My muscles have been really twitchy lately.
And I'm so tired.
And I hurt.
Real bad.
I think this dentist business has really taken it's toll on me. At least I don't have to go back until Friday. I don't think I can take much more of that place. It hurts too much for too long. I'm exhausted and all I want to do is sleep. This doesn't work because when I finally fall asleep and I move; even a little bit, I wake up and then it's impossible to go back to sleep.
I feel like I've been drained, de-boned and I'm this jellied mass. I'm too tired to rub my aching muscles. I'm actually too tired to rub Ben Gay on them. I want to get up to get something to drink but I'm too exhausted to move. Not good.
Now I've got some pain in my jaw going up to my ear. Is that part of this too? Now, I've got this sound in my right ear that sounds like static. It is off and on and slightly annoying. It's just one more thing that seems to be going wrong with my body.
The typing is almost more than I can take. I'm even too tired to get in the tub. Even if I could get in the tub, I'm too afraid that I couldn't get out of the tub. It's been years since I've been this tired. It feels like Chronic Fatigue in high gear. I hate this thief who is slowly stealing my life. It's already stolen my career; what else does it want?
I'm laying in bed with the laptop which is where I write most of these posts. I'm staring at the monitor like some mindless lump because I'm too tired to think. I'd like to cry but I'm too sore and much to tired to even do that. If none of this makes sense please realize that I'm too tired to even have words make sense.
Doesn't this sound fun?
Don't you wish you were me?
Me either.
It is frightening to feel the way you are feeling right now. When I am there my mind always (always) goes to "what if I stay like this?" What if I can't shake it this time? I am slowly, maybe, getting passed that part in my insomnia spell this time. But here I am up at 3:00am writing this...so maybe not.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are feeling this way, Rose. I do think you are right about the dental work aggravating the fibro and CF. It may not be bacteria seeping in, but it most definitely is STRESS...in Oh, So Many Ways!!!
Really all we can do is ride it out and try and get as much rest (notice I did not say sleep!) as possible. Did you read My CFS Life today (6/21/10)? She has a most amazing outlook on this kind of fatigue.
You are on my heart, too.
me,
CJ
Hey sweetie.......true......this is all we can do is ride it out. I haven't read that post yet but she is inspiring. I wish I had her attitude. I know I need mine adjusted.....
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Dear Rose,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you are that tired. I understand but that doesn't help much, I know. It is horrible being so tired.
I wish we could all take a vacation together. Wouldn't that be cool.
Like in the mountains of North Carolina!
Just dreaming I guess.
I wish you healing. I will pray for you. Try to remember that things will get better, I know that doesn't help much either right now, but they will get better.
With love in my heart,
dogkisses.