Friday, January 22, 2010


So much for Zanaflex.

I should be fair and give it at least a week but being my Typical Type A self and an immediate gratification freak, I want it to help me NOW.

So here I am awake, muscles cramping, humidity rising and pain building to an unbelievable crescendo and the Zanaflex isn't kicking in yet. I have to wait to take the pain medication so I thought I'd write for awhile.

Fibromyalgia sucks.

There are some characteristics we are born with. I've had perfectionistic tendencies all my life. I remember having my shoes placed in my closet by colors before I even started school. I drove my mother crazy by not wanting my foods to touch on the plate otherwise I wouldn't eat it. My makeshift home Dewey Decimal system.......the list goes on and on. If I'd known that my quest for order and perfection would lead to the pain I'm in today I think my life would have been different.

Did it really matter if my spices were in alphabetical order? Did it matter that video tapes and DVD's still follow that pattern? I am so much better than I used to be but some habits are hard to break.

I know in my head that the cortisol and adrenaline that must constantly be running through my system is BAD but that's me. Again, I'm a great deal better than I used to be but there are some things that just won't change.

No Help in LIfe.

It also doesn't help when you're unemployed. It doesn't help when disability denies you. It really doesn't help when you're used to making a fair amount of  money and you've drained your accounts dealing with an invisible illness that just loves to make your life chaotic.

I can live with a marginal amount of  pain. I've been doing that for years. When pain is coupled with insomnia and the pain is no longer marginal, that is a little tough to deal with in a cheerful manner.

Well for now I'll try to be patient and give the Zanaflex an opportunity to work.



  1. It sounds like you are having a tough time right now. I take a mixture of advil and aspirin on bad days and on really bad days take vicodin and hot baths. Oh and pray.
    Hang in there and get involved in something you love.

  2. Thanks Cherie.........I take oxycodone because there's nothing in there to harm the liver. Let me tell you, hot baths are my salvation. It's been humid and the humidity just makes me crazy! The writing really helps as well. It tends to make me focus on conveying my thoughts in a coherent manner........I love your blog, by the way! It really helps and just gives you a sense of peace. Thanks for writing!


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