Monday, July 12, 2010
Everyone has a way
to express what has happened
to them and their life while dealing with chronic pain.
The problem is that a lot of
people don't believe them.
Everyone gets tired and, sure, everyone hurts once in awhile. If you just get moving it will take your mind off of the pain and you'll feel better. You need to force yourself to get up and around that way you'll be able to sleep at night. It's ridiculous, no one can feel bad all the time.
I used to think and believe that I thrived on stress. I loved the pressure and stress of new home sales. The busier it got and the more I had to do, the better I liked it. As the market plummeted the challenge was greater and the pressure and stress increased but I still loved it. It was a giant adrenaline rush.
My body said no more.
There is mounting evidence that physical trauma may trigger the onset of Fibromyalgia and I believe it with all my heart. When I was rear ended with the force of a vehicle going approximately 30 miles per hour, it did something to my body. At the time I brushed off the increasing pain and fatigue and I attributed it to the accident. I figured it would go away but, instead, it stayed and kept getting worse.
It was upsetting and frustrating to forget things that were second nature to me. It was irritating to search for words that were always just at the tip of my tongue. All of a sudden the contracts and disclosures that I read everyday were fuzzy and it was more difficult to explain them. The multi-tasking ways that I excelled in was becoming overwhelming. An almost photographic memory was a thing of the past.
What was happening to me?
I found out about this illness and then I also found out about the disbelief that accompanies this invisible disease. If you don't look sick you must not be sick. It takes a lot to put on the face I give to the world. Believe me, I can look sick. See me curled up in bed praying that the pain and muscle spasms will stop. Trust me, I look every bit of sick. It's funny, we try so hard to put on a brave face to the world and then get upset when people disbelieve that we are sick. People don't understand that we have a much greater response to pain; in ways that are painful as well as situations and stimuli that to most people aren't normally painful.
So what happens next?
I have no clue.
I wish I didn't have to explain myself all the time. I'd like to find a doctor that didn't treat me either like a two year old or patronize me or give me the proverbial pat on the fanny and send the neurotic lady home. With all the information out there about Fibromyalgia they still have a hard time accepting it. They minimize your pain and don't bother to listen to you. The cattle call doesn't allow the time necessary to help you find and plot the best course of action. You keep getting shuffled off to a different doctor. Don't even get me started on pain management. That's a whole different animal and not much better.
So what do we do? There are pain and fatigue issues. There are sleep issues. There can be issues with depression. There can be issues with other autoimmune diseases. There can be irritable bowel issues. There can be thyroid issues. When will doctors recognize that it takes a team to manage chronic pain and all of the other problems that can accompany Fibromyalgia?
I hope it's not when pigs fly.