Monday, September 28, 2009


He was obsessed with the perfect relationship.

He needed adoration.

He is a skilled and accomplished chameleon.

I don't know why I still need answers. There aren't any. The fights were always my fault so that he could cover his guilt. He has this obsession with fantasy so one woman will never be enough. We are imperfect people and so there will come a day when reality begins to seep into the relationship and that will be enough for the secrecy to begin.

I'll bet I can write the script.

He'll stay on the phone until he hears the buying signs. He'll wait for your concern. He'll hear when he's hooked you because he's trained for that. The phone is his greatest asset. If he tells you he used to write the scripts for telephone sales, believe it and listen. He is telling you how he's going to hook you. He'll use cute phrases like, "I'm going to the couch now," or "you've been with the rest and now you're with the best." He'll call you sweetheart and act like the concerned gentleman. He'll encourage sassy repartee and then call you a smart ass.

When you open up and tell him how you feel or how much you enjoy talking to him he'll respond with "ditto."  One little powerful word isn't it?

Make no mistake; he's looking for a stooge wrapped up in a smart woman's body.

His insatiable appetite; first for your body then for your soul.

Just remember. When you start getting real he'll start getting bored. He needs the constant buzz to validate his masculinity.

He needs the emotional high that every conquest brings. Whatever it takes to close the deal he will do. He doesn't have any restraints or boundaries concerning his relentless pursuits of the buzz. He will forever cheat on his spouse or girlfriend (or both as the case may be) justifying his actions because they didn't keep him entertained. He has no regard or care of the damage he causes in his quest for gratification.

He loves a challenge and will tell you that he brings the thrill to the party. Oh, by the way, he loves that phrase too. He'll tell you he brings a lot to the party.

Oh yeah.

Get the party hats out now.

He'll tell you that you have a beautiful smile and he'll tell you sweet dreams. He will tell you he doesn't trust very easily but that he trusts you and that you can trust him without question. He'll call you his cutie petutie. He'll tell you that he's been thinking about you. 

He will ply you with words until you're jelly.

He will convince you that the previous women in his life mistreated him and took him for granted. With those words he'll have you eating out of his hand. He'll tell you that you'll never know what he'll do next. He'll dedicate songs to you (probably something with Michael Jackson or Maureen McGovern) and you'll think he's the most romantic man in the world.

When you finally open up and tell him how you feel he will tell you that those are the most beautiful words that anyone has ever said to him. Very gradually you'll see sexual innuendo creep into the conversation and then it will get stronger. He'll tell you, "you have no idea of what I want to do to you." That will be the whipped cream (and yes, that will be mentioned as well) on top. You will be too besotted with the image that he's built for you that you don't see the real man. 

Oh, you will see glimpses of it but you won't believe it.

You'll open your heart and spill the triumphs and sorrows that this life gives all of us. You'll share your heartaches and your hurts. If he slips up he'll modify his approach so that you'll buy into the image even more and he can congratulate himself on how good he is at the game. It's called getting you to ask how many are in the box. It's an old boiler room game and it's structuring the conversation so you'll ask and then buy.

He is so charming. You'll constantly second guess yourself thinking that you must be crazy when the numbers don't start to add up. Even when you confront him he'll deny, deny, deny. I'll give him this.....he's good at it.

Just remember this:

He'll ALWAYS have a Plan B.


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