Tuesday, July 21, 2009


LightningImage by Pete Hunt via Flick

Today promises to be a day that will hurt. There were thunderstorms moving in and I've been feeling it in my hands and going through every bone in my body.

The last few days have brought back the pain to the heights that it reached a month ago. I take two steps forward and then three steps back. To compensate for my lack of mobility due to the pain, I've used the time to pause.

Pause. Take stock of what I have, what I don't have, what I want and how I want to get there. The acceptance part of the grieving process that I've gone through with my body is emerging. I no longer want to fight it and deny it. I realize my limitations again and will adjust my life accordingly.

I got word that a work colleague has died. She had a massive heart attack and passed away after they operated on her. When I asked about her one of her friends said, "she was just under so much stress." I am fully convinced that stress kills. We're not meant to survive on cortisol running constantly through our system. That type A personality that I joke so often about has to take a back seat to Type B. When we see, "don't sweat the small stuff," those people who wouldn't recognize stress if it jumped up and bit them; they have something there.

What really matters in the grand scheme of things? The quality of our lives rather than rushing around trying to get everything "just right." Life, love and health.

I'm learning lessons from my dog. My baby is getting older and he has a little trouble with his back legs but when he see's "his pack" you can see his happiness in his whole body. He smiles; he wags his tail with the vigor of a young puppy. He doesn't stop to think what he doesn't have, he concentrates on what he does. The unconditional love of his family and friends and he sleeps in the contented knowledge that he has all he needs.

He is my lesson in life.


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