MEDUSA'S LAMENTATIONS

You have just got to love irony.

Whenever I USED go out of the house my hair was ALWAYS done and I had on makeup. One of my greatest pleasures in life was frequenting the makeup counter at Nordstrom's. I could just float around that place for hours. Plus, I just love makeup. Mac, Philosophy, Bare Essentials and Donna Karan perfume is just yummy to me! Under my sink I have a huge bag of eye shadows, liners, blushes and lipsticks. Nordstrom's and QVC.........life was good! To me, one can never have too much makeup. 

Also, I've always been big on upkeep and maintenance. I loved manicures, pedicures, massages and facials. To me, there's nothing like pampering myself. I'd get my nails and toes done every two weeks. However, that was before. It was BF (before Fibromyalgia). Now, I even though I love facials and massages I can't stand to have that kind of pressure on my back or face. It hurts to have my nails done so I stopped that. Pedicures hurt too. Giving up all that really helped tank my self esteem. I look at my short, stubby nails and then my hands and hate them. 

Lately, I've just felt so lousy. Today is cloudy, humid and cool. Every bone in my body aches and I just want to put the covers over my head and go to sleep. But I can't because I want to get out of my house even if it's just for a few minutes. I need some things from the store so I won't be gone long and then I'll come home and go back to bed. I must force myself to do this.

I threw on a pair of sunglasses and brushed my hair and put it up in a little clippie. Add a little lip balm and there I go. No biggie.....who the hell would I run into anyway? So what are the odds that on the very day that I'd be so sick of staying in my house, and deciding to take a chance and get outside, that would be the very day I'd run into my very first boyfriend. There I am at Smith's Grocery Store looking like something the cat dragged into the house, trying to lift my spirits just a little, when I happened to glance behind me and voila! There he was. I would have recognized him anywhere. He was tall and had gray streaks in his thinning black hair. He was also a bit more wrinkled than he used to be. He was in  a pair of sweats and looked like he was just off the tennis courts.  If truth be told he didn't age very well. He had gained weight and just looked average instead of the drop dead gorgeous that I remember. Any other time I would have taken a great amount of joy in that fact but right now I would have been embarrassed in front of the hunchback of Notre Dame. I immediately went into fervent prayer and prayed that he wouldn't notice me. I made all sorts of deals with God if He would just let him pass without a word. I turned my face away, hid behind the flowers and pots, and waited for him to move to another part of the store. 

As luck would have it, he started moving toward me and looking at the huge flower pots. Could it have been any worse? Yes, it could and it was about to. I lost my balance and nearly fell over. 

Damn.

Damn.

Damn.

I kind of skirted around him without making eye contact and nearly made it out of the store.

Notice I said "nearly."

Whatever in His name possessed me to look back? I could have pulled this off if only I wasn't tempted to look back. I DO NOT believe I did that.

"Is that you, Rosie?"

Yup. It's me. I just looked at him ready to give the oh-what-a-surprise-look and then the brain fog hit. Instead, I just looked up at him like a fool. I wanted to say something but  I couldn't think of anything to say.

Double damn. 

Fortunately he was never the type that noticed what I was wearing or anything about my hair and today was no different. He just wasn't that type of guy. We exchanged pleasantries and I couldn't wait to get out of there. I said goodbye and, for the first time in months, practically ran all the way to my car. I couldn't believe he saw me that way and then on top of it all I acted like the village idiot. 

There is a silver lining to all of this. I learned something important about my values today.

I WILL NEVER, EVER  GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT MAKEUP AGAIN.