Thursday, July 23, 2009


Chronic pain. Brain fog. Fatigue.
The bywords of my life.

I've taken pain medication for the fifth day. I refuse to be immoble but it hurts so fricking bad to even walk. I rub my hands because they hurt. It's hard to sleep because I hurt. I find it hard to read because I hurt and can't seem to see through the fog that shrouds my brain.

I've been researching chronic pain and found a study from Northwestern University. Dr. Vania Apkarian states in this study that chronic pain shrinks the brain 11%. Eleven percent! This is compared to 10-20 years of normal aging. The unrelenting pain was studied in patients that have had it over a year. The loss of brain density is relating to the level and duration of the pain.

The decision making ability, emotional assessments and the control of social behavior is caused from abnormal brain chemisty that chronic pain brings.

This is heartening. That means the reason I've lost brain cells and turned into a jellied mass of emotions is that the pain has been going on for so long that I'm literally


I have tried to take part in the Fibromyalgia and Fatigue center comments. I've would welcome input on how other people cope with the pain, the unrelenting fatigue and brain fog.

What I can't handle is the complaining.

I can whine with the best of them. I grew up kvetching and will die kvetching but I don't want to listen to it from everyone else on a constant basis. I know we all hurt and I know most doctors think we're nuts.

Hell, for that matter, I think I'm half nuts with all this crap going on with my body.

What I want is something definitive. I bought a comfort U pillow 5 years ago and it has truly helped by taking the pressure of some of my trigger points so that I can rest. I tell people this is what I did and why it helps. That's all I want to know.

If you take supplements tell me what they are and why you think it helps.

For today, I just wish it would rain.


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