Saturday, August 22, 2009
As everyone knows ( I hope) the inactivity and absolute inability to move anything but your little finger when a real flare up comes rolling in tends to put a little bit of weight on you. This is not a good thing for your self esteem. I call it the piggie complex. I've spent the last year trying to lose the 25 pounds that I've put on only to look at a cheesecake and have it magically appear on my butt overnight. Tomorrow is my birthday and I'll be going out to dinner with my family and I can only imagine how much weight I'll gain within that hour period.
Now I'm not going to eat during the day so technically one should be ok. It doesn't work that way with me. I'd just like to have a dinner that does NOT include broiled chicken and veggies. I'd like to have potatoes with butter. I'd like to have a giant steak. I'd love to have a huge salad and not put dressing on the side. I'd love to have a ton of bread. At the end of dinner.........yep. Cake and ice cream and plenty of it.
Fantasies are a wonderful thing. So as another birthday comes and goes, I'll be hoping that the pain medication takes the edge off so that I don't have to plaster a fake smile on my face just to get through the evening. I'll be hoping that the humidity lowers a little so I don't spend the night in agony.
As bad as I feel right now, I can still say I'm grateful. This could be A LOT worse and, quite honestly, it's better than the alternative so while I'm not anywhere near optimum I'll have the people who love me and understand me next to me. For that I'm truly blessed.
For my birthday wish?
Screw world peace. I just don't want the cake to stay on my butt.