Wednesday, November 13, 2013
I really had to laugh.
Fibromyalgia affects your love life?
Is it cold in here?
I've been asked to go to dinner by Mr. Dreamboat. I just can't wait....I've been looking forward to this for so long. I just need to get out of my house! My heart just skips a beat thinking about it...oh wait....is that him or atrial fibrillation?
The big day is here. I awake to the birds chirping just outside my window. As I open my eyes to the glorious sunshine, I shut them quickly because the light hurts my eyes and bury my head in the pillow. Ow. I moved too fast and the morning stiffness has set in. Like the tin man begging for an oil can fix, I make my way to the coffee maker.
Great. I mean great!
I'm really looking forward to it.
Just in case, I put fresh sheets on the bed. Now, I'm so exhausted that I have to lie down and take a short nap. I tell myself that this is good and I'll be nice and refreshed for the evening. I have a lovely lavender spray for the sheets but as the spray wafts through the air, I start sneezing uncontrollably. I'm sure the redness around my nose will go away by dinnertime.
Since dinner is around 7, I figure that I need to start getting ready for the evenings festivities around 3. This will give me plenty of time because it will take that long just to tie my shoes. Did I just say that? OMG, that won't work....I have to put on the torture device called heels tonight. I'll need another nap after I get out of the shower.
I shouldn't have put on makeup yet. Now, I need to fix my mascara again because it's under my eyes after my nap. Crap. I will have to start over. At least I kept my hair in a towel. OK, makeup is washed off and I start over. It's now around 5:30 and I haven't even dried my hair. I hate this part because I have to stretch my arms up to use the round brushes.
Did I really agree to go out to dinner?
I don't look too bad but I'm starting to hurt.
The stiffness and pain has returned with a vengeance and all I want to do is get in bed.
Oh, knock it off.
Just start smiling.
I'm asked if I feel good enough to go. I manage to say, "oh yeah," with just the slight curl of my lips which look more like a snarl than a smile.
By the time I limp to the car I feel like crap. I pretend to look out the window because if I say anything I might give it away. Once in the restaurant I look at all the happy people and wish I could take a time machine back to before all of this attacked my body. The room sounds loud and the waiter bumps into my shoulder as he approaches the table. That's all I needed. Nothing looks good on the menu but, like the trooper I am, I manage to listen to the waiter blather on about the chef specials.
I WISH HE WOULD STOP SPEAKING.
I'm tired of the noise, I'm tired of looking at food that I really don't want and I'm tired of the waiter coming by every five minutes asking if I'm OK.
What really scares me is the look on my honey's face. He's oblivious to the internal war I'm waging and I can just tell that he thinks the evening will last past dinner. He grabs my hands and the pain shoots up my shoulder. My eyes gave everything away. Plans after dinner??
Not only no.
But hell no.
I hurt from sitting in an uncomfortable chair making small talk that I am in no mood to make. We made it through dinner and I think he could tell by the way I flinched as he touched my shoulder that anything else he had in mind for the evening was going out the window.
Now, let's go back to the article.
Who the heck wants to be caressed when every bone, muscle and fiber of your body is crying out. Even if it's a low pain day, it's AWAYS THERE and touch is difficult. Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue make terrible bed mates.
If it doesn't hurt...
you're too tired to care.
You just need to read the survey.