Tuesday, May 18, 2010


I haven't written anything in a couple of days.
Because I hurt.
A lot.

The weather has changed again. This does not bode well for a good nights sleep and no sleep equals more pain tomorrow. My hands hurt like hell and typing just kills me right now. To top it all off I had a whole post written and I don't know what I did but it wouldn't let me edit it and when I logged back in, it was gone! 

Kind of sounds like my life.

I logged out due to the Fibromyalgia and when I logged back in my life was gone! I am sick of being sick and tired. I keep trying to find the balance but I'm out of balance. I feel better when I rest but I'm tired of resting. I feel better when I can get some sleep but it's very difficult to get any sleep. I feel better when I get around people but I hurt so bad right now that I don't want to be around anyone.

Did I say balance?

So I'm going to take more pain medication, a muscle relaxer, some melatonin and see if my eyes will close. I know I should turn off the TV but then I'll be in the dark with my eyes wide open. I've got crisp, cool and clean white sheets that have been sprayed with just a touch of lavender and chamomile. 

This should be sleep heaven. 

But it isn't.

I'm tired and fatigued and can't sleep. My body aches deep down with that lovely bone chilling ache. My hands feel arthritic. The muscle spasms in my legs are starting so I better pop that medication before it gets too out of hand. So tonight not only can I not fall asleep, I'll be willing to bet that the alpha wave intrusion will rear it's ugly head into whatever sleep I do manage to get. 

So to all who did sleep.....I envy you.

Sweet dreams.


  1. Hi Rose,
    Well, I'm right there with you, also envious of the well-slept folks! One night of good sleep feels like it would change my life.
    I sweat constantly, and I mean constantly! I soak my sheets and jammies and it's gone on for so long now, I'm so exhausted that sometimes I haven't even taken off my wet jammies. Just fell back into the half-sleep -- half awake and half asleep!
    I am sorry you are not feeling well. I hope you get sleep soon. It always helps with the pain to get some real sleep.
    I have not visited my emails. I am not inspired and in fact am avoiding it. I have a new computer and it is okay for now until I get the other one totally overhauled. I am not inspired though because the screen is too small and when I open my email, well, it feels like it might burst this tiny screen!
    I'm going back to bed. I didn't really want to get up anyway. I wish instead I felt like living my day I have! It doesn't much feel like living when you are lying in bed, wishing you could sleep so you could then go do something, anything at all.
    May your days get better soon!
    dogkisses and special hugs to you.

  2. You can turn your car off if it's not in park.

    Try meditation!

    Or try to find a doctor in your area.

    Relax, and good luck

  3. That one hurt my head--the one about the car in park--I am not even going to try, my head hurts.

    Man, sleep. Such a simple word, such a difficult state of being to reach. Difficult, as in NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! I am so sorry for you, Rose. You need to sleep to get all healed!

    Miss dogkisses, you are wailing my song when you speak of the night sweats. I don't have enough jammies(love that word) to make it thru the night. And, summer is not even here. Can't wait for our cool 90 overnight low!

    This is a day or two later, hope you have gotten some sleep by now, Rose!



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