Wednesday, June 3, 2009


I've always been a thinker. I think before I speak; which is a good thing but I don't always think before I act, which is a bad thing. That little oversight has been at the crux of most of my issues. You would think that a thinker wouldn't have that problem. I analyze; over-analyze, over-analyze again and then beat it into the ground, kill it, bury it and then unfortunately, resurrect it and start the process all over again. It would be a plus if I did that before I decided to act.

Sometimes, there is just not enough time. Hey, it's better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission. Did I say I had problems? This is why.

As I research right brain and left brain function, I see a startling fact. First, meditation does grow the gray matter in your brain. I'm not saying you have to sit cross legged and say ohm but some sort of quiet time focusing on nothing but relaxing your body and getting your brain waves down to something lower than an beta level would be highly beneficial. Second, thinking does affect your body and will go in the direction of your thoughts. Remember, the power of positive thinking?

The beta level is most associated with our normal waking state. Beta helps with analysis, logical thinking and active attentive function. Stress can throw the beta level into overdrive. I think that I'm very familiar with the beta level in overdrive.

Now, I'm not saying that when I focus on a beautiful Mercedes 500 I'm going to see one materialize in my driveway, but positive thoughts increase the dopamine in your system. Conversely, negative thinking brings cortisol and other lovely things that are only intended for the flight or fight syndrome. That syndrome is there to keep us alive. It's not there to be used on a continual basis or as a way to live. That impacts your body in a very unhealthy way.

Negativity also obscures your thinking and stands between you and your realization. I heard this today and pondered on this for awhile. While I have talked myself into many, many things; self realization and having the ability to move beyond my fears isn't one of them. It would be interesting to find out how much I could really do if I didn't talk myself out of things due to fear or my inherently cynical way of thinking.

How do you take a natural cynic and turn that around into a positive force? I haven't figured that one out yet. I've got a litany of quotes regarding human nature:

No good deed goes unpunished.

Human nature will never fail me.

When you see the light at the end of the tunnel it's probably the train coming at full speed.

I expected times like this but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long or so frequent.

It's always darkest before it goes pitch black.

In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.

See what I mean? The list is endless. Do I say, "it's always darkest before it goes pitch black but hey, it's a dry heat"? How in the heck to you take something ingrained in your very being and turn it into a positive?

I'm obviously not Little Mary Sunshine but there has to be a way to get some sort of positive in there. I can't change my personality overnight and I'm not sure that I can change it at all but I'm trying.

Sometimes when you look up and see storm clouds it's impossible to believe that a rainbow will be forthcoming.


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