Saturday, December 4, 2010


You're on top.
At your peak.
At the height of your career.
Life is good.
And then everything changes.

Think back to the worst flu that you've ever experienced. It's the kind of flu that makes every bone in your body ache so bad that you want to cry. When you try to lift your head up, it feels like there is a two-ton weight on your pillow. Even a little bit of light causes your eyes to quickly close. As you gingerly shuffle to the bathroom to look at yourself in the mirror, you know that there is NO WAY that you'll be going to work. All you want to do is to go back to bed and put the covers over your head but it even hurts when the sheets touch your hyper-sensitive skin. Everything hurts, everything aches and you wish you could be put out of your misery. The only reason you get through it is because you know it will be out of your system in a couple of days.

Imagine living like that every day.
Imagine no one believes you.
Imagine there is nothing that can be done for you. 

You feel a combination of fear and frustration because you keep forgetting things that you would normally remember. The fear and frustration is compounded because you want to get up and return to the work that you love. You want to do something, anything that will take the pain and fatigue away so that you can get out of bed and do something productive with your day. And then, feeling resigned, you go back to bed because even simple movements drain the last bit of energy that you possess.

Imagine the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realize you can't go back to work.
Imagine the fear knowing your once bright future is now bleak and uncertain.

Every day that goes by becomes a struggle to overcome the stigma of an invisible illness. 

To the outside world you look fine. 

How is it possible that you find it so difficult to get up and get moving? 

How can you feel so sick when you don't look sick? 

Imagine now that nothing is being done to find out why.


  1. Oh girl, you made me cry. What a great, heartfelt, real, transparent post. I appreciate this sooo much! I hate that we have to deal with this every day. Sometimes I feel like this has got to be someone else's life! When I read posts like yours I'm reminded that no, this indeed is my life as well as that of so many others such as yourself. It's awful but I'm so thankful to have people like you to talk with about it and to help me stay sane in my own little world! I love your transparency so much.

    Hang in there, I'm praying for you!!! {gentle hug}

  2. Rose! Congratulations! You are one of the TOP 50 Fibro Blogs. I'm so pleased for you.

  3. Rose,
    Congratulations! You made the top 50 fibro blogs. You deserve it you blog is great!

  4. Rose, I've come back and read this post several times, and I'm sure I'll continue to do so. You've voiced what so many of us are living day-in and day-out. It breaks my heart that so many wonderful people are struggling with everything that comes with invisible illness(es). You are such a beautiful person, and I thank you for sharing your heart here on your blog. Blessings, dear one.


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