Wednesday, May 20, 2009


I've become a lot more tolerant of my body. Lately it's been turning on me and I don't like it. I better listen because right now the body holds all the cards.

Years of being a type A personality has finally taken it's toll. I think it started early. One of my earliest memories is going berserk because my brother borrowed my records and didn't bring them back in alphabetical order. I also didn't like my food touching. Picky eaters will know what I'm talking about here. I liked my food colors together and "yucky" foods were not invited. I looked in horror as my brothers would mix potatoes and vegetables together or have meat and vegetables and sauce together on a fork. My mom would say "You've hardly touched your food," and being the smart ass that I am, would put my hands on the food and say, "there, I've touched it." She'd also say that there were starving people in China ( see how many years ago that was!) and I'd then give her directions on how to package the food and ship it to China. It continued through the years. Spices in alphabetical order, closets color coordinated, shoes placed by color, video tapes and DVDs in alphabetical order. I tried a home Dewey decimal system for my books and that didn't work so well so I just went to book height. I have what we like to call "my new obsessions." There are yip yaps, dental dots, blender balls and insta-snow. Everyone gets my obsessions for gifts or I just stock up on them myself. My dogs nearly keeled over from all the doggie breath mints I bought for them. I have no clue on how this started and I've relinquished some of the control but NOT NEARLY ENOUGH. Yep. A Control freak extraordinaire. As I look at the control portion you must also throw a immediate gratification freak into the mix as well. Does this give you the tiniest clue????

Well, lets get back to pain. Pain is truly a four letter word and I don't mean that in just the literal sense. I permeates your being and consumes your daily life. Just when you think you've gotten used to one level it spikes and hits you with something else or it will just jab you so you know that it will not go away gracefully. Pain sucks. I don't care whether it's physical, emotional or spiritual pain. Pain of any kind robs you of your life. It robs you of true joy. It's a nasty little reminder that your happiness can be taken away in one fell swoop. You have a good day and start to relax?? Wrong.

The medical community is like the picture. They have no idea what you're talking about. There are tests galore to rule out conditions but not one to rule this one in. Fibromyalgia. The mysterious and anonymous disease that makes you feel like you're crazy. It's the oh-you're-in-pain-and-tired-but-you-don't-look-sick-so-just-move-around-and-it-will-get-better-disease. It's the disease that people think you use as a crutch to get out of the things you really didn't have the strength to go to anyway. It's the disease that helps pain and fatigue in their mission to incapacitate you. It's also the disease that enables doctors to tell you they have the answers but don't take insurance so you're on your own and the cost will be pretty high.

So, after hearing the cost, I'm on a mission. I will be finding out all I can about my mystery ailment and using myself as a lab rat. I'll try vitamins and diet and yoga and anything I can do to see if I can get rid of the pain and how to relieve stress to help the flare ups. I will find out anything I can that will help ease the pain.

Let's start with the drug the FDA released to help with the symptoms of Fibromyalgia.Lyrica. What a comforting musical name. First of all it's not only for Fibro symptoms, so lets get that one out first and foremost. It's for seizure disorders as well. It's for neuropathy too. The FDA didn't approve it solely for Fibromyalgia but that's what the commercials tell you. I love how they show that you can get on with your life but start talking real fast about the side effects. My eyes, of course, went to the weight gain blurb real quick. Right now, I could be in pain but hell will freeze over before I take something that will put even more weight on me that the years of inactivity have done. Cymbalta is also approved for this and one of the side effects is weight loss. Why can't we try that one first? Savella was also approved but how do you balance the pain with all the side effects these drugs have? Savella and Lyrica have about the same side effects. I don't get it. We could all have three heads but hey.........we're out of pain. Obviously, this isn't going to work.

So now I'm researching. I have a new obsession to deal with but at least it's a healthy one. At least it's one that will help me get well or, at the very least, get managed. Here we go.


Post a Comment

Please leave a comment!