Monday, January 18, 2010

GLOOMY AND SAD








It's coming.


Rain.


It's supposed to rain all week and I know that while the clouds are a beautiful thing, it isn't a beautiful thing for my body.


My hands already hurt and it's getting worse.


I've watched the clouds and the gentle rain coming down through my window and I can't even think of the beauty. All I can think is how much I hurt.


Is there a silver lining?


In the "Art of War" by Sun Tzu one of the principles is to know your enemy and know yourself. I'm beginning to think of this as the enemy.


So I need to know myself and know Fibromyalgia and only then can I prevail.


Right now I want to curl up. It's hard to find hope in the middle of pain.


Am I the only one that feels that way?



I'm not doing well with any coping mechanisms right now and the only thing I want is to bury my face in a quart of Haagen Daz but I know I'll hate myself afterwards. I've tried finding my zen place but my zen place is ice cream....no that's not what I mean. I'm not real disciplined, but I guess it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. 


I mean....................... 4 or 5 of those little things make a nice snack.




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