Wednesday, September 8, 2010


In the hustle and bustle of everyday life,
we forget how fragile life is.
In a moment, a twinkling of an eye,
everything can change.

It was Labor Day and in my ever-present fog I had forgotten about a barbecue for a dear member of the family who is moving back to Ohio. I was so tired and I had slept most of the day. Once I had gotten up and looked at my phone I realized that I had totally forgotten it. My daughter had sent me a text message earlier in the day about it and I sent one back that I was just to tired to go.

I called her and then my world suddenly dropped out from beneath me. Her fiance, my dear almost son-in-law, was in the emergency room. It wasn't clear what was wrong but from all indications it looked like he had some kind of stroke or seizure. His speech was slurred and he didn't know where he was and it took quite a few people to get him into the car and to the hospital which, thank goodness, was only a few minutes away. 

I flew out the door to the hospital. I was in pain before the call and after the call my whole body was crying out in pain. 

I ignored it. 
I had to. 

Hearing my daughters terrified voice propelled me into action. I couldn't believe what was happening. I can understand it happening to someone older but he's 30 years old and healthy. What the heck was going on?

When I walked into his room he didn't know me and that scared me to my core. I looked at my daughters face and quickly looked away. I'm the only one that just by looking at her can bring her emotions to the forefront and reduce her to tears. I know she didn't want to break down in front of him so I went back to the waiting room. During the next 24 hours he had every test imaginable and they all came back normal. So far, until they get the results of the EEG, he passed everything with flying colors. As of now, he's alert and can remember everything except  when the episode occurred. 

What it did was put life in perspective. We don't know when our lives can change. Thank goodness, it looks like he's going to be fine and it was some sort of TIA (transient ischemic attack) but it could have gone the other way too. The only thing that matters in this life is the health of the people we love. 

We have changed from the people that we were. While not quite on the level of a mini-stroke or something life threatening, what we have is something life changing. It take us from normal, functioning human beings and brings us to people that live our lives at the whim of our bodies. We never know what the day will bring. One day we can be free of pain and then next be down on our knees begging for God to take the pain away. We just never know.

What I do know is that we should embrace every day as a gift, no matter how we feel. Everything we know and have can be changed or taken away in a moments notice. Life is much too short. I will try not to let the stresses of life's circumstances get to me. I will try to remember that however bad I feel, life is still precious. I will try to look up into the heavens and be grateful for each breath. 

I will look at my children and smile and always thank God that they are happy and healthy. It's come too close and I was reminded how fragile life can be.

I will never take that for granted again.


  1. Rosemary, So glad your daughters fiance is okay. Things like that bring life into perspective. This past year I was dealing with my life (fibro, RA, Lupus and various other probs) when my husband started losing a lot of weight, nausea, exhaustion. Long story short they thought he had pancreatic cancer. Luckily it wasn't cancer but he was and is still sick. I finally saw and had to be the caregiver and watch him in pain. I try see my life in a different way right now. I am still in the same amt of pain but try to desperately see the good in the day not just the bottom of the hole as usual. I pray for you daily and hope that tomorrow will be just a little bit more bearable for you.

    Sylvia weitzel

  2. Wow! Sooo sorry to hear! I'm so glad he's okay now. Indeed, how precious life is and we cannot take it for granted. It's easy sometimes to get swept up into the insanity of it all or to just feel our lives slipping away from all the Fibro stuff... but we can't let it. We have to enjoy every moment that we can. Well said. I needed this reminder today, thank you!

  3. I am glad that he is okay now. That is scary.

    A few months ago, I had to take my husband of 6 months to the ER because he was having acute pain and could barely breathe. It scared me to death. He was in the hospital a few days and then had several surgeries over the course of a month or so. I'm so grateful that I was able to be the caregiver for him during that time. It helped me, and it helped him (I crashed huge when he got better, but I actually had some of my better days when I was caring for him).

    "In the hustle and bustle of everyday life,we forget how fragile life is. In a moment, a twinkling of an eye, everything can change."
    You have this quote at the beginning of your post. Did you write this, or is it by someone else? It really cut to my very core. Beautifully written.


  4. I haven't posted mine yet, but yours is very compelling and I can so certainly identify. Thanks for being a voice!

    your sister in ICI

  5. Okay, Rose you are unbelievable!! You are in the throes of this family crisis and you stop to write and see how I am! Incredible!

    I am relieved he is okay now! It is always a worry when they can't pin down an explanation, but I am so glad all the tests were negative. Your poor daughter! Poor you!

    I had an hysterical phone call from my daughter at 3:30 in the morning last week. It is a long messed up story but a so called "friend" of hers ended up being charged with terroristic threats against her - should have been assault and attempted rape!!! She was terrified and I was helplessly 2000 miles away!

    Yes,"we forget how fragile life is. In a moment, a twinkling of an eye, everything can change."

    Truer words were never spoken.

    my love to you and prayers for your daughter and son-in-law,


  6. Remember one guys are a part of my family!


  7. Thanks so much for the care and concern. It's so frightening when our loved ones have episodes that are life-threatening! Jaime, is your husband okay now? I pray for all of us and our families that we will be protected and surrounded by God's grace.

    Thanks again everyone! I love you all!

  8. Yes, my husband is fine now. It was his gallbladder and complications with surgeries for that. So, all in all, it was about a month or month and a half. But, it felt good to be able to be his caregiver for once... he's been such a great caregiver for me.


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