Wednesday, January 20, 2010


It's amazing that a beautiful and much needed rain can wreak so much havoc on my system but that will be the story of my life; at least this week. With that said......what else can be as bad as the pain that comes with the rain?

What you ask?? 

Just a quick MRI and nerve conduction test. 

Helga's House of Pain

It shouldn't be too major, just a  few simple electrodes placed strategically on my legs and feet. A couple of stabs and .......voila! I'm done. 

I swear the woman that tested me today not only worked there but was the manager.

No. Such. Luck.

First, it's advisable to keep me waiting over an hour. I love that. Then I have this dominatrix taking off the first three layers of skin trying to get the electrodes on my head and legs. Once applied I'm gently asked to get my already sore body on an ice cold table. Then Helga the terrible says, "Ready?"  and before I could say, "HELL NO!" she shot an electrical current that could keep New York lit for a week through my legs. 

As I'm flopping like a fish just out of water on the table, she zaps me again! I raised my head and glared at her and asked if she could wait a few seconds. She looked at me again and started in with a SERIES OF 8.  

At that point I figured it was time to take some action. I grabbed her hand and said STOP and if she didn't warn me before the next series I wanted someone else to do the testing. I looked down at my legs and I have lovely little blue marks where she burned me from the current.  

What a wonderful day.

So I proceed to the cigar tube for an MRI. This isn't bad because I'm not claustrophobic. At least I got to rest but I had to wait because my legs still had spasms from all the electrical currents playing with my nerve endings. 

When I finally got out of there I realized the pain in my body wasn't that bad after all.

At least Helga wasn't giving me a massage.


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