Sunday, July 10, 2011
I've tried everything.
I hope I don't sound like I'm being flip about the Lord. That wasn't my intention when I decided to write this post. It's just that I've tried just about everything, including prayer, but the pain is spiraling out of control. Las Vegas, in the summer, is like living three inches away from the sun. Even if you like the heat, which I don't, when the thermometer reads 117 you start to melt. Just point your hair dryer at your face and you've got a pretty good idea what it feels like.
The extreme heat starts to abate a little bit and the monsoon season hits. The temperature is somewhat livable but the humidity starts to creep up to 30% and above and I feel every degree of that movement. My body doesn't do well in this type of weather. Why does the weather affect my body so much? I used to laugh at people that said their arthritis would act up and they knew it was going to rain. Let me tell you, I don't laugh anymore. Is it because our bodies have a high water content? Is that why we're affected by atmospheric conditions? All I know is that my body feels like it's going into rigor mortis and it's not a pleasant feeling. I've thought about massage but the thought of anyone touching me right now is enough to make me scream. It's a triad of heat, humidity and PAIN.
So let me give you the current weather forecast:
Cloudy and humid with rapidly developing whining, crying and complaining.
So this means that I take the pain medication before the "ow" that I now feel becomes a resonating howl that can be heard throughout the valley. I have tried to keep positive thoughts and talk myself out of the pain but you can't talk yourself out of chronic pain no matter what some people say. I only wish it were that simple. The only thing you can do is find the way to best manage your life so that you can deal with the life sentence you were handed.
Let's throw in some stress.
Stress doesn't help things at all and tomorrow will be a stress filled day. I have a lot to do and coupled with the humidity it's going to be a barometric free-for-all kind of day. Not pretty at all and I'm not looking forward to it. I won't feel guilty that I can't manage to find a zen place and talk myself out of this pain. I have read all the books that tell me I can cure Fibromyalgia by supplements and by positive thoughts. I will take it one day at a time and do what I can do for me; not for what others tell me I can do. I realize that I am a Type A personality and nothing I can do will turn me into a Type B and my management of this illness needs to be tailored to my personality.
I just can't be accepting and meek about this illness.
I really do admire people that wouldn't recognize stress if it jumped up and bit them.
They just go with the flow and life's a song.
Let's try Running on Empty........
Or maybe Crash and Burn.........
I'll let you know tomorrow.