Friday, January 28, 2011


Sometimes it's just easier this way.

Why is everything such a fight? I fight every day for a healthier way of life. I fight to get the exercise that my body needs. I fight so that I don't have to take pain medication to function and I fight the fog that seeps into my brain. 

I fight the fog and I fight the pain.

I fight to keep a smile on my face when every part of me wants give in to the feelings of anger toward the driver of this car. I know that I have to stop this. It's counter-productive and I realize it. I can't go forward while I'm still looking back. 

I actually thought I was making headway.
Now I get penalized for fighting.

I found out that I got denied by my employer's long term disability policy. I've got doctor's galore that have documented my case, however, when it comes to an insurance company paying well, that's another story. They took an "independent" medical examination and casually inserted false statements and denied me again. The added plus was that they have a real problem with Fibromyalgia. Now, a suit will probably have to be filed.

I used to pride myself on my ability to be a fighter. I had abilities and I was confident. Now I'm just tired of fighting. Now I have to continue to jump through their hoops so they'll see that I'm serious about pursuing this claim.  Most people, at this point, just give up and go away.

However, I'm not most people.

You pay premiums and they pry and pick through your life with the intention of connecting the dots so they point to denial. I do realize that there are many fraudulent claims out there and they must be thorough so that they are weeded out but when there is appropriate documentation and they discard it, well, that's just plain wrong. Now the attorneys that the insurance company has on retainer can justify their jobs and take this case to court.

Just great.

I hate fighting.

And it looks like I'll have to keep fighting.

I'm really tired of it.


  1. I'm so sorry Rosemary. That's awfu.

    I read some articles years ago about how some of the insurance companies actaully are set up to take your money and then find any reason, no matter how small, and not pay out.

    I'm sorry that you are going to have to sue to get this resolved.

    Sending you(((((hugs)))) my friend.

  2. I am so very sorry, Rose. It is beyond me how you could be denied. But, you are right, there are insurance companies and doctors and, well people in general who still do not "believe" in Fibro. Each of us seem to meet more than our share in this struggle called life. The struggle has taken all of the wind out of me. I wonder if I will ever get any "fight" back. There are too many villains against me right now. The pain, the fear, the unknown are too much for me. But, I will send prayers aloft for you, that you may have good rest and a reconsideration from the powers that be concerning your disability.

    Miracles do happen. You deserve one.


  3. I am sorry this happened to you. I don't know if it will help, but it happened to me too. I have multiple ailments, some autoimmune, in addition to fibromyalgia, but I still was denied. I was subject to both physical and psychological "Independent Medical Exams" where the practitioners flat-out made things up. I had a lawyer who flaked on me right as the statute of limitations ran out, so I have no recourse.

    This doesn't mean you shouldn't fight. If we don't at least try to file suit, we are just rolling over and letting these insurance companies breach their contracts and treat the next guy like dirt too. Good luck to you!

    BTW, I came across your blog via a Facebook fibromyalgia page. May I post a link to my own blog? You may take a peek at mine before you decide:

  4.'re more than welcome to post a link!

  5. Rosemary, I just saw this post..damn this makes me mad! I had my hearing with a social security disability judge on Jan. 31, waiting now to hear, was told 30-60 days..the waiting is almost unbearable since so much depends on a positive outcome. Like an income every month, meager as that may be. I don't know how much more fight I have left in me, either. One thing about this Fibro, just day to day existence seems like enough of a fight. Will say a prayer for you to be able to continue and succeed in your appeal..why us?? I would so much rather feel good and be able to work. Why don't folks understand that?



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