Thursday, June 21, 2012


Just when you think you have a lot of pain.
You find out that it isn't as bad as you think.

I went to a support group meeting. I have to say honestly that I wasn't in the mood. I've been hurting so much and have been so tired that I just wanted to curl up in my chair and stare off into space.

There is a reason for everything.

Someone was there that was in so much pain and so overwhelmed that it was just too much to deal with for even another day. I have to admit that I've been there. I also have to say that in that moment the thought of bringing that kind of pain to my daughter made that thought go away. Prior to dealing with constant pain I thought that kind of thinking was terribly weak. It was something that I couldn't even fathom.

Enter the world of chronic pain.

Pain plays with your head. There comes a point when you need a break from the pain otherwise it will break you. The pain is stealthy. It slowly morphs into depression and the depression is a danger in itself. It wants to isolate you and tell you that this is all that you need. Pains evil touch makes us doubt our faith and our strength and fighting it is the only option that we have. No matter how we fight we need to realize that it is a fight that we will have our entire lives or until, magically, a cure is found.

Depression from chronic pain is just a wolf in sheep's clothing. We must stay vigilant and aware that the pain is causing our mindset. Depression will tell us that this fight isn't worth it. It will try to beckon our soul over to his side where he promises that the darkness will soothe our soul and give us a break from the pain. 

We must always remember that he lies.

Admitting depression doesn't mean that we're weak.

It just means that we've stayed strong for far too long.

It takes a strength of will to climb out of the dark into the light.

And one more thing.......

We are not alone in this fight.

We have each other.


  1. Pain is our constant companion. Some days it walks beside us. Some days it is the monkey on our backs. Never can we let it choose the path for us. Or at least that's what I try to convince myself when I've been up till 5 am fighting pain and have a 10 hour day of work ahead of me. I am stronger than this. Just don't look at me when I'm crying in the corner.

  2. I know what you mean. It's been bad lately for me too. I don't cry in the corner, though. I cry under the covers with a pillow over my head. It scares me and I've been close to the I thought. I met someone who is truly on the edge and it scared me so much. You just try to hold on as best you can. I hope and pray she gets the help she needs and I know that the group will be there for her.


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