Sunday, October 18, 2009




This is the second bath I've taken since I got home. For some reason the pain is out of control tonight. It's that voodoo pain that I've written about before. The pain that has the power to bring you to your knees or, in my case, curl you up in a fetal position praying for relief. I feel like I'm handcuffed by the pain and I can't break free.

It jumps up and smacks you so you know it's there, then it increases it's intensity and if that's not enough it migrates so you don't know where it will go next. This is the pain that you pray the muscle relaxers and pain medication will help. I've gone on the supplements and tried visualization. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't. Since I'm so attached to my heating pad I think I'll name it Chris Pine. I know, I know.....but allow me to be a cougar if only with my heating pad!

So far no good.

I'm going try to get some sleep but then I notice it's only 8:15. How pathetic. I don't want to go to sleep this early but the only thing I can do is get in bed and curl up so that I can try to forget how much I hurt right now. I've tried to think what could have triggered an episode that came on so suddenly. I don't have any answers. This pain has a mind of its own.

I think I'll make my own weather forecast. There's a 95% chance of whining, bitching, moaning and crying due the pain front advancing from the north. Clearing whenever it feels like it. A true 5 day forecast is a complete mystery. Scattered clouds due to the brain fog clearing by morning. Increased sleeplessness and grogginess by morning.

Hopefully in the morning it will be better. See!?

I still have a shred of optimism left.

Did I say I was also a hope freak?


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