It's hot.
And I'm bothered.
What has happened?
It seems that
everyone I know
is having a real bad month.
Today, has been a pain day. I've experienced muscle spasms earlier in the day than usual. The old familiar stiffness and pain was present when I woke up this morning. I've also had a hard time keeping my eyes open.
Here we go again.
The old migrating pain. It hurts in my hands and then my feet. Tomorrow it might be my shoulder or it can be all over my body. But it never really goes away. I'm spending my days in a perpetual state of exhaustion. I've learned something though about saving up my energy. The problem with that is that when I have energy I overdo it. Then I end up paying for it.
Big time.
My fog has also been bothering me lately. Can we talk short term memory? Today I'd love to have memory at all. It's been one of those times that I can't remember what I did 5 minutes ago. I know I had a phone conversation but I can't remember what we said.
I'm writing this and I can't stop yawning......
Lately loud noise gets to me which is weird because when it comes to music I've always said, "if it's too loud you're too old." It isn't that, it is anything loud or discordant has been bothering me. I feel like everything is getting to me lately.
Maybe that's what we should rename this lovely disorder.
It's the EVERYTHING BOTHERS ME DISORDER.
The pain bothers me, the fatigue bothers me, the brain fog bothers me, noise bothers me, heat bothers me, humidity bothers me, cold bothers me. My broken thermostat bothers me. I can't seem to get it regulated and that bothers me.
My inability to handle any type of stress bothers me. The depression bothers me. My thyroid bothers me and the fact that I can't lose this weight REALLY bothers me. The fact that I don't feel like going out bothers me. The fact that I have to store up little bits of energy bothers me.
Muscle spasms bother me and waiting for the muscle relaxers and pain medication to kick in bothers me. The fact that I have to take this medication at all bothers me.
When I do have good days I can't enjoy them because I know that the pain is right around the corner; that bothers me. I hate being curled up in bed in pain and the fact that the pain is still there bothers me. I'm acting like a sissy because of the pain and that bothers me.
I hate what this has done to my life and that bothers me. I need to get beyond that and I can't and that bothers me.
Everything bothers me lately.
Am I the only one??
((hugs))to you Rosemary. I know how difficult it is to manage flairs and stress. Everything affects me more when I have a bad flare. More sensitive to loud noise, bright light, and everyday minor stress. And I am one to play in the sun and turn the music up. I have been able to manage my flares and budget days off when I know a flare will hit for the past couple months. As of lately the stress has been uncontrollable and the fibro unmanageable. The fog and dreadful fatigue are back. I can not seem to pull out of it. A fibro retreat is the only thing that may set me free. Away from all the stress. A tall order, I know. For now trying to relax in a quiet room is my only hope. Wishing better days for you.
ReplyDelete((hugs))
Teia
Hi Rose,
ReplyDeleteI'm bothered too. Maybe it's the moon and lots of us are bothered, or, maybe feeling like crap all the time just sucks you know.
I'm too tired to blog. I simply can't do it when the fog hits hard. I can't read other blogs or comment. Sigh...
Thank goodness for a few good days you know, 'cause without those what in the world would we do?
See, even my comment is depressing. I am depressing myself!
I hope you feel better soon, and if that means just a little while of feeling okay, then I hope you have that.
I'm thinking of you.
hugs2u, dogkisses.
I know..........just too tired to do much. What is in the air?? I read your post about the "N" wanting to end it all. They never go away! I've been thinking of you too. Just tired and it pain. :-(
ReplyDeleteHi Rose,
ReplyDeleteI hope it is less humid where you are than here! It's only 10am and it's been hot since 7! Crazy.
I wanted to let you know that the post you speak of, is from a conversation I had with the N in December of '09. It was in my drafts folder. I just decided to make it public. I've have no contact with him since then. I will never have contact with him and if I do I'll be dialing 911. I wouldn't give the man the time of day and I mean that. I have no desire to talk to him. I would not dare.
Just wanted to clear that up. He is gone, forever and this is something that I am happy about.
I need to respond to some of your emails. All emails with attachments go to my junk folder now. I've have lots of spam coming and am going to change emails soon. I do not trust emails because some are from women asking me to look at their nude pics. I know who that comes from! Others have the subject as: Please help sweetie and I need your help and blah blah blah. I wouldn't open them for a million bucks. Well, actually I would 'cause then I could afford a better computer!
How is your daughter doing? I hope you are feeling better today.
Gentle hugs2U,
dogkisses.
So glad to hear it was a prior post!! You probably had it on there and I was too tired to catch it!! I had to go through that too and now I have to check my spam and junk folders before I delete anything.
ReplyDeleteIt's beginning to get humid as we're entering the monsoon season. Crap. Hope you're feeling better sweetie!!