If anyone says that to me today my answer will be, "bite me." I'm wiped out after I walk and I come home and go to sleep.  Now let me explain the trip to the gym.

I get in the car and pull out of the garage. Then I look down and I pull back into the garage. I go inside and get my phone and the gym bag. I can't remember anything today! Okay, I'm ready to go now. I get ready to pull the car out of the garage again and ........no, I'm not. I have to take my pain medication otherwise I won't be able to walk. If I don't take it before I get there it won't kick in. Great. So I pull back in the garage, nearly forget to put the car in park, go inside and take the pain medication. I hobble back to the garage......

NOW I'm ready to go.

By the time I get to the gym I'm exhausted. I just want to go home and put the covers over my head. Maybe I just should have stayed in bed today. It isn't looking good so far but, I keep going and make to to the gym and walk. By the time I hit 3 miles I'm crying. Maybe I should just go home. 

I hate looking at women older than I am who are practically running. I am so envious of people that can walk without pain. As I walk I realize how much I took for granted. I took my health for granted, my body and my work for granted. I just wish I could go back a couple of years before the accident. It's very sobering and depressing to realize that you can NEVER go back.  But, I hobble on......

I get home and get back into bed and put the pillows around my head and that is where I have been all day and night. It's just one of those days where my mood has gotten worse with every passing hour. It's so frustrating to forget everything. I tried using the weekly pill dispenser but I forget to fill it and even when I do remember to fill it, I forget to use it. I even put it in my calendar on my phone but I forget to look at it. 

Maybe I should take a bath.

A couple of hours in the tub should shake off this mood.

Nope.

If I could sleep I'd say tomorrow will be a better day.

But I probably won't sleep either.

By the way, I forgot to take my thyroid medication today.

Did anyone get the license plate of that truck that hit me?

NOW BELLY DANCING HELPS FIBROMYALGIA?

A beautiful and graceful tribute to the belly dance.

This wouldn't be me.

Is there anything else they can find that will help Fibromyalgia? Now, belly dancing will help us??  First, let me say that the thought of me belly dancing sends me into fits of hysterics. Let's just say learning dance steps isn't my forte and grace isn't my middle name.

Heaven help me.

I guess a study in Brazil put women in dance groups and belly dancers were helped. 

When our muscles are immobile, let's say like after a night's sleep (what is that?) they are stiff and sore. After that,  ANY movement will help reduce the pain. The more immobile the muscles are the more they will hurt. 

It's kind of like the Tin Man and the oil can.

I've always said that exercise doesn't help my pain. I think I need to rephrase that. It helps but it doesn't take it away. The pain ALWAYS comes back. The movement does help my muscles move and it helps the muscle spasms, but,  it doesn't "cure what ails me."

I don't think we need more management help. 

We need causal and curative help.

That's why Tai Chi, yoga, Pilate's or, yes, even belly dancing helps with pain. It's a slow, rhythmic movement of the muscles. We all get that. I don't know anyone with Fibromyalgia who can't recite a litany of things that help them with pain. We've gone through tons of trial and error to find ANYTHING that will get us through another day. 

People can only take so much pain. We are tired of happy, smiling faces telling us that if we just take this magic pill or do this lovely little exercise all of our problems will be solved. No wonder we get to the point where we'd like to scratch that smile off of their face. You're probably just depressed. GEE, YA THINK?????? What is it about chronic pain? Don't they get it? Do they think it's just wincing slightly and rubbing a little shoulder muscle and then we can keep our mouths shut and go on about our day? Or how about sitting us in a rocking chair and keep us drugged enough to shut us up?

We smile through the pain enough. We are the masters of invisibility. We HATE the fact that this lovely thing called Fibromyalgia has the power to render us immobile. Living like this isn't our first choice.

Why can't they find out?

Why can't we get past the stigma of this "imaginary" disease and find out what causes it?

Nope.

We're back to belly dancing.

Trust me.

That's a visual you wouldn't want. 

ZIP A DEE DOO DAH

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

Then I'll use duct tape on your mouth.

I know that people try to be helpful. I also know that it's real tough to explain an illness that is invisible. So in the interest of our sanity and interaction that doesn't set us on edge......here goes.

What not to say.

There are articles about "what not to say." They are pretty thorough but I like to add a few comments as well.

1.  You don't look sick. No, I don't look sick. If I looked like I felt I would scare little children and most dogs. I know that to be sick I have to look sick but that's not the way it works. We try very hard to keep it together but thank you so much for reminding me that I have to look sick to be taken seriously.

2.  If you exercised, you'd feel better.  I think this is one of my favorites. I think it's especially attractive to crawl into the gym. It's also kind of fun to fall asleep on the treadmill and to feel like roadkill after mild exercise. Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that we can't crawl out of bed the next day because we're in so much pain from that glorious exercise that you are so kind to mention.

3.  Everybody gets tired.  Yes, they do, poor things. This is like someone pulling the plug on your energy reserves. We love being so bone weary that we can't move. Also, thank you for mentioning this one and reminding me that a lot of the medical community thinks we're either lazy or crazy. 

4.  You'd feel better if you had a better attitude.  Really? I thought I had a great attitude all things considered. If my attitude reflected how I felt inside it just might kill you.

5.  It can't be that bad.  Thank you Lyrica for making Fibromyalgia seem like a pesky little fly that you can flick off of your shoulder. In the same vein and the spirit of the previous comment I will just take a baseball bat and beat the crap out of your body and then tell me that it can't be that bad.

6.  I wish I didn't have to work and could nap all day.  Oh yes, we're little princesses lying about eating bon-bons all day. We love the fact that our career has gone down the toilet and along with that swirl of water in the toilet, our finances are going down the toilet as well.

7.  We all get aches and pains.  It's difficult to even write about this one. Again, people are sometimes under the impression that we feel like the aging grandparents in the movies. "Rheumatism." Just sit on a heating pad and in our rocking chairs. Yeah, right. Don't they get that sometimes just a simple touch will cause excruciating pain?  Maybe I should turn them into a voodoo doll.......would they get it then?

8.  Fibromyalgia isn't even real.  I wish it wasn't. I also just love it when doctors don't believe it. That would scare me because it tells me that they haven't kept up on the latest research. Plus, I'm almost positive that the FDA approves medicines for fictitious diseases. We're not whiners or neurotic so please don't add insult to injury or, in this case, stupidity.

9.  You should try to sleep at night.  We'd love to sleep. Even when we take medication there are times that we will wake up anyway. We are prevented from getting deep, restorative sleep so that our body can repair itself and wake up somewhat refreshed. We also love watching the minutes turn into hours in the middle of the night. Usually when we grab a magazine it's telling us the steps to get restful sleep. Don't even get me started on that one.

10.  Oh, come on......toughen up.  If you think Fibromyalgia is for sissies, think again. If you only knew how tough we really are.....

11.  It's all in your head.  Well, when we get this comment we can, at least, say it's a true statement. Yes, it is all in our heads. This is an illness of the central nervous system. Thank you, however, for saying it in a sarcastic and condescending manner. I, however, love shoving those words right back at you.

This is not an illness that an aspirin will fix. If it were that simple we'd all have stock in Bayer. We would also be chugging them down. Most of us hate what this has done to our lives and we look desperately for a way to reinvent ourselves and ways to feel better so we feel somewhat productive.

By the way,

We have tried every snake oil cure out there in hopes of feeling better.

But thanks for letting us know that eating different foods will cure Fibromyalgia.

Where's that duct tape??

RELIEF PLEASE

I've tried it all.

The pain is still there.

Erased by pain again.

I know I've made light of a lot of things. I do believe that laughter and humor can go a very long way in helping us cope with a very real and debilitating illness. Sorry, I should have said "syndrome" since Fibromyalgia is not an "illness." Lately, its been tough to reach down and find the humor. My coping mechanisms have been on overdrive lately and trying to find the words has been tough. Usually, I don't have a problem expressing ANYTHING. That's why this latest flare has been so rough.

I still attribute this to the perfect storm of events culminating with my lovely epidural injections. 

I will finally go back to the doctor tomorrow and he'll want to know how I coped. Trust me, I can't wait for this appointment. I will be telling him exactly what I've been feeling..... no thanks to him.

I have done everything. 

I've played by the rules.

I have been consistent. I go to the gym pain or no pain. I still say that exercise has had no effect on the level of pain that I experience on a daily basis. It may help me cope but it doesn't do anything to help the pain levels. Exercise is supposed to help restore the bodies neurochemical balance. It boosts endorphins. It is also supposed to desensitize the bodies reactions to stress. It does help me feel better about myself and it helps my emotional state of being but, again, it does nothing in regards to pain levels. 

More often than not I feel like roadkill when I leave the gym.

I had a friend of mine suggest that the pain might go away if I had a more positive outlook. I just love comments like that. I reminded them that this is not a psychological problem but thanks again for the support.

What is the trigger? 

In my case it was definitely the trauma of the accident that triggered the Fibromyalgia. Genetic predisposition my be a part of this but there is something we are all missing. There are low levels of chemicals that inhibit pain signals such as serotonin and norepinephrine and at the other end of the spectrum there are high levels of chemicals that cause pain signals such as Substance P and glutamate. So what causes the low and high levels?  There is definitely a change in the way the brain processes pain. 

Well, we have trouble with our dopamine levels also.

What triggers the levels?

I wish I knew the answer to that question. 

Oh, by the way, the weather has been all over the place as well.


High humidity and wind.


It just keeps getting better and better......

EQUILIBRIUM, SORT OF

Equilibrium.

The fine art of balance.

Between holding on and letting go.

I've spent the last few weeks in hell. Moving, boxing, purging, throwing, giving and realizing that there is just a time to let go. I've started going through the thousands of emails and realized how fortunate I am that I have so many friends that sent me such wonderful notes of encouragement. I can't wait to get back to them and let them know how much that meant. I went through days in a literal blur. I felt like I was swinging back and forth and the swings were long and deep.

Finally, it's all over.

I've moved in and feel like my life is back to somewhat normal. Well, let me rephrase that. I've never been normal but I'm back to being me again. You know what's weird? All those things that I couldn't live without.......I don't miss. In fact, I couldn't even tell you what's in that huge POD that I packed. I still have way too much crap and when I finally unpack it I will probably toss a ton more. 

So I'm starting to relax.

Somewhat.


I think I need to put consistency back in my life. I've been neglecting the gym and I need to start hitting it every morning. It may hurt to get on that treadmill but it does help. Not with the actual pain but it helps my self esteem and it definitely helps the way I look it my clothes. I find comfort in schedules and predictability so, maybe, if I bring it back into my life I will feel better. 


I do hate one thing.
The bathtub.


It is beyond me how there is even a bathtub in existence on the planet that is so shallow that it doesn't cover you with water. How pathetic!! Plus the water pressure is almost non-existent. I think the water flow gauge on the shower head will have to be rebuilt. Also, there is hard water and I hate it. So let me get this straight, I hate the tub, I hate the shower, I hate that there isn't a doggie door and I hate that I can hear every noise in this place.


Do I sound like a ungrateful princess?
Yes.


Let me tell you.....the bath is one of my few real pleasures. I love to read and take long soaks in the tub. I had a spa tub and I was in it every night. It won't happen in this tub. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.


Hey!


I am getting back to normal!!


Whine, bitch, moan and complain.........


Yep.........back to normal!


Cool!

MY ATTITUDE IS IN THE TOILET

Rain is coming and I can feel it.

When I'm in pain I have a very low tolerance level.

Very low.

Like in none.

I've always loved being in sales which is pretty funny because I have a real cynical view of human nature. I love being around people but I'm also not surprised when they go off the deep end or act like a two year old. My personality is pretty strong and my friends either appreciate that fact or are themselves real strong. I've never understood game playing or acting like a baby. My friends are wonderful; even those friends that I've never met face to face. There is a strength of will that is there even through those times where they are curled up in pain or at their weakest point. We may have a very low pain threshold but we most definitely do not have a low pain tolerance. 

I've always said that Fibromyalgia is not an illness for sissies.

The rain is coming and I can feel it. My hands are starting to throb and the aches are starting to build. What makes it worse is that I'm a little stressed and that doesn't help at all. I'm still trying to find my zen place but, now, I've got all these little annoyances around me. They're like pesky little flies that I want to swat. It falls under stupid little games that I didn't even play as a teenager. In one respect it's annoying and on the other it's laughable.

Anyway, back to feeling like cow plop.

I went to the holiday support group holiday luncheon and most of us are in the same boat. I started thinking. Light and sound sensitivity. Pain and fatigue. Is it seasonal or just that the cold weather has really started to set in? I wish this was a simple "syndrome" where an aspirin and a good nights sleep would fix what ails us. The flares are tough. Real tough.


I've learned that I have to live with only a certain amount of marbles in the jar. Every act and every stressful moment takes marbles out of the jar. I have to be careful of my reserves and be mindful of the acts that do that. Managing my life's physical and emotional needs takes a great amount of discipline. I need to take the fact that this is chronic; not only keep that fact in my head but in my heart. I really have to get it together.

Actually the pain is really starting to piss me off.

I guess I need to get a better attitude. If it really reflected the pain I feel right now the toilet would be a step up. I get really tired of having to take pain medication just to get to the fricking gym. I want to tell you that as much as they say that exercise helps the pain, I can say with absolute certainty that it doesn't. The only thing it's done is increase my endurance. OK.....the little side benefit of looking good in my clothes helps, but pain is pain. It hasn't gone away and I don't think it's going to.

Please don't tell me that I don't look sick. If I looked like I felt I'd scare dogs and little children. As far as the exercise goes, I've almost fallen asleep on the treadmill. I especially like the way I feel afterwards. I feel like roadkill. When people think that Fibromyalgia can't be that bad I'd like to tell them to give someone a baseball bat and have them beat the hell out of them every day and then tell me it can't be that bad.

It is what it is what it is.

I guess what I'm trying to say is,

that this is not the time to irritate me.

Patience has never been my long suit.

It certainly isn't now.

THE FIBRO TRAVELLING SIDE SHOW

What causes Fibromyalgia?

Pick a card.

Any card.

It seems that everyone has an opinion on what causes Fibromyalgia. It's almost as if they want to pin it on anything and everything but a neurological malfunction. Heaven forbid there would actually be something wrong with us.  Some of the opinions are, in my mind, just absurd. 


Let's reduce it to the ridiculous.
Obesity. 


Obesity as the reason for Fibromyalgia just cracks me up. First of all, if any sort of movement causes pain and your energy levels are in the toilet, it just makes sense that you would probably add a few pounds because of the inactivity. People that have Fibromyalgia remember the days with longing when they could run around and not get beat up. Most people would love to be able to exercise without feeling like they got hit by a truck afterward. Now, to add to this ridiculous theory, let's add the medications that are sometimes prescribed. The first one that comes to mind is the one that is touted by my favorite commercial of all time as the little magic pill that will give you your life back. 


Yep. 
Lyrica.


Even on the commercial one of the first things they happen to mention as a little, tiny, minor side effect is weight gain. Now, I'm not one to tell someone what they need to take to manage their pain but, as for me, hell will freeze over before I take something that will make me gain weight. Yes, I have food and perfection issues but that's another story altogether. Even some of the antidepressants and nerve pain medications also have weight gain as a side effect. I'm not saying that weight gain won't exacerbate the symptoms or that it's a healthy lifestyle. We've all been there and have struggles with different issues but what Mensa candidate came up with this as the cause of Fibromyalgia?


Next.


Then there's the vitamin deficiency theory. I rather like this one. It is just one step away from the it's-all-in-your-head theory. Just pop a ton of vitamins and voila! Your symptoms will magically disappear! Right after that there's the dietary theories. If we stop eating, get ready for this, eggs, peas, dairy, whey, bean sprouts, beans, broccoli, cauliflower, lentils, bok choy, cabbage, kale, asparagus, leeks, rutabagas, onions, garlic, shallots, papaya, dried fruits, coffee, bananas, avocados, honeydew melons, tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, meat, poultry and fish, we will be cured. It's true. As I looked up dietary restrictions this is the list of foods I found. Basically, when you put all the recommendations together, there's nothing left to eat.


Needless to say, no one can agree on dietary recommendations either.


I think that making adjustments to our diets is healthy but will it cure us? I don't think so. I'm not a doctor but none of this stuff makes any sense to me. If it was that simple it would have been done and over with already. We'd all be going back to our lives that we had before havoc struck.  I am of the persuasion that my Fibromyalgia was the result of the trauma from a car accident. I've said it before but most of us can pinpoint exactly what happened that caused our lives to be on the roller coaster. I firmly believe Fibromyalgia is caused by some sort of trauma to the body or there is a genetic predisposition. It can be physical or emotional trauma and by emotional I don't mean you just had a bad day. I'm sure these theorists have gone over that one too. That's the you're-just-depressed-take-a-pill-and-go-home-theory. Don't you just really love that one? Thank goodness there's credible research being done but I just love it when the media posts articles making it seem like we're a bunch of looney tunes.


Oops.......I forgot to mention................


Did you know that there's a secret cure for Fibromyalgia?

The government doesn't want you to know.................


Sheesh..............

INVISIBLE AND STRONG

Another year.

We're still invisible.

How can that be?

We're still smiling through the tears. When people ask how we are we still say, "fine." We still get irritated at the Lyrica commercial and we still are disbelieved by doctors. We hesitate to talk about the tons of symptoms that pick and choose which day they will decide to appear. 

We even doubt ourselves and each other at times.


No matter what I still hate feeling out of control in my own skin. I hate waking up in pain and I hate to go to bed in pain. What I hate even more is appearing weak. I hate the fact that I have to say that I have Fibromyalgia. When people ask what it is, I hate telling them. I hate having to explain what the pain has done to my life.


We now have limitations and before there were none. We now look at life in a totally different way. Even when the pain levels subside there is a place within us that knows it's only a matter of time before it will rear its ugly head again. The pain and fatigue makes you retreat and the feeling of uselessness comes over you like a wave crashing on the shore.


Can we ever be the same again?
Yes and no.


I am just coming out of a place where the pain was strong and intense. It threatened to place me back in the black hole; a place I don't ever want to be again. I escaped the dark but it was close.


What was different this time?


Right now I'm in a place that I haven't been in many years. I'm feeling strong; definitely not physically strong but mentally strong. I'm feeling a strength of purpose and it keeps me from going down in depression. I'm walking every day and it's helped more than I can say. It takes oxycodone to do it but whatever it takes is what I'll do. I wake up in the morning in pain...that hasn't changed but I have realized that the pain isn't going to go away so I need something to overcome it. Let me make this clear. I don't believe that the walking will overcome the pain but what it does is overcome what the pain can do to me.


I'm not going to stand on a soapbox and say this is the avenue for everyone. What I will say is that there's a place in all of us where we can go and be strong. I know this because we have the strength to endure the kind of pain that we do on a daily basis. We all have a very high pain threshold and people don't understand that.


But we do.


So what I'll say is that I pray for all of us to look deep inside and find that place where pain cannot touch us.


It's there.


I know it.

WHO PULLED THE PLUG

I've been feeling a little better.

Then somebody pulled the plug.

It's true. I had a pretty bad summer and I've been dreading the monsoon season. Funnily enough, I began to feel better. 

Then the bottom dropped out.

I went to dinner and pressed one of the trigger points near my shoulder. I nearly came up out of my seat. What possessed me to do that, I'll never know. I then proceeded, just in case I didn't catch it the first time, to do it again. I figured I would be in big trouble today.

And I was.

I slept well, which was unusual, but when I got up every muscle, every bone and every joint was screaming in unison. I tried everything I knew to get moving but no go. Screw it, I took the pain medication and headed off to the gym. I am committed to it and I'm going to see it through. They say exercise helps with the pain.

They lie.

Exercise has not helped the pain. The pain is there no matter what I do. Now, the level of pain is a different story. Today, as I was walking I wanted to cry. Today everything was on overload and today, I had a lot to do.

I bought a barbecue at Costco and it doesn't work so it has to go back. Then I bought a replacement at Walmart and needed a truck to pick it up. That needed to be done. I needed my hair done. All of this on a day that my body was telling me to just go back to bed and put the covers over my head.

I couldn't do it.

So tonight, I'm slithering into a bath and crying because I overdid it.

By a long shot.

No one pulled the plug.

I did it to myself.

I CAN FEEL IT

It started out as a twinge.

I went to the gym today to walk a little bit. First, it gets me out of the house and, second, I do need the exercise. 

If you don't move it you lose it.

So, I'm at the gym and I feel the old familiar twinge in my hands and it started to really hurt when I walked around the track. Great. I know what's coming and it isn't good. 

But I kept going anyway.

I knew I'd regret it.

I'm beginning to feel that I'm being sucked into this huge vortex. I've started the pain medication and I'm not going to be stubborn about it. I'll then take the muscle relaxers before bed. I can tell right now it's going to be a doozy of a night. I know the medication will not help me sleep and I should check and see what movies will be on cable. I'm going to need a few of them.

I don't understand why the pain strikes my hands and feet first. After that the old familiar body aches start building. I ran into an old friend the other day who reminded me to accept the pain and then move on. I can't seem to be able to wrap my head around that concept. To me, acceptance means defeat and I don't give up that easily. Then again, he's never gotten up in the morning in severe pain.

Could the pain have something to do with the new supplements I'm taking? 

My daughter got me started on the powder supplement called "Alive." I mix it with banana and almond milk and make a smoothie out of it. I've never been much of a breakfast person but she told me it would help with my energy levels. I figure it can't hurt me so I'm in. Actually I drink it after my morning coffee and diet coke. I need all the help I can get so I start the morning out with a good hit of caffeine. Then, I drink the smoothie. I guess I'll never really know how much it helps because of the caffeine but it's worth a try. It's better than slugging down a handful of vitamins in the morning. I know the diet coke isn't the best breakfast but there are things that I can give up and then there are the things I can't.

Caffeine is one of them.

I don't care what form it's in but it better be there.

Then the fog rolls in.

The fog is an other worldly experience in itself. I find myself searching for the right word or trying to remember why I just walked into the room. I have an iPhone and I put everything in the calendar. When I say everything I mean everything! I put events, appointments and even dinner with my daughter. I put that I need to go to the store and what to buy. If I don't I won't remember anything.

The problem is that I don't remember to check the calendar.

I keep trying to find the person inside. I can go out but all I want to do is go home and get into bed. When it spikes I just want to hide from the world. I hate the fact that this limits me so much. I hate the way I look right now and I hate the way that I feel. I hate the pain and I hate the fatigue. I hate the body aches.

I guess I don't like much right now.

Wrong..........

Right about now I'm liking my bed very much.

A VIEW FROM THE REAR

Yes.

I seem to still have some perfection issues.

My daughter is getting married next week and I am so excited. Her intended is wonderful and the families have blended perfectly. It's a fairy tale story with a very happy ending. I just have a couple of concerns that make me a tad unhappy.

Why, then, am I unhappy?

I'm really not looking forward to pictures. It's bad enough my self image has taken a major hit with all the Fibromyalgia, hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's crapola going on. No matter what I do the 30 pounds will not come off. I know I harp on this subject but it really bugs me. 

The fact is that I don't want to look like a stuffed sausage in pictures.

I have a hard time reconciling the old me with the new me. I know in my head it shouldn't matter but it does. I bought a beautiful dress and I keep trying it on and looking at myself from the back. Think about it. It makes perfect sense. I'll be walking down the aisle and everyone will have a rear view.  All I need now is the beeping sound for the truck backing up. OK.........I'm not quite that bad but in my head I might as well be.

I've said it before and I 'll say it again. A dress size shouldn't define me as a person. In one sense it doesn't but in another it absolutely does. 

Anyone find the sense in that statement? 

Anyway, I've got a week to go and I'll be starving myself for the better part of it so I can, maybe, take off a pound. So here I go..........I've tried walking everyday and getting some exercise. Did it help? No.

One week until the wedding.........

No pounds down.

And counting................

ALTERNATIVE METHODS TO MANAGING PAIN

Today is a departure from my usual posts.

I have a guest.

Welcome Eric Stevenson!

Alternative Methods for Managing Pain

Western medicine is often poorly equipped to deal with chronic pain.  Health care professionals tend to subscribe to a “battle” perspective on illness – fighting and vanquishing the enemy disease – rather than one of constant vigilance and management.  Whether dealing with a chronic illness like fibromyalgia or symptoms of mesothelioma, an incurable cancer, people with pain-causing disease often must look elsewhere for help.  Maia Szalavitz, correspondent for MSN’s Health and Fitness, researched the following non-pharmaceutical activities for managing pain:

Massage

Receiving a massage can help alleviate some kinds of body pain, but giving a massage can actually reduce stress hormones.  A 1998 study showed that elderly patients who massaged infants were less likely to need to visit their doctors.  Most doctors recognize that touch is a factor in social support, which is crucial to living well with chronic illness.

Volunteering

Offering your time or giving gifts to others can counteract feelings of helplessness that sometimes come with unmanageable pain.  Scientists at Boston College actually found a direct link between volunteering and pain reduction after six months.  Depression and pain-related disability decreased, as well.

Acupuncture

While acupuncture has not shown to be significantly effective in clinical trials, part of the reason may be that, unlike giving a sugar pill, it is extremely difficult to fake acupuncture in order to conduct the required trials.  Though acupuncture may not work for everyone, anecdotal evidence suggests it is sometimes helpful for pain.  Even the placebo effect provides some relief.

Exercise

Daniel Clauw, director of the Chronic Pain and Fatigue Research Center at the University of Michigan, points to exercise as the most effective treatment for the chronic pain of fibromyalgia.  He is quick to mention, however, that overdoing it can make the pain worse, and he therefore recommends starting slowly and building up to more strenuous activities at your own pace.

Therapy

Treating pain with psychological therapy is not the same as saying “it’s all in your head.”  Mood and thought can increase or decrease perception of pain, and some cognitive behavioral techniques can help chronic pain patients manage feelings of helplessness and regain some control over their attitude toward their illness.  

Meditation

Meditation practices that promote “mindfulness,” or being in the moment, can also reduce perception of pain.  Wake Forest University neurobiologist Fadel Zeidan found that even as few as three 20-minute meditation training sessions helped college students withstand greater amounts of pain.

These methods may not be appropriate or helpful for everyone with chronic pain.  For example, someone with mesothelioma symptoms like shortness of breath may be unable to exercise, and someone with chronic fatigue syndrome who requires all her energy to work may be unable to volunteer.  However, when pharmaceutical treatments have proven ineffective or insufficient, it is worth looking into alternatives.

Thanks Eric for your post!