Thursday, March 10, 2011


This is what I feel I'm made of.
Just one more.
Maybe the next one will do the trick.

I feel like all I do is take pills. When I wake up in the morning I take pills and when I go to sleep at night I take pills. It doesn't matter that they are all prescribed or supplements. It's just more pills than I can handle.

Where do I start? Well, let's start with the thyroid medication in the morning. Before the car accident I went to the neurologist because my hands were cold and tingling. The neurologist wanted me to get an MRI to rule out neurological problems that could cause those symptoms. It turns out that it was my thyroid. And I was hypothyroid with a vengeance. I thought that once I started the medication I'd lose weight. It didn't matter to me in the slightest that the tingling and coldness in my hands went away. All I cared was the weight that I couldn't seem to lose would come off once I started the medication. Maybe I'm naive but if the weight stays because your thyroid is off balance it stands to reason, at least in my mind, that once it's regulated the weight would come off. I still don't get it.

After that, the supplements are taken en-mass. The alphabet vitamins. The A,B,C,D and E.,  DHEA, CoQ10, multi-vitamins are gulped down with a protein drink. Every morning I look at those and just wonder if I can swallow them again. Pain medication is taken so the stiffness and pain that comes in the morning can be tolerated. You know what's funny? I have been asked why the strength of the pain medication that I've been taking for years is the same. That is a really easy question for me to answer. I've always been afraid of the amount of medication that I'd have to take to get rid of the pain.  I don't want to be zonked out and a zombie. It's just not a good place to be so I've resisted upping the strength of the pain medication. It's a double edged sword.  It's almost implying that if I'm on the same strength the pain must be the same and that's not it at all. It's fear plain and simple. Well, let's keep going on.............

Then comes the morning coffee. Or some semblance thereof. My coffee is mostly vanilla powder and sweet and low mixed with a little bit of coffee. My daughter shudders when she watches me make my "coffee." 

Do the supplements work? I don't notice any difference but, funnily enough, I am a little afraid to stop taking them. After all of the pill taking I massage Topricin in my hands and feet. Believe it or not, this is what it takes to get moving in the morning. 

If you haven't tried Topricin you should. It's a homeopathic cream for pain. I got it a Whole Foods but you can also buy it online. I've included the link so just click on the name and you can read all about it. Topricin recently received a patent for the treatment of Fibromyalgia pain. It's an amazing product and it really seems to help.

By the time the evening arrives it's time for the last round of medication. The evening includes magnesium, pain medication and muscle relaxers. I try to get through the day without loading up on the muscle relaxers but that depends on the severity of the muscle spasms. Then I start the ritual for sleep. This involves lavender aromatherapy and pillow spray. Lavender vanilla cream is massaged into my arms and then I take Mid Nites. They are melatonin melt away pills that help me relax and drift off into sleep. 

Well, do they really?  

I still have a problem sleeping. I can sleep for a few hours and then I'm up. Where I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat before.......well, there are a lot of things that I used to do BEFORE.....

Before what you ask?

Before Fibromyalgia.
Before the car accident.
Just before. B-4??



  1. Love that picture....that's how I feel too!

    I actually tossed all my supplements for the pure fact that I hated taking so many pills & I never felt a difference.

    However...I have thought about trying them again. Ugh!

  2. I got so tired of swallowing all of those pills I honestly gave up. And I didn't feel like they were making a difference... maybe they were but I just felt too frustrated to see a big enough difference so I lost interest. I understand what you mean about upping the pain meds. I tried that and was definitely a zombie on some of it! Then my other pain med I was convinced wasn't working because I'd taken it for so long, but when I tried to go off it I realized it actually had been helping so I'm back on it now. Ughhh so frustrating and discouraging somedays, isn't it?! Thanks for the Topricin tip! I'll have to look into that. I've also wondered about looking into taking Magnesium and Melatonin. But then I convince myself again that those things just don't seem to work and I can't swallow a gazillion pills again, I have a horrible gag reflex and I think I'll just freak out.

    Oh what a mess. I'm so sorry.


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