Friday, September 11, 2009
OK, I start the thyroid medication. I was started out slow and gradually worked up to a stronger dose. When I got to the third level I started feeling weird. I got shortness of breath and it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I got back to the doctor and now I'm not to take the medication. I will be going back to the lower dosage and let's see how that works. I want this to start to get better.
She was insistent that my stress level be managed. She reiterated that I am sick. She kept trying to get through to me that the Fibromyalgia coupled with chronic fatigue and topped off with the thyroid makes for a very sick woman.
I tend to be in denial. I do not want to believe that I'm this sick little woman. I hate that label. I don't want to be sick and I don't want to believe that my life has limitations. Unfortunately she made it abundantly clear that I was to rest. I was to eliminate things and people that bring stress to my life. She gave me a wonderful prediction. If I don't do what she says she'll give me a few months before I really crash out. Great.
I haven't told many people about the Fibro. It's back to the "you don't look sick" syndrome. We don't want people to use this when we feel so terrible but then we use it on ourselves. I just don't know what to do about it all.
I'll do what she says and try to rest. I'll leave my body image alone. I'll leave my old life behind and try not to miss it too much. I'll keep saying over and over that I need to shrug it off. I won't sweat the small stuff.
I have to many large stuffs to manage to worry about anything else. It will all work itself out in time.
Time. Time Time,
Look what's become of me................