Monday, April 26, 2010


I've got a great story.............

Whenever someone asks me what I like to be called, whether it's Rose, Rose Mary or Rosemary or hey you, my first response is: "It really doesn't matter....I've even answered to bitch." 

My name is actually Rose but I went to Rosemary when I married a man with the last name of Lee. Now, I don't know what anyone else thinks but Rose Lee sounds like a stripper so that's when I combined my first name and middle name; hence,  Rosemary. In my whole life I never got called Rosemary unless I was in trouble. Well........I did hear that name quite a bit after I got my car......but that's another story all together!

Sometimes I think I sound like I'm in total control. I'm really not but I think I write that way. I've been told that my writing sounds totally different from the way I intend it to really come across. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's just my style. What I mean to say is:

I am like everyone else with this mess. I'm in the depths of the black hole and then somewhat normal. I'm in excruciating pain and then it drops to about a seven and I'm then thanking God every other minute. I fall asleep at the drop of a hat and then I can't sleep at night. Mostly I hate that I have this wretched disease. I haven't accepted much about it. I hate that I have to slug down pain medication to get through the days and especially the nights.

I'm definitely not Little Mary Sunshine. I love humor and love to laugh. Some days there's just not a lot to laugh about. I'm a cynic and look at the world half empty but wish with all my heart human nature wouldn't disappoint me and I could look at the world from the glass half full. 

I love disaster movies. Truly I love watching the world get wiped out by a giant tsunami. Deep Impact, The Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Volcano and Twister are some of my favorite movies. I never tire of watching them. Being myself on the other end of the spectrum, I love sappy romantic comedies. 13 going on 30 is one of my favorites. I love movies and usually end up watching them until 3 or 4 in the morning until I can try to close my eyes.

I used to call this blog, "I really do miss myself," but I changed it to something that I was looking for rather than something that was occurring. It's true, though. I really do miss myself. I used to be really intelligent. I loved reading contracts and reading law books. Now I can't even get through a Harlequin romance novel without re-reading it. I used to have a near photographic memory. Now I can't even remember where I put my keys. I used to have a great sense of humor and an intense personality. Now, I find it hard to find the silver lining in most of my days.

It irritates the crap out of me that I hurt ALL THE TIME. I hate that I have to take this pain medication. I really hate that fricking car accident that tripped the domino and started all of this mess. 

So what do I answer to? 

I'll answer to anything if I can remember who I am that day.


  1. I am so like you....I think?
    I so wish for my old self back and accnot accept the fact that I cannot have her back!!!
    I want her back dammit!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Have fun at the beach!!! All I can say, dear one, is great minds think alike!!!!!!!!!!


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