NOTHING STAYS THE SAME

One day it's 110.

One day it's 70.

One day the humidity is 6%

One day the humidity is 40%

I feel like a wandering soul that is seeking equilibrium. Hence the name. Everything is the same and yet nothing stays the same. How do you find peace in that kind of environment?

I've been going to the support group and met some really nice women. My initial feelings about the group is that they try too hard to skirt the real issues of Fibromyalgia. I may be totally way off base because this is only my second time there, however, it seems like they only want it to be upbeat. I feel bad saying this because I really like these women AND I've been in a real pissy mood lately. Chalk it up to the heat or the flare, I don't know, but maybe it's just my mood. Believe me, it hasn't been pretty. Physically and emotionally, I've been on a major roller coaster so please read the rest of this with that in mind. It could all be in my mind.

I know that no one wants or needs to go to a real downer meeting but there are real problems that need to be faced with Fibromyalgia. There are people that need to speak out about how they feel because that might be the only place where they can speak. There are emotional, physical and financial issues. It would be nice to have support but I think people are very frightened of pain; even those people that experience it on a daily basis.  Pain touches us on a real primal level. We become fearful and automatically back away but we need to reach out and  embrace it because if we don't no one will. I also think that we've become so used to rejection, by both the medical community and our own family and friends, that we are afraid to look vulnerable. 

Again, I know that no one needs to get more depressed than they probably are but there needs to be a time set aside where people can express themselves so they don't feel like they're out there on their own. There are other people that feel the same way, have the same thoughts and hate this illness as much as they do.

There's a double edged sword to this invisible illness and sometimes we use it on ourselves. We want so desperately to come out of the shadows but when we do we deny the very feelings we want to express. We understand what we are going through on a daily basis and those feelings need to be addressed in a venue where we can feel safe and supported. 

We live in a world of an invisible illness. The last place we need to feel invisible is in our support group.