Sunday, November 25, 2012
Give me a F.
Give me an .....
Oh, what the heck does it spell?
is for the Fatigue that loves to hound my body when I've pushed it too far. It's always present in the morning because I never Feel rested. "F" is also for the Fun I used to have burning the candle at both ends. "F" is also for the Fog that is around whenever I can't remember the reason I walked into the room in the first place. "F" is also for the Frustration that I seem to feel every time I talk to a doctor about Fibromyalgia and they just don't seem to get it.
is for the Irritability I feel when I just constantly feel Icky. "I" is also for the state of Invisibility which is where I live when people and doctors look at you with pure disdain when you say you've been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. 'I" is also for the use of Imagination when dealing with doctors and trying to get the medications needed to manage this illness.
is for the Bad days that seem to rear their ugly head just when you thought you were beginning to feel good. It's for feeling Bummed when another flare comes right after the one that left a few days ago. "B" is also for feeling Betrayed and Beaten down by your own body and feeling Baffled when another symptom pops up.
is for the Ridiculous way that some in the medical community refer to this illness. It is for the way that most of us have to Re-invent ourselves due to the chaos that Fibromyalgia brings to our lives. It is also for the Realization that there is no cure and this is a life sentence. It is also for the Reminders that you have to leave yourself because you cannot Remember anything.
is for the Optimism that we cling to especially when pain spirals Out-of-control. It is also for people who are Obtuse and think that pain is a constant in your life by choice and not design. It is also for those Outstanding friends and family to come to your aid and love you no matter what. It's for feeling Obligated to keep going even though every bone in our bodies are crying for us to stop.
is for Medical appointments and having doctors on speed dial. It is for the MRI'S and all the other tests you'll go through until you finally get a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. It's also for the Money that will fly out the window because all these tests and doctor appointments are very expensive. It's also for the Memory that will also fly out the window and you will be left wondering where your intelligence went. It's also for the Management skills you'll have trying to keep the Myriad of symptoms in check.
is for the acceptance and Yielding to the fact that Fibromyalgia is here to stay. It is for feeling Yucky. It's also for the constant Yawning because of the fatigue. It's for the realization that this isn't a day or month thing, this is a Years thing. It's Yearning for a day without pain.
is for the Absence of testing that can lead to a real diagnosis. It is also for the ability to Alleviate some of the severity of the symptoms with medication. It is for standing strong and Adamant that this is real and not in our imagination. It's for feeling Alienated.
is for feeling Limited. It is for feeling Left-out when we have to miss events because of fatigue or pain. It's for feeling Lousy or Lifeless when we lay in bed all day. It's telling ourselves that we are Lazy, Lumpy and Lifeless when a flare comes along and knocks us off our feet.
is for feeling like some of the seven dwarfs especially Grouchy, Gloomy and Grumpy. Yes, I did take license on some of those names! It's for feeling Grateful for the good days that we do have and it's for feeling Guilty when I do take the time to let my body recover in bed. It is also for Grieving for the life that I used to have.
is for the Irritation that I feel when people say that if I'd just move around I'd feel better. Don't they think I'd do that if it worked? It's for feeling Isolated. It's for the Invisible disease because you don't look sick. It's also for the Impatience I have with myself.
is for looking at the bright side because it could Always be worse. It's for being Aggravated and Agitated with ourselves and others. It's for being Absent-minded. It's for the Accusations that we're neurotic when pain and fatigue take over. It's also for being Appreciative friends and family.
I'm sure there are more words......
I can tell you what the F stands for....
But I can't write it on my blog.......
Ha....I know it stands for Fricking Fibromyalgia!!
What does it mean to you?