LETS GET A HOBBY

I was told I need a hobby. Hobbies are good for therapy and they keep your hands busy. They're calming and can relieve stress.

I love hobbies and I have tried many of them.

Just don't ask how many of them I still have.

Lets see.........I think I'll start out with knitting. Good place to start. My cousin, who got me in and out of more trouble than I can think of, called me.

"Hey, Rose, I'm starting a knitting class...want to go?"

Being the amiable person that I am I replied, "Sure."

OK, most people go to the class and purchase needles and yarn. No big deal, right? I got the bag, I got circular needles, I got two types of knitting needles and I bought angora yarn. I didn't want to knit a plain old sweater. I was going to knit a masterpiece. Mel and I decided we could start making sweaters and then selling them. Hey, I was ALL in for that one.

When I got home I showed my husband everything and told him how excited I was to start the class. He looked at me with a slightly raised and arched eyebrow and said,

"I'll give you $500.00 if you finish that sweater."

Well, I knew I had that 500 in the bag. I told him, " no problem." Let me ask you, do you think I EVER got that 500?

Let's move on to stained glass. I have to say one thing about my ex-husband. He may have been a lot of things but he was patient with me. When I told him I wanted to take a stained glass class he just looked at me and said okay and then walked away shaking his head. As I look back he was probably wondering how much this little adventure was going to cost him. If you read about the knitting you know the outcome. I still have some of the knives that I bought for that class. The glorious window remains a vision.

Probably my crowning glory is the garden. Now I love plants and flowers. I loved walking out in our back yard and smelling all the beautiful flowers and seeing the lush greenery. It was gorgeous. I can do the planting and the admiring. Maintenance, however, is a different story.

I bought bags AND BAGS of soil. I wanted beautiful little rows of tomatoes, onions and corn planted. Yes, corn in the Las Vegas valley. I wanted green peppers and rows of potatoes. With each row planted I would proudly tell my husband how much money we were going to save. God Bless Him, every time I mentioned it he just looked at me and walked away shaking his head.

We could have gone to Europe on what I spent on that fictitious garden. Do you think the veggies ever made it to the table? I'll bet you answered correctly.

My latest was beading. My girlfriend asked me to join her. I knew what was going to happen and I still went with her. I told her what was going to happen, and I STILL went with her. Yep, it did happen again. I am the proud owner of a beading bag and tons of beads and a bracelet that looks like a three year old did it.

After all this, I've come to the conclusion that hobbies are not my forte. I've also concluded that I am the idea man. I can visualize it, I can put it together. I'll direct the picture but someone else needs to do the physical work and maintenance. In the event I still want to attempt something creative, I should stick to solitary pursuits that don't involve ANYTHING artsy-craftsy. I tried scrapbooks and the pictures are still in one place but I have a TON of paper and materials to make the largest scrapbook in history. QVC has to love me. I just don't seem to learn.

After all of this another girlfriend calls me and asks if I want to go to a beading class with her. I tell her the story but she still wants me to go.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Maybe I should try biofeedback.